Not said ‘step’daughter

[fornobody]

DSD is 17, my dd is 10.

Last weekend dd invited a friend to town for lunch and some shopping. They are a bit young to go alone and so dsd offered to take them. Friend’s mum agreed, they went and seemed to have a great time.

Friend’s mum has now somehow found out that dsd is my step daughter and is annoyed I didn’t tell her, asking why I lied and saying she might have felt differently about agreeing if she’d known. I didn’t intentionally lie, I just didn’t think it was relevant or needed mentioning.

AIBU to have not specified and think it shouldn’t matter?
Would you be more likely to say no in this situation if I’d said she was my stepdaughter?

DSD is a very nice sister

Other mum is a complete idiot, possibly nasty piece of work

Yeah your mate is mental. What a thing to make a fuss about. Must be something else going on in her life

I could understand her logic if you'd just married your husband after knowing him for a short time and had only met his daughter very recently, but DSD has been in your life for over a decade, and DD has known her all her life. If your friend "knows" you and respects you well enough to automatically trust someone just because they're your daughter AND she has only now figured out the 17yo is your stepdaughter, then she must know the two of you are close and that YOU trust your stepdaughter. Anyway, you didn't mislead anyone if you said that DDS is DD's sister; she is. If everyone's home safe and sound and happy, why make an issue now?

To be honest, your referring to your DD’s older sister would probably lead me to assume you were the stepmother - otherwise, maybe more natural to say “my older daughter will take them”? But - whatever- I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong at all, nor have you been dishonest. If the other mother has made incorrect assumptions, that’s on her. She sounds a bit nuts, anyway - why on earth would it matter?

You are very well named if you turn round every time you speak 😂

Well I suppose her rationale has some logic to it, and perhaps she is a very anxious parent, but you were not in the wrong. They are sisters and DSD has the status of "daughter" in your home, so why would you think to point it out in this context. I would just apologize while inwardly rolling my eyes, stress what a lovely time they had nonetheless and not mention it to DD or DSD.

The Mum sounds like She is in an extremely bigoted cult. Her thinking process is not normal.

You did nothing wrong. Stupid woman.

She sounds bonkers. I honestly despair of some people these days
Me and my brother have different Dads (note I said brother and not half-brother 🤣)

I have never introduced him saying “this is my half brother Jack” I would always say “this is my brother Jack”

This, same with my sibs!
The friend sounds mad. Don't know what her problem is.

If there's anything to pick at. It would be that if I was the other mum complaining I would of wanted OP t9 be responsible for two 10 year old girls. Not faffing around over DD or SD. Although that's on the mum for agreeing in the 1st place.

Shouldn't make a damn bit of difference, and you should tell the friend's mother tartly that you're sorry she doesn't understand that your not mentioning it is an illustration of the excellence of your family relations.

Wrong end of the stick 🤣🤣

Nah, you and the friends mum are just snobby and judgemental. Own it.