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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel miffed about my family getting Irish passports?

363 replies

Honeysucklelane · Yesterday 22:32

AIBU to feel miffed my DH & kids are getting Irish passports? They all have UK passports and it seems a luxury to pay twice.

I can’t get an Irish passport, but my DH and DC’s can. I’ve pointed out I’ll be stuck in the long non-EU queues at airports whilst they go ahead through the EU queue.

Realistically unless any of them travel somewhere alone, it’s highly unlikely they’ll be with other family or friends with Irish passports so they’ll always be waiting on whoever they’re travelling with anyway so what is the point?

DH was very sheepish when a neighbour popped round with the signed forms this evening and was avoiding telling me what he’d dropped round for.

OP posts:
TY78910 · Yesterday 23:02

So the only reason you don’t want them to get an EU passport is because you’re jealous? Jesus.

Ahdnf · Yesterday 23:02

Honeysucklelane · Yesterday 23:00

Because I’m anxious about being left in a queue on my own and then trying to find them afterwards.

Text message. Tell them to wait for you at baggage reclaim or just outside/after the border control. Easily done.

PollyBell · Yesterday 23:02

Honeysucklelane · Yesterday 23:00

Because I’m anxious about being left in a queue on my own and then trying to find them afterwards.

You are a grown adult you need to be able to cope with perfectly normal things

JHound · Yesterday 23:03

Honeysucklelane · Yesterday 23:00

Because I’m anxious about being left in a queue on my own and then trying to find them afterwards.

You are presumably old enough to have children but not old enough to be left alone in a queue for a few minutes?

Ahdnf · Yesterday 23:03

TY78910 · Yesterday 23:02

So the only reason you don’t want them to get an EU passport is because you’re jealous? Jesus.

Not even that. Anxiety about different queues.

Ahdnf · Yesterday 23:04

PollyBell · Yesterday 23:02

You are a grown adult you need to be able to cope with perfectly normal things

I wanted to say this as well

Honeysucklelane · Yesterday 23:04

Ahdnf · Yesterday 23:01

I mean you're choosing to be worried about it. Just think about it. Nothing bad will happen. They'll wait for you on the other side or at baggage reclaim. You have a phone to text them.

Seriously? Have you ever suffered from mental health issues? It isn’t a choice to worry / feel anxious about certain situations. I thought society had come a long way with understanding MH but clearly not.

OP posts:
Youspurnme · Yesterday 23:04

So your problem isn’t with Irish passports. It’s with queuing alone. Very different issues there OP. Go and get some therapy to help you stand in line without panicking. Leave Irish citizens alone.

Honeysucklelane · Yesterday 23:05

Ahdnf · Yesterday 23:04

I wanted to say this as well

Anxiety isn’t something you can magic away when you become a grown adult. There’s no age limitations on it.

OP posts:
LoudSnoringDog · Yesterday 23:05

Honeysucklelane · Yesterday 22:44

I’m anxious about being left on my own queuing up whilst they’ve all gone on ahead in a different queue.

Sadly we’re not all able to navigate these situations with ease.

Why are you anxious about standing in a queue? Do you not go anywhere alone?

Honeysucklelane · Yesterday 23:06

Youspurnme · Yesterday 23:04

So your problem isn’t with Irish passports. It’s with queuing alone. Very different issues there OP. Go and get some therapy to help you stand in line without panicking. Leave Irish citizens alone.

They aren’t Irish citizens! We live in the UK. I have nothing against Irish citizens.

OP posts:
Freshtona · Yesterday 23:06

confused2025 · Yesterday 22:34

you can go as a family through the EU manual gate. Also it gives your children more options if they want to study/live/work in Europe.

Not always. My husband and DC are Italian. I'm British. We got separated out under the new system and they went with him. I got sent to the British queue even though DC are very small

minipie · Yesterday 23:06

I’d be delighted if my kids could get EU passports, so many potential life opportunities for them. I can’t quite believe your main focus is on passport queues but it’s clearly something you’re anxious about. Do you never travel alone?

Whatabouterry · Yesterday 23:08

It’s great. DH has one and always has the luggage sorted while I’m queuing. Unfortunately we couldn’t get our kids one but I would absolutely love it if they had one too.
Try not to worry about the queues- we just meet at the luggage carousel. That part has never been an issue. It’s a gift to your kids, they are very lucky.

ColdAsAWitches · Yesterday 23:10

Mygiddyvalentine · Yesterday 22:50

We Irish are not in Schengen so apparently we are stuck in the long queues too. 😭😭😭

That's wrong. You can go through the EU queue. Schengen has nothing to do with it.

Honeysucklelane · Yesterday 23:10

TY78910 · Yesterday 23:02

So the only reason you don’t want them to get an EU passport is because you’re jealous? Jesus.

Have you read my posts or just jumped to conclusions? I have said several times I’m anxious about being left in a queue alone without my DH or kids. Airports are very busy over crowded places which I’m fine with when I’m with my family / friends.

Luckily some people have commented I can join my family in the EU queue which I didn’t know was possible.

OP posts:
QueenOfHiraeth · Yesterday 23:10

I'd be more anxious about the fact that your husband thought it OK to do something as major as apply for additional passports without discussing it with you than about waiting in a queue to be frank..

Ahdnf · Yesterday 23:11

Honeysucklelane · Yesterday 23:05

Anxiety isn’t something you can magic away when you become a grown adult. There’s no age limitations on it.

Of course you can..you have to deal with it and stop catastrophising every little thing. Are you able to go to work and have a job? Do you travel independently?

You can presumably go on a plane and take a flight without worrying about the miniscule chance something goes wrong with the plane itself?

Chilly80 · Yesterday 23:11

Getting them is a good idea. Your DH doing it secretly is the issue.

Honeysucklelane · Yesterday 23:11

minipie · Yesterday 23:06

I’d be delighted if my kids could get EU passports, so many potential life opportunities for them. I can’t quite believe your main focus is on passport queues but it’s clearly something you’re anxious about. Do you never travel alone?

Nope, not aboard anyhow. I only ever travel alone driving in the UK to see friends / family.,I’m not keen on flying either.

OP posts:
TheDogsMother · Yesterday 23:12

Crumpetring · Yesterday 22:52

I don’t know if the rules are different for Irish passports but there’s a newish rule that anyone with dual citizenship needs to travel back into England on their British passport. People have been refused boarding by their airline for not having the British passport with them so check that before you stop renewing the British ones.

Ireland and the UK have an agreement in place so it is possible to travel between the UK and the EU on an Irish passport.

ClementineFortyNine · Yesterday 23:12

Honeysucklelane · Yesterday 22:40

How will your DH qualify? We don’t live in Ireland. My DH’s parents are Irish. Ironically my DH never even wanted to take the kids to Ireland for a holiday when they were little.

Now he’s claiming his heritage because the queues are quicker / easier.

You sound jealous. But this opens huge doors for your kids to live and travel in Europe.

dainto · Yesterday 23:12

I have access to both passports. I have the British one. Non EU and British are now one and the same in any airport we have travelled into.

Sorry to clarify, queues are much shorter for non EU depending on where you are travelling to.

But most passport lines have EU and UK together.

Honeysucklelane · Yesterday 23:14

Ahdnf · Yesterday 23:11

Of course you can..you have to deal with it and stop catastrophising every little thing. Are you able to go to work and have a job? Do you travel independently?

You can presumably go on a plane and take a flight without worrying about the miniscule chance something goes wrong with the plane itself?

I don’t travel alone abroad.

I’m very nervous flier.

I’m not catastrophising every little thing.

We’re all different, the things in life you find a breeze someone else might find difficult and vice versa.

OP posts:
titchy · Yesterday 23:14

Honeysucklelane · Yesterday 23:06

They aren’t Irish citizens! We live in the UK. I have nothing against Irish citizens.

They are Irish citizens - hence the passports. They’re not Irish residents, but they absolutely are citizens.