AIBU to feel miffed about my family getting Irish passports?

[Honeysucklelane]

AIBU to feel miffed my DH & kids are getting Irish passports? They all have UK passports and it seems a luxury to pay twice.

I can’t get an Irish passport, but my DH and DC’s can. I’ve pointed out I’ll be stuck in the long non-EU queues at airports whilst they go ahead through the EU queue.

Realistically unless any of them travel somewhere alone, it’s highly unlikely they’ll be with other family or friends with Irish passports so they’ll always be waiting on whoever they’re travelling with anyway so what is the point?

DH was very sheepish when a neighbour popped round with the signed forms this evening and was avoiding telling me what he’d dropped round for.

@Honeysucklelane Don't feel bad about it, because most people with Irish and/or UK passports can't even afford a foreign holiday to begin with.

Again - just all about you!

I'd be quite relieved my kids had EU passports but wouldn't be at all impressed if my DH buggered off and left me in the queue on my own. Will he really do that though OP?

Get over it, that’s pathetic.

Why?

My stepdaughters both voted for Brexit. Their Dad (my partner) is Irish so post Brexit they both applied for Irish passports. It annoys me so much.

No one can help their own mental health issues but to expect others to change what they do because of them is another issue

Why would you be left alone? Even if you can’t go in the EU queue with them, they can stay with you. There’s nothing stopping EU passport holders from going in the “all passports” queue.

I am in the process of getting my son two EU passports as well as his British one. Absolutely mad not to!

Why? He can go through and chill and OP can stick some headphones on and have some alone time in the queue with some music or a podcast. Perfect! Why make everyone queue when they don't have to?

I agree @SnipSnipMrBurgess.

If you are genuinely anxious about standing in a queue at border control, then I do think you'd benefit from some counselling /techniques to help, I mean that kindly.

As you say airports are busy and stressful places but at the point of border control, you're off the plane, you've done the worst bit, there's no risk of you splitting from them and missing the flight etc.

In most cases, you can see the EU queues even if you're not in it, so you should still have sight of them. And as has been pointed out, you can ask them to wait for you , although I'd definitely be asking them to go make themselves useful and grab the bags.

Your children are so fortunate to have an opportunity deprived to so many British young people. Please don't let your own anxiety cloud that. They are so very very lucky, especially given what you've said about your DH only visiting Ireland once in years

I don't understand why your DH was being evasive when the neighbour came round with the signed forms.Surely this has been discussed previously?

I would love it if my kids qualified for an EU passport. If they're teens, realistically you won't be travelling together as a family for that many more years anyway.

@Honeysucklelane but to get a passport, you normally have to be a citizen... so he is clearly Irish now if he wasn't already! So you should eventually be able to get one even if you can't right away.

And it's not as simple as saying "don't be anxious" but really, this is something you should work on, if you're not already. It must feel incredibly limiting to not be able to navigate an airport or other busy place on your own. It would frankly drive me insane if DH wasn't willing to be on his own (we have different citizenships so both have spent plenty of time in different queues... once I had to wait for him for 2 hours to get through immigration in my home country!).

You’re being daft. You’ll clear with them. DH holds an EU passport and I do not. We have never once been separated in 20 years. You’ll clear with them.

I will be honest, I am a bit agog that your only issue with this is that they get the "fast track" when you thought you couldnt, and not that your husband didnt discuss this with you before applying for a new passport for each of your children. Can't you see that that is fucking outrageous?!

Why are you not fuming that the first you heard about it was when the neighbour popped round, and if that hadnt happened, you wouldnt have known?! Was he ever planning on telling you before the next holiday when he scooted them all into the fast pass queue?!

Brexshit.

The gift that keeps on giving.

I get you OP.

I completely understand OP, I have the same anxiety in airport queues. And I'm sorry you have received such a lack of understanding here. Some people have zero empathy unfortunately! I am working on my anxiety, as I'm sure you are too but it is not easy to overcome.

Does your DH want to get the passports only to skip the queues? Are the queues really that bad? (I'm Irish so use the EU queues).

If he wants to get them to give more opportunities to the kids I totally understand that.

Hopefully you can talk it through with your husband and I hope he will be supportive if you tell him your concerns about queueing alone.

Are you not a grown adult? Do you not have a mobile phone so they can let you know where they new waiting? Are you not capable of doung anything by yourself!?

Absolutely this. I want my DC to get theirs ( they are eligible) and my DH.

It's a HUGE hassle to get an Italian passport, DP is entitled to one as his dad is Italian and has pretty much given up after over 2 years of legal wrangling

Yup, DH has an Irish passport and he was stuck with the rest of us coming back from Greece recently. The queue options weren't EU/ non EU it was Schengen/ non Schengen. We had 2 under 3 and a very grumpy pre teen so he wasn't taking the quick queue on his own anyway but he was really annoyed he didn't get the option to turn it down to help his family (& hopefully get us all through quicker)

Not heal it, but you'd tell them to wear a cast and a sling, not just leave it flopping about so it can't heal.
There are plenty of ways to deal with anxiety, throwing a strop that your kids have the advantage of an EU passport isn't one of them.

Because I’m anxious about being left in a queue on my own and then trying to find them afterwards.

Goodness me....

OP, travelling is a norm. Getting food, Just use feet, a bike, car, public transport, aeroplane etc.

The altenative is never leaving your house.

Flying is simple. Get to the airport in time, offload your luggage, keep an eye on the departure boards and time and chill out at the gate.

Two parents have to sign the Irish passport application for young people and someone has to witness them signing it. It’s not like the U.K. one where one parent can apply. I don’t understand how he would have thought he didn’t need to discuss it.

To dispense with the legal need for the other parent to sign, you need a court order. I didn’t have a spare £250 for this. Even thought my 3 kids have had an Irish passport previously, my ex has gone awol for four years. So he couldn’t countersign it anyway.

I am delighted to hear I can bring my kids through an EU family queue.