To think we should spend less time policing 16/17 year old social media use and more time worrying about young children spending their childhood on iPads?

[Frenchspainiard]

Government has apparently announced a social media curfew on 16 and 17 year olds, I’m unsure how this will be policed but it seems insane to me. They can join the military, they have jobs etc. I personally had a child and moved out at 16.

The real issue from what I see is why do we allow people to buy tablets for young children especially toddlers who then become inactive asocial zombies?

Tbh, I do think this is the problem: there’s a definite sense of unrealism from a number of posters as to what toddlers can actually do. Most activities that aren’t screen based will need some help. Yes, most will play with toys for a while but not for prolonged periods. Meaningful role play doesn’t tend to happen before the age of about three.

We don’t have loads of screen time on the whole but we do have some. One ‘block’ in the morning and one in the evening. Because in the morning I’m needing a while to wake up and in the evening I need to do dinner / shower the other one etc. As DD gets older that gets less important but I have to be realistic about what she can manage.

And do you have custody of them, or do they live with their parents?

You can probably see where I’m going here. Your home is a novelty. My DD was obsessed with a toy at a playgroup; played with it for ages. I was thrilled and bought an identical one. Sadly it did not have the same allure when in her own playroom!

I mean, you can allow a young child to use a tablet and not allow them to become a zombie. My 6yo has a tablet, it's technically mine but he uses it most, our TV is broken so he uses it to watch Netflix or Prime (YT is mostly banned except for very occasional use) or play games on cloud gaming, often with his dad or brother

He uses it in the car and at home, we wouldn't bring it into a restaurant or anywhere once we get to our destination.

He can zone out for an hour or so on the tablet, but he also does 2 sports clubs multiple times a week, and is incredibly active, fit, strong and healthy.

You don't have to just hand a tablet over and relinquish all control/allow your child to refuse other activities in favour of it.

Lazy? no. Special Need parent? yes.

My two are 17 & 20 now, they both have autism. The oldest is profoundly affected by his, so yes, when we go out, he brings his tablet and headphone. I expect him to sit quietly, to engage with us while eating his meal, (which i have to cut up for him and put in the correct order, and watch him eat), but once he is done eating, i let him settle with his tablet to play his games and watch his videos, it lets me eat my food and have a conversation with the other people with me.

DD also brings hers, but she is an artist, and will sit and draw once she is done eating, and engages with us about what she is doing, helps keep an eye on her brother, plays his games with him and chats to us.

this has always been so.

Just because a child is sitting in a coffee shop or a restaurant with a tablet, doesn't mean they're 'doom scrolling' or 'glued' to it 24/7. It's a snapshot of a short moment in their day... nor does it make the parent 'lazy'.

and when they become 18 they magically arent? Or are we going to police 18 year olds too?
By 17, a lot of kids have finished high school and are at uni or work. Id moved out of home by then.
It makes a lot more sense to educate them and show them how to use technology safely.

I'm talking about in their own homes.

Same as my own kids did as toddlers, wandered round playing with various toys. None of the played with for " ages" but about 6 different toys available so moved from one to the other and also played with wooden spoons, sets of keys etc

My phone is obviously far less child friendly that my DDs homes

Yeah same moved out at 16 and had a child of my own. Fuck off would anyone have been stopping me scrolling facebook at night once my child was asleep 😂 focus should be on very young children spending their formative years learning nothing except for how to watch Bluey and skibidi toilet two inches from their face

I still don't see why you wouldn't just go into settings and change the default. That is all you have to do.

Scrolling at midnight while your child is asleep works for you but not so much for 16/17 year olds who need to get up in the morning and go to school.

I have no problem with a small tweak to social media that might just get a few people to sleep better at night.

It lets people be super judgy, they'd be even judgier if the child dared to act like a young child in public. Also the thing noone seems to understand about toddlers is they all go through this late bedtime stage while they are dropping naps and parents still need to eat. And weather spoons is hardly some upper class establishment you wouldn't expect to take a child into for a quick bite. It's w weatherspoons, if the worst you hear is a bit of baby shark you're doing well

So when you’re visiting your grandchildren who are both under two, they just wander around playing with toys, just as your own children did?

I know it sounds like I’m being really argumentative and that’s not the intention. I just do think some very selective memories happen. People look back at some thirty years ago and insist their toddlers were doing certain things or behaving in a particular way (or would never have behaved in a particular way!) when actually they did, just the passage of time means we forget.

My own children aren’t bad at all when ur comes to playing fairly independently and ds (now aged five) can and will entertain himself for fairly prolonged periods in a way his on-the-cusp of turning three year old sister can’t yet. And certainly when they were under two they couldn’t; they needed adult guidance and help with a lot of things. And unfortunately as most people with children know attention and general mood wanes as the day goes on so while a lot of children will play happily unsupervised in the morning for a while they lose the ability to do so as they day goes on, often coinciding with when you need to make the dinner!

Yeah they do. I spent and hour and a half with my DD yesterday. We were sat in the garden Her 18 months old was playing on swing/ slide combo, then at water table then tykes car etc. in between coming up handing over a ball or collecting water bottle
We adults were sat at the table chatting, certainly not involved in his play

The play he likes adults involved is generally rough and tumble with his dad

Seeing as it was yesterday I've hardly forgotten

An hour and a half? And how many hours are in a day? Even with a couple of hours shaved off for nap time?

But it's still not " constant attention" which was the point. And it was an hour and a half while I was there. Hardly as though she's playing with him the rest of his waking time .

His nursery seem to manage without using screens also

@ToffeePennieABSOLUTELY this.

look up unplugscot. A website. But leads to a Scotland wide WhatsApp group.

it is terrifying. I sit with you, very restricted and controlled use. Now we have a government paid by Apple, who take a oops, reactive approach.

children age five being given email accounts

composite classes, meaning the 7 years old children’s iPads go home. Massive data sharing issues, children being exposed to inappropriate content.

reactive response, oh dear, that site has now been blocked.

As a parent, can I opt out?

yes, of course, if you home school.

So while spouting absolute garbage about teens, perhaps 🤔 they should look at what they are forcing on tiny children.

@Thechaseison71 i would agree toddlers don’t need 24/7 attention, but they do need 24/7 supervision and perhaps that’s the discrepancy in the posts here.

With my DD, who is three, the TV does go on first thing. She watches it for a bit but when her brother wakes up (around 7) generally stops. They have breakfast, they play a bit together, then it’s teeth and getting dressed, take DS to school and then DD and I go on to some sort of activity: playgroup or swimming or feed the ducks or a little soft play or something. Then it’s home for lunch and then it used to be nap time but now she doesn’t nap and so we do do the jigsaws and the playing with toys and the reading and the colouring but as the day goes on she does get tired and tetchy. Post school run for ds, the TV goes on around half four because honestly, by that time she isn’t wanting to engage with her toys or her colours or play dough. And I’m sure eighty years ago there would be an alternative but I’m not parenting in 1936; I’m parenting in 2026.

If we want toddlers off screens we need to support parents with toddlers but it’s easier to call them chavs I guess. I am no genius but I’m educated; I’m professional; the house is filled with books and toys and we get out of the house plenty as well. And some days parenting is still relentless for me.

Oh, and nursery is a totally different environment. It really can’t be compared to home, at all. It’s very structured, there are multiple staff to aid and assist, it’s literally set up for children and perhaps most key it doesn’t start until 730!

The thing is why should I or anybody else go to bed when you think we should? I've always been a night owl, since I was a child. My sister is the opposite so it wasn't terrible parenting. I wasn't asleep at that time at 16/17 and I'm not now I'm in my 40s, my body clock isn't wired that way. Why should you, the government or anyone tell me or my children when I should go to bed or what I should be doing? It's authoritarianism.

And? What's the 7.30 start got to do with anything. He starts at anyway. So gets up 7.15/30 dressed , quick milk and breakfast and 3 min drive. The " nursery " as such is 3 childminders who rented a space. Not like ones with seperate rooms per age etc.

I never said it wasn't 24 hour supervision ( or the hours when they are with you and awake)

I said you could get on with other things while keeping an eye on them..in reply to a poster that said they need 24hr attention

I am not sure where you got any of that from.
I couldn't care less what you do.

If you want your 16 year old to scroll social media all night just change the settings on the app.
I am just suggesting that because school is a daytime event and sleep is important that having a stricter default setting that can be changed in about 5 seconds is not a bad idea.

Sort of. I can tidy up a bit but I wouldn’t be able to do a deep clean, for instance. And it doesn’t only depend on the toddler, it depends on the time of day and the sort of mood they are in.

who said they would be on it at all hours, the conversation mentioned banning it completely.

Are we including TV... I don't think watching TV is a bad thing.
But other screens, you can absolutely parent without them, it's possible. Children aren't more difficult than they were in the past.

I don't know why you are quoting me.

Quote the person who said they would ban it completely.