To think we should spend less time policing 16/17 year old social media use and more time worrying about young children spending their childhood on iPads?

[Frenchspainiard]

Government has apparently announced a social media curfew on 16 and 17 year olds, I’m unsure how this will be policed but it seems insane to me. They can join the military, they have jobs etc. I personally had a child and moved out at 16.

The real issue from what I see is why do we allow people to buy tablets for young children especially toddlers who then become inactive asocial zombies?

Exactly!! Modern parenting frequently leans into "over-parenting" and pandering, fueled by cultural pressures to avoid causing psychological distress. While striving for emotionally attuned children, many parents inadvertently shield kids from necessary failures, leading to burnout and hindering resilience.

Somehow we managed to parent without iPads 20 years ago.

In answer to OP - both are important although the 16/17 year old curfew doesn't seem achievable to me.

A huge difference is children used to fit into their parents lives, whereas nowadays parenting revolves around the child.

so you do agree a bored toddler is not something that should be inflicted upon other people at the coffee shop or restaurant. now the problem is that we could just always stay at home with toddler but it means he misses out on holidays with cousins, family birthday meals etc because god forbid he gets a screen for 20 minutes during the time we are in a coffee shop or weatherspoons

Yes, because discipline was far harsher. That’s something else we simply won’t be returning to.

Yes at 16 I had a child and moved out at 17 I was waking up getting the train to college taking dc to nursery coming home when dc went to bed I’d do my chores and then chill on facebook for a little bit before bed. Friends at that age had jobs and some boys wanted to join the military, which you can at 16.

Just seems like targeting the wrong age group to me when there are four year olds starting school who can’t hold a pencil and they try to scroll the books like an iPad. How are you meant to learn any patience when your life every boring moment is spent on an iPad and I can’t imagine these kids physical health is amazing

Of course not, but if you had NEVER started giving your son screen time, he wouldn’t ask for it or miss it. I imagine you would’ve taken something else to entertain him. In a family setting, there would be plenty of people willing to engage with him. Toddlers like attention!!!

not every child is like that. these things from day one never worked on DC.

My point is, if there were no screens, you would’ve found something else. When it’s just you and your son in the coffee shop, that’s the ideal time to give him your undivided attention, as you aren’t being distracted by tasks that need doing straight away. Going out to family gatherings should be easier, as there’s more people to engage and entertain your son.

one problem with tablets is
it can make otherwise ok seeming kids appear to have autism.
So is exacerbating issues. Tv where there was 1 in the house and limited scheduling is very different.
Compromise/sharing. Boredom.
1980s Basically my dad watched tv constantly almost. But it was all football matches. Or 15/18 films etc. So us kids werent that interested. So went off to do other things. We had the tv 5pm-7pm maybe. And i hated a lot of kids tv.
So hugely different to kids watching what they want/play on a game what they want. They learn to tune out everything else.
At McD all the kids were on devices. Not one talking of any age.

My 2 have adhd. So sitting to eat was impossible and we very rarely ate out. In fact i couldnt see at 14m at nursery how they would keep her sat without a high chair.

Re the autism many kids do need more work on social cues/sharing/communication. Not putting self first. But a lot of that also links into why some of the NT kids are bullying so much - in person and online. Because they are used to not sharing, not being kind.
Boys have been addicted to gaming from the 80s but now its at even younger ages. I wouldnt be surprised if it doesnt reflect into why white WC boys do badly at school. As so many up very late gaming.

Koala- he does sound like that maybe autism? As 2 and knowing the alphabet etc is rare (but could be from the devices…). However if the kid is choosing the device it could be why they are behind with other skills.
Asd/adhd isnt from the devices but it is weakening the kids skills and certainly in uk the diagnosis process is crap. I know of at least 2-3 misdiagnosed. And maybe that actually isnt to do with devices. But it can be that their peers are struggling too

he gets my full dividend attention at home. we do give him attention like i keep saying we co-watch. for some reason even as a new born he could not be not attached to me. even at the baby reunion for our antenatal group 2 months old. some babies cried not at all, some once, human banshee koala boy managed 4 times to kick off in two hours lol. as soon as he was put in the high chair for the first time he whined and fussed until we admitted defeat and used it as the last resort as nothing was making him happy.

he was just drawn to it from very early. we are waiting for our two year review but we would not be overly surprised if he did test for something but as he is also a toddler it is very grey area too right now

If you had the food already for him to eat, would he still not sit in the high chair? I can understand him not wanting to sit there if he had to wait for food. Some children are happy to sit and wait (and be distracted by toys.)

As a society we shouldn’t go back to corporal punishment, but not enough children hear the word NO nowadays!!!!

This typically stems from a fear of sparking meltdowns, guilt over work-life balance, or a desire to be liked by their children.

It’s both, to be honest.

For teenagers currently, it’s curing addiction to screens and social media and for young children it’s the battle to not get them addicted to screens in the first place. Two things can be true at once.

There were parents at DDs primary who seemed desperate for their children to grow out of the playing stage as a proof of how grown up their kids were/how they were a better parent. Problem is if an 8 year old stops playing it leaves an awful lot of free time. These were the ones getting phones/tablets and getting rid of messy toys etc.
I wanted DD to keep playing as long as possible, I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t. Childhood is short.

I think there are a tiny minority of parents who don’t use the word no. I think many buy into gentle parenting and try to avoid it, as in ‘Emily, pat the book against the cushion’ rather than ‘Emily, stop hitting your brother with that book’ - some strategies in it are OK, many are not, many might work but take the patience of Job to implement and lead to that ‘gentle parent … gentle parent … gentle par - OH MY GOD WILL YOU JUST PUT ON YOUR SHOES / LEAVE YOUR BROTHER ALONE / EAT YOUR DINNER’ explosion.

But no one is convincing me that ‘Thomas, if you don’t stop trying to physically shove me out of the kitchen there will be no cake after dinner’ is anything like as effective as ‘Thomas if you do that again I’ll smack you.’

I hate smacking; absolutely hate it, and it doesn’t work in changing children’s behaviour but as an immediate thing it often did. We don’t have it now and are often helpless as a result!

It’s incredibly sad. Children are missing out on just being “a child.” Children are being rushed through childhood far too quickly, due to technology.

I think we should spend less time worrying about children spending time on their iPads and more time regulating the activities of tech companies and holding them to account.

Children would’ve behaved out of fear in the past. I don’t think it made parenting “easier.”
Parenting was “easier” because of “the hands off approach.” Children were widely allowed to leave the house, roam their neighborhoods, and make their own fun as long as they returned by dark or dinnertime

A young teenager was interviewed on the lunch time news and asked what she would do if unable to be scrolling on her phone. She replied she would just stare at the wall. Absolutely chilling. What happened to reading a book, drawing, painting, crafts? These kids are missing out on so much.

I think it made parenting easier insofar as there was an immediate consequence that children will have disliked at the very least (and been afraid of in most cases.) And there was no societal disapproval for using it, the opposite in fact.

Normal people can’t do anything to tackle Big Tech. But knowing the risks, they can mitigate them within their own families and households and choose to protect their children.

That is chilling!! Now we have more and more young children who are not being taught basic skills (toilet training, how to hold a pencil or a book, how to get dressed, eat with a knife and fork etc) before starting school. Excessive and unregulated screen time is altering children’s brains development.