To think we should spend less time policing 16/17 year old social media use and more time worrying about young children spending their childhood on iPads?

[Frenchspainiard]

Government has apparently announced a social media curfew on 16 and 17 year olds, I’m unsure how this will be policed but it seems insane to me. They can join the military, they have jobs etc. I personally had a child and moved out at 16.

The real issue from what I see is why do we allow people to buy tablets for young children especially toddlers who then become inactive asocial zombies?

Even then it’s sad, little kids should be looking around and learning about the world not sitting watching bullshit everywhere they go. People can keep saying it’s just a snapshot of their day and their kids aren’t on them all the time but if like me you grew up in a family friendly area with a park and not much traffic you’ll know how much fun we had playing out all day. Go walk around where you used to live and it’s so much quieter now.

It is so sad. Screen time should just be for when kids are bored, weather is bad etc so they can't play out. Not as a default activity.

I don't agree with eating in front of screens ever. Even on a long haul you switch the movie off to eat.

@ablondiebutagoodyADHD is a developmental difference in your brain, present since birth. You don’t catch it from an IPad.

That situation otherwise sounds thoroughly depressing.

Well a whole generation was experimented on with unfettered access to graphic porn etc at a young age. They were the collateral damage.
No doubt In 10 years time we'll see the damage of both parents and very young children on screens all the time. Maybe at some point legislation will be brought in to protect the next generation, who knows.

All I know is that my own child learnt all about the world around him by us talking on our walks, discussing what we saw etc. now we're just going to have a nation of zombies with zero interest in anything not on a screen, well we're pretty much there already.

Children are rarely allowed to get bored due to constant screen time. In the past, children would be allowed to,and that’s often when they would use their imagination.

Ironically, pioneers who invented modern screens and digital devices strictly limit their own children's technology use. They are acutely aware of how these products are engineered to be addictive and interfere with sleep, attention span, and emotional regulation.

There’s not a chance in hell I’ll ever be constantly engaged with my child (4). He’s currently playing by himself and has been for the last hour while I drink tea in bed. I don’t do the themed tuff tray (to quote a recent thread) kind of parenting you see on Instagram. I watched kids TV alone and my son often watches things he likes alone. Kids have their own little world they all share with each other, that’s their playground culture and it’s important they have it. But if anyone were to compare my child sometimes watching Thomas the Tank Engine by himself with owning an iPad, I just can’t get on board with that logic.

Do the government think that 16 and 17 year olds who have been given a curfew are going to vote for them when they bring in voting for 16 year olds?

Either treat them like children or treat them like adults.

I don’t know where you grew up in the 90s or where you live now that either of these scenarios exist.

What parties in the 90s lasted so long that there were 2 spare hours left at the end for a movie? Never encountered a movie at a birthday party in my life. The 90s parties we had were in children’s homes with balloons, music, cake, and pass the parcel.

As for the risk of playing out, only the traffic has changed. That is a real measurable risk now. The risk of being snatched is as it ever was- absolutely negligible. There is far more risk to young people from social media and grooming online than the almost non existent risk of being snatched.

As for play dates nowadays, again I don’t know where you stay but round here it involves the kids playing elsewhere in the house or in the garden so that parents can sit and chat in peace. Crisps, sandwiches, fruit and (gasp!) cartons of juice are put out and kids are shooed from the room the parents are talking in if they stray through.

It’s GOOD for kids to be bored!! It sparks creativity and imagination, builds resilience and independence. Having open, unscheduled time gives kids the space to plan, set their own goals, and make decisions about what they want to do next.

it depends on the age of the child. trust me a bored two year old is not pleasant for anyone in the surrounding area

Yes indeed.

I see so much of this on here (the ‘children should be bored’ mantra) and I do think perhaps some posters have forgotten that bored toddlers become destructive, whiny and generally very difficult to manage. They don’t go off and do incredible, creative things involving fantasy play; they just become steadily more and more impossible.

I have a five year old who is actually very creative, loves being outside, role plays brilliantly. He has very little screen time because he just isn’t all that interested. My three year old has considerably more because she isn’t at that level yet.

I have a 17 year old. I’m lucky she self manages her use very well, she leaves her phone at the other end of her room at night as she likes her sleep too much.
Her friends will continue to be on them most of the night.

I watched a lot of tv growing up, I watched a lot of things I shouldn’t have, I played out non stop and read every book I could get my hands on. I’ve never been strict with the tv with DD either. At least she only watched appropriate things and she didn’t have a tv in her room. We always took toys/pens and paper to meals.
The only time she spent too much time on a tablet was lockdown and extreme boredom.

Nothing will blow your mind than the number of children at Disneyworld in a pushchair with a tablet in their face.

@motherofakoalaboy and @howdidit
Toddler age is difficult, so you do something with them. Anything is better than giving them a screen. It’s incredibly sad and damaging. Go for a walk, the park, play with them in the house, read books, puzzles. find something. How did mothers manage in the past with a toddler and no technology?

the screen is not our usual default it’s just when out at costa or out for a meal. we try what we can to limit the screen interaction and always co-watch. unfortunately even as a six month/ one year old unless i want him whining and kicking off mid drink we needed to have something on for him. i tried books toys everything when in the high chair if out it’s the only entertainment he accepts. i tried having his toys dancing like the dancing fruits. nope was not good enough

I think a lot of Disney trips and such like are for the parents rather than the child

we do all that the coffee shop is just literally someone we pop into after the soft play or park because we are tired and need a drink. is that this difficult to imagine

But are adults much better?

Some posts you see on MN are just as bad, mindless, navel gazing babble.

We have guided our teens through phones and social media use, not banned it because what happens at 18? They need the skills of you like to use the internet as a tool, for fun, communication and information.

These bans move responsibility from the meta type companies for their addictive poisonous algorithms onto users.

How can people make naked photos of their teenage neighbour via AI? Where are the consequences?

This “van 16 yr olds after midnight” is just rearranging deckchairs. Misdirection at best.

Did you mean to quote me? Sorry just unsure which bit you’re responding to!

I will be honest though and say meals out with babies and young children just largely don’t happen here. But certainly most children are on phones when I have been in a restaurant or cafe.

I don’t know why I’m getting this finger wagging post! I do all those things and also stick the TV on because frankly I’m not going for a fucking walk in the woods at 6 am on a November morning! Nor am I getting a puzzle out when I am trying to cook the dinner!

It’s all about moderation, but the point with toddlers is they can’t just go off and do their own thing, even things like sticker books DD needs me to help her. And occasionally I need to get other shit done too 😅

exactly.

sorry i meant to quote the person that had tagged me 😅

If your child can’t sit in a coffee shop without a screen, then perhaps you wait until he’s older before taking them to a coffee shop.

What toddlers need and want is their parents undivided attention.

sometimes there is no choice but to take him on an errand as both me and dh are needed and koala boy can’t be left on his own. he gets pretty much attention all day long and even at the coffee shop we co-watch so still interacting with him to what is on the screen “what is pikachu doing? is he having an apple? that croissant is nice…” he is not at nursery either so it’s not like we can schedule errands and appointments around him

I find it difficult to imagine. My child was a pain in the ass in cafes as a toddler but we persevered. We took things to amuse him that weren’t screens and we built up how long we could spend in a cafe or restaurant gradually. There was a period of toddlerhood where we only did short cafe visits to build this up and never did longer meals out. Then when that phase passed we got back to building up time in restaurants too.

From 3 onwards it got easier and easier and now at nearly 5 we’ve had a couple of years of him being a dream eating out and he can happily pass the time in any cafe or restaurant.

Never once have we taken a phone out to pacify him.