To think we should spend less time policing 16/17 year old social media use and more time worrying about young children spending their childhood on iPads?

[Frenchspainiard]

Government has apparently announced a social media curfew on 16 and 17 year olds, I’m unsure how this will be policed but it seems insane to me. They can join the military, they have jobs etc. I personally had a child and moved out at 16.

The real issue from what I see is why do we allow people to buy tablets for young children especially toddlers who then become inactive asocial zombies?

@ChillingWithMySnowmies
Ok - one tiny example. Colouring builds fine motor skills and muscle strength in a child's hands. An iPad doesn't. Ask any teacher and they will say that children are starting in reception with poor gross and fine motor skills and weak core strength.

An iPad is just a tool and the result depends entirely on how you use it. DD likes watching art and crafts video and would, of course, try to replicate the things she sees. She creates elaborate paper squishies, 3D dollhouses out of paper, dress up dolls and all kinds of contraptions using paper and tape. Needless to say her motor skills are way beyond her age, and it wouldn't have been possible without the iPad as inspiration. I do not have the energy or creativity to help her make even 10% of the stuff that she likes doing.

I’m sure one day we will look back at the golden age of social media and see it as one of the most damaging things to happen to childhoods

I do think tablets and phones are an absolute menace for young children, but I also think if we’re actually going to realistically stop this then we need to have a look at what we’re willing to do as a society.

Because parenting is REALLY fucking hard, and I’m not doing it in a tiny flat, or having to use public transport, or having limited funds as to how to spend the day. And it’s still really hard.

Traffic would not be the issue where I grew up. Homes with a park in the middle, perfect for children to play. 15-20 years ago when I was a kid it was permanently rammed with kids playing from sunrise until sundown. Now when I walk by its crickets no one there.

I think we demonise screens too much and think kids are mindlessly scrolling videos on their tablets - I hate YouTube shorts for this very reason. Some of the amazing creative stuff my children do on their screens is phenomenal though.

They draw, code, create whole worlds from their imagination. They read, do maths, watch science videos on screens too. Banning screens isn't the answer, getting rid of the doom scrolling and auto play video is though.

I agree with the poster who was saying in the 90s we watched TV, it's just another type of screen. There is so much good to come from tech we just need to harness that creativity.

@User867536
There are exceptions of course and your dd is one of them.
This is a report from the Guardian in 2025.
https://www.theguardian.com/education/2025/jan/30/some-children-starting-school-unable-to-climb-staircase-finds-england-and-wales-teacher-survey

depending on the age of the child it might be the only way for parents to be able to get through the meal. we tried screen free and my two year old would scream the house down if sat in a high chair for the meal. even with a screen it is a 15 minute shove food in at most. we tried screen free

Not ALL screen use is mindless scrolling videos though. We have a two year old and we own a kids kindle. On a recent ferry trip that was rough enough to be treacherous to walk around, but didn’t have tray tables for colouring or magna-tiles or the little jigsaws we carry for him, we cracked it out (we wouldn’t usually but carry it when travelling for just such a situation. It’s never used at home or anywhere other than travelling).

He sat on my lap and ‘coloured’ on an app, played a matching puzzle, and a counting game and whack-a-mole type game, but he played them with me. I was fully engaged with him the whole time, and it kept him still and quiet when other options to do so were limited.

A screen doesn’t always equal parents ignoring a toddler while they mindlessly scroll / watch.

On the outbound journey the sailing was calm so he walked circles of the ferry and looked at things and talked about what we could see with me & DH tagging in and out with him.

Well not to put too fine a point on it but 16/17 year olds can be radicalized online. Like Axel radakubana or those kids who killed Brianna Ghey. Or the massive uptick in teenage boys going to trial for serious sexual offenses against girls. That's why the focus on them. For public protection.

But yes giving under 5s tablets and phones is madness.

A screen doesn’t always equal parents ignoring a toddler while they mindlessly scroll / watch.
It usually does to be fair.

Very different. Colouring books aren't addictive for a start

Does your child have severe additional needs? That is the only excuse I can imagine for this.

It’s not either/or though, is it? My DD has often told me some awful things boys said to her at school that were straight out of Andrew Tate’s mouth, conspiracy theories, pornographic images, religious prophesy nonsense. I’m not saying they’ll never look, because they will, but if they can be held off it for a few years a bit of maturity, critical thinking, and less need to fit in, might reduce the intensity of it a bit.

I was sat in a Wetherspoons garden, and the people on the table next to us were chatting away. Sat on the grass was a baby old enough to sit up... sat in front an iPad. The adults were totally ignoring them.

The people in the Coco Wyo groups on FB say otherwise 😆

I think the ban on social media for under 16s doesn’t go far enough. Too many people exploit their own children by using them as content on social media while they’re too young to consent or understand the consequences of it, but this has not. been addressed. I’m so glad my children aren’t teenagers now, because some of the things in social media, especially TikTok, are absolutely disgusting and it needs far more regulation.

And wrt joining the military at 16 you can’t do that unless your parents give their consent. DS1 wanted to. I absolutely refused to sign the papers as did DH. He asked once, was told no, and that was the end of it. He went back to school and joined when he was allowed to sign himself.

DGS is 2.5. He doesn’t have screen time. He doesn’t know what an iPad is, he thinks a phone is for ringing Granny and Papa because we don’t live nearby. He’s allowed to watch 20mins of tv, once a week when the weather is bad and that’s a choice between David Attenborough or an adaptation of a Julia Donaldson book. He can sit and entertain himself, his speech is better than a lot of reception aged children. He loves books, they’re his absolute favourite thing. When he’s taken out to eat, they take some little cars, or toy animals or his Magnadoodle and chat to him. He doesn’t need an iPad or a screen.

at two years old he is too young to be tested properly. he does have very very poor emotional regulation when it comes to transitioning or being not allowed to do exactly what he wants to do. brushing his teeth and getting him dressed is a two person job. he is brilliant in some ways he is only two and knows his alphabet by name and phonetics, has mastered the mystery word spelling game on his leapfrog laptop, he knows upper and lower case letters, he has even started writing some letters. but in other areas it really is such a struggle with him. transition, social behaviour and interpersonal speech he is often 3-6 months behind

I've not idea what you are on about tbh

Sorry, Coco Wyo is a particular brand of colouring book. Bold, cute and comfy style. Very popular. Some people spend serious money on the books and pens etc.

Looked them up. Learned something new today lol

Agree with this.

I would also add that the downsides for adults outweighs the upsides.

Totally agree with you Op. Many parents are very defensive about their own screen addiction and the same addiction in their children, however. iPads and YouTube etc are dreadful for young children’s brains. There is evidence of the detrimental effects of screens on the cognition of children, particularly the short form, highly stimulating brain rot. We are producing a generation of children that don’t how to self regulate, be bored, behave properly or think. But yeah, you’ll prob get some very defensive replies on here.

My 9 year old has a tablet. She's had it for years, one of the kids fire tablets. She mainly uses it for long car journeys and sometimes at home. She also spends a lot of time drawing and playing and making up stories. She has the best imagination I have ever seen, always has. When she was a toddler, she was constantly role playing with her toys. She has made her own anime style stories and enjoys nothing more than drawing the characters and making up stories involving them. When we go out to eat she usually takes a notebook to draw on. It is possible to let children have tablets and them still heavily engage in other creative activities.

Can’t you just do both? Not sure why it needs to be either or?