AIBU to ask whether you own a Bible?

[BeanQuisine]

Just idle curiosity, really.

We often hear right-wingers insisting "This is a Christian country", whether we're in UK, Oz or the US etc.

So I'm wondering how many of us actually own Bibles, and whether we ever read them. I did read assorted bits of it in my youth, but don't currently own a Bible.

YABU: Whether Mumsnetters own Bibles or not is none of your business.

YANBU: It's a vaguely interesting question.

Lots of people are interested in Stonehenge, aren't they?

Watch any movie/doco about Britain that has a cheesy intro with shots of "British things" and it'll have the houses of parliament, the Queen, a red postbox and Stonehenge...

No. I have religious scripture app on my phone, a daily prayer.

Enjoyment is subjective. I've been enthusing to you - trying to convey in words - why the Bible in general, and The Children's Bible in particular, are interesting to me. If you don't fancy them, that's not a problem for anyone - I was simply trying to answer a question.

I too like 'engaging, descriptive ....stories' as you describe. But the Bible isn't a novel - you know as well as I do that it's a somewhat random compilation of ancient texts written over a long period in different places, by different authors for a variety of purposes. There's a lot we don't know about it. It's a repository of history, myth, religious law, poetry, narrative, national foundation myth etc etc. and not to be read as simply factual. No-one is suggesting that. To me, this makes it more, rather than less, interesting.

To really engage with all these questions you need to know several ancient languages and I only know O level Latin, so that's not going to help. But wow - I wish I could read the original texts.

I'm beginning to picture you in a Puritan hat with a scowl on your face. Have you no sense of humour?

And your comment about Shakespeare is very rude - I was just responding to your diktat that 'Shakespeare isn't funny'.

These might be your opinions, Master B, but they're not objective truth. Other people see things differently.

And frankly, those other people probably find a lot more to enjoy in life than you do, from the bad-tempered, dismissive and narrow-minded things you say in your posts!

Lighten up, fgs.

I don’t own a Bible, a Koran, a Tanakh or any other religious book. I’m not in any way religious, I don’t pray and I couldn’t care less about what is written in them, so I have no need for them.

I own one, it was given to me as a school prize 40+ years ago. I’ve never read it.

Yes, having just one god was very unusual - the nearest to that was Zoroastrianism. The Jews started to have religious books very early, as I said above, around the time of the Babylonian captivity of the more powerful members of society in 597 to 457 (ish).

The other remarkable thing is that god could be everywhere - with the people in exile, returning with them, in contrast to gods associated with physical locations - springs, rivers, mountains.

That's really interesting. And also - no images of the god were allowed - all strange concepts then, I guess.

I know that the Egyptian pharoah Akhenaten suddenly decreed that the official religion would be monotheistic - worshipping the Aten, or sun disc - but that idea didn't last. I should imagine it was an incredibly radical and disruptive move in pantheistic, conservative Egypt at that time.

I direct you to Elijah and the Prophets of Baal for entertainment! One of the funniest things in the Bible imo. It's written about in 1 Kings chapter 18. Or the tale of Balaam and the donkey in Numbers 22.

As for special effects, check out the book of Revelation (ch 8 onwards) or Ezekiel's visions of angels (Ezekiel Ch 1), the latter is one of my favourites.

I have a great sense of humour. Way better than Shakespeare's.

And this might be your funniest post yet ;)

We were given one when we got married. There’s also a family bible and a really old book of common prayer at my Mum’s house.

Empire podcast did a good mini series on that recently.

But do not, on any account, read Ezekiel 23:20-21. Speaking of donkeys.

I am a lapsed Catholic and I have several. My favourite is a tiny pocket bible bound in Connemara marble that used to belong to my granny. I have a little leather bound Gideon bible that was handed out to us all in school. I also have a huge leather bound bible with massive brass clasps full of beautiful illustrations that I bought in a second hand shop many years ago, because it was so beautiful.

Yes but I can’t say I open it regularly, usually only when I am looking for a particular verse for a family service (like weddings, funerals etc).

It's the way I tell 'em.

Not that I know of, well certainly not mine. I’ve never owned one, as I’ve been an atheist forever.

Didn’t go down well when I was at Primary and Junior School all those years ago, was told I was disgusting by the teachers.

One of the funniest things in the Bible is quite a low bar.

It's not Four Candles, is it?

We have 2. One is mine from when I was confirmed, signed by a bishop (?) and the other was a gift for when my son was christened. I haven't looked at either in yrs.

I do have some bible story books from when I was teaching thing that our kids have looked at.

Always been one of my favourite passages.
Along with 1 Kings 14:10 in the King James translation.
And of course Proverbs 25:24 for which I'd recommend the Good News Bible.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Yes. I own a couple of bibles, again from childhood.

I think Jonah is funny, him going around Jerusalem preaching about God, then God showing up and telling him the gig is too easy and he should head off to the north east and preach in Nineveh and Jonah responding by turning south west and hopping on a boat for Spain, then preaching to the sailors who all convert, but then chuck him overboard when God indicates his displeasure, then getting eaten by a sea monster that suffers horrible indigestion and barfs him up again . . . .

Great fun all round.

Is cruelty to donkeys involved?

I can't resist checking this now you mention it but I hope it's not going to upset a vegetarian😮

I inherited my fathers communion bible but it is in a box in the loft as I don’t want that in my home.