AIBU to set a summer schedule for my kids this summer holidays?

[livingthroughchaossince2010]

I have 5 children, the oldest is 16, the youngest is 5. With the summer holidays coming up I realised that I don't have to have summer be as stressful as possible! We are going abroad for 2 weeks but we are home for the other 4 weeks. And every year I lose my mind during the summer holidays. All 5 kids being home for 6 weeks is a recipe for absolute disaster! So I am trying to set a schedule this year, hoping for the best. The schedule is:

Everyday: Everyone is awake by 9am, chores whilst breakfast is being made, clean up after breakfast, 30 minutes of school work to avoid the school slide over the summer, lunch, every evening one of the kids helps cook dinner, dinner, give the house a quick tidy, then for the younger kids it's bath then reading then bed at 9:30pm
Monday: Creative Monday - Build something, do some arts and crafts, be creative
Tuesday: Trip Tuesday - Go on a trip to the zoo, aquarium, a day trip, beach day
Wednesday: Water Wednesday - Go to the swimming pool, a splash park, see if there is any water parks, maybe turn the garden into a mini water park - if its raining then we change the plans of course
Thursday: Thinking Thursday - Library every week then we go to a museum, historical location or we go to an event that is encouraging learning
Friday: Friday fun day - Bowling, Mini golf, cinema, theatre and then we have a family movie night at home that evening
Saturday: Relax - We have no plans!
Sunday: Sunday Reset day - clean the house to have a nice clean house for the week ahead, my DH and I will plan for the week ahead and meal plan, family takeaway night

The teenagers obviously don't have to follow the day to day schedule. They have to be up by 9am, do chores and do their school work but they don't have to come with us to every location we go to during the week. This schedule is more for the younger kids benefit!

I told another mum my plans earlier this morning, she thought I was bloody mental for trying to schedule the summer holidays! Apparently the summer holidays are for relaxing and no plans but every year I go insane and this feels like an efficient way to solve the yearly summer holidays stress! My kids thrive when they have a routine.

Am I unreasonable for setting a summer schedule this summer?

Haha, I think some people don't understand that chores kind of need to be done at a certain time to keep the household running or otherwise the house would be a mess! And doing the chores at night isn't practical because everybody's tired after a long day.
I'm shocked people are upset about the 9am part of this schedule. 9am sounds like a lie-in in this house where my teens are up at 6:30am everyday for school usually

We also did audiobooks later in the day while playing with stickers or whatever. The lockdown days were long! Hetty Feather - that sort of thing.

Could you involve the children in the making of the schedule so everyone feels part of it. Might face less pushback.
As a teenager I needed my long lay ins to cope with life. I'd not appreciate getting up at 9am when I didn't need to. That doesn't mean they can't contribute to family life but I think you need to compromise with them. I often find by week two we all settle into a natural rhythm and it is less stressful.

For a 5 year old, a schedule is fine.

for all, chores are fine.

BUT, I would say it’s verging on cruel to force a 16 year old (who must have just done GCSEs?) to get up at 9am, do half an hour work, and immediately do chores.

my girls worked super hard for their GCSEs the whole of year 11. I made ZERO demands of them that summer holiday. Wanna wake up at 3pm? You go for it darling, you’ve earned it. Wanna wear your pants and eat crisps all day? Knock yourself out.

So if your teenager has been waking early each day already why the need to set it all in stone as some sort of summer routine? Why not just let him continue to wake up as he wishes and then if he wants a day where he doesn't get up until lunch time he has the choice.

The lack of choice or opportunity to be spontaneous would drive me mad.

If they're used to getting up for chores in the morning anyway then seems alright, though I'd maybe push it back to 10am, or at least on weekends.

I've had summers with my oldest that have been more on the regimented side, with summer school every morning but afternoons and evenings were free for her to do what she liked unless we were having a day out or she wanted to do something with me. Now she's a teenager her time is her own because she has so little of it left to herself (we were abroad for 4 weeks so she had to fit in with timetables then, and she just finished two weeks full time summer job work, and she has camp soon)

My youngest has to do some school work in the mornings before he can do anything else, but after that he's free to play as he wants or go visit friends (except this week, as he's grounded) as I have to work so can't do things with him anyway, makes me miss those summers with DD when we could do so much together.

It sounds like organised fun. My eldest would have just stayed in her room and the youngest would have run away from home if I tried to inflict this on them.

16 year old would not be doing work! He has woken up by 9am everyday the past month since hid GCSEs, he used to wake up at 5:30am every morning to get to school to study before exams! And before GCSEs he would wake up at 6:30am to get to school on time anyways. So 9am is a lie-in for him. But no he doesn't have any work to do.

My eldest child was up before 6 am all school year due to distance from her school. She gets up early now if she’s working.

Otherwise she gets up when she feels like it - some days that’s about 10, others it’s a good bit later.

None of mine sleep into the pm & I wouldn’t be delighted if they did but come on, making a 16 yo be up at 9 am for chores & school work on their holidays is really unreasonable.

Gosh just let them enjoy the holidays carefree- the rest of the year is stressful enough

Fuck me. Chill out 😂.
I'm all about routine but summer holidays are meant to be fun.
9am wakeup and 30 minutes of school work a day?!

😂😂 Chores at night isn’t practical because everyone’s tired after a long day.

Yes! The LONG DAY you have created!

This is all about you. Your convenience. Keeping yourself ‘sane’. How YOU want things to be.

You have five little human beings involved here, and they all deserve a say. And a rest!

So we do a variation of this as my dc is autistic and works better with a routine. So we will do-
Monday - visit grandparents
Tuesday - day out
Wednesday- sports club
thursday - childcare
Friday - childcare

so each week mom/tues change but I know the plan for each week. Dc get up around 7 and I usually let them have some gaming time in the morning and we go out late morning or after lunch.

I can understand it must require more structure to have that many people in one house, but where the 9am is unfair on your 16 year old, is that I think that would be extremely unlikely that that is what any of his friends would be doing. He will have till noon every day twiddling his thumbs whilst all his friends are still asleep.

It would be far to regimented for me and I also have a large family- my teens get up when they’re ready and help with chores when they’re up, but you seems sure it is best op so not sure why you’ve posted

Ah yes, them having chores and doing 30 minutes of school work is absolutely draining. No, they're tired because my teenagers go hang out with their friends all day long, my younger kids run around the house or the garden until theu are ready to fall asleep. Trust me, they aren't tired because of chores and 30 minutes of school work

I do think it’s fine to expect some help around the house - mine help me too, although on an ad hoc basis (ie - I grab the nearest dc if I need help with something) rather than set things. Teens in particular are so sleep deprived during the school term - I let mine sleep as much as they want during the holidays.

I’m not just referring to the first hour of your days. I’m talking about all the rest of the structure in your schedule. It’s beyond cruel to over-schedule children like this.

Why on earth would you make kids do 30 minutes schoolwork a day during the summer holidays?!!

It will not be something they remember fondly.

Reading every day absolutely, but it doesnt need to be scheduled in!

Doing chores is fine but being rigid in when exactly they have to happen each day on holiday otherwise the whole house apparently falls apart is a bit much.

Why do they have to get up at 9?! They are on their holiday from school.

You know we all have dc and functional households too? With teens who do chores?

I'm all for a loose routine to stop the constant "what are we doing today" questions and expectations. But blimey, it sounds like an army training camp round yours 😂

Yes your teens get up at 6.30am for school, presumably that's because they have to or they'll be late. Teens are known for not getting as much sleep as they need during term time as their best quality sleep is often mid-late morning. The holidays are when teens get to finally catch up on the essential rest and sleep that they have been missing during term time.

The household isn't going to fall apart if nobody empties the dishwasher until lunchtime.

I like the idea of the themed days but I think the rest of it is too structured. We have 9 weeks of summer holidays here and all of us are ready for a break from routine by the time summer holidays get here. I know you say they're up before 9 anyway but surely as teens they're capable of choosing themselves what time they get up?

Sounds awful especially for the teens. My dd14 would not be happy being woke before 9 and then having to do schoolwork. Summer is for chilling.