Would you go away if DC was unwell?

[LostittoBostik]

I’ve had a rough year with DC being unwell (nothing serious, just lots of things) and I sort of knew this would happen.

have one night away planned mid week with friends. It’s been in the diary for over six months.

of course one child has woken up with a raging fever and there has been tonsillitis going round her class so I don’t think it’s going to be 24 hour thing (but we’ll see)

obviouslt her dad will be here but would you go anyway in that situation? In all honestly their dad is dismissive of illness in general and tbh I know I’d just be worrying all the time so tempted to cancel but I’m so frustrated as I get so little time away and to decompress. Life is just endless work and childcare and I was really looking forward to 36 hours of total me time

tbh either way it’s ruined now anyway as I won’t relax

I’m so fucked off

Personally I would also go, but my husband would be absolutely fine. This actually happened and tbh I still went.

No, but then my ds' dad left him with an unwashed dog bite and a raging infection for four days, so I know he's an idiot who can't be trusted.

Your trip will be pointless if all you do is worry. Cancel, save yourself the stress and reorganise at another time.

Yes because DH is there

Go! She has 2 parents!

I’d see how she is at the last minute and make the decision then. I’d trust my DH though to look after her.

I think as it's only one night I think you should go. If it was for longer then that would be different.
I do that you need to have a serious discussion with your H though. Because you should be able to rely on him to step up in situations like this.

I’m astounded at these replies, your not leaving her with the local crack head are you? You did say she will be cared for by her father? Unless some massive drip feed why is he not capable of looking after his child who is a bit off colour?

It’s one night? Yeah I’d still go but my husband would be fine looking after our child so I wouldn’t need to worry at all. In fact, he’d insist I go just like I’ve insisted he go when we’ve been in a similar situation.

Yes, I do. It's only 36 hours. I would feel differently (perhaps) if it's a week, but you deserve some time off. Its not as if the child is in danger. About time her father stepped up. Don't be a martyr and enjoy your time away.

Yes, of course. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I mean I wouldn’t leave her home alone, but obviously with another parent. I’ve been away when ds had a vomiting bug a few times and Dh was away at a wedding for a week when dd had chickenpox. It’s just one of those things. She has 2 parents and the one at home has to get on with it. The only exception would be if Dh had a job interview or was presenting at a work conference or something that truly could not be missed. If we couldn’t find someone to stay with them for those few hours, I would need to rearrange my travel to be there on that day.

Hear hear! Honestly, this site astonishes me sometimes. Wall to wall complaints about how utterly useless men are, but then these women are utter martyrs who won't advocate for themselves or take any time off. It's batshit.

I was always a worrier when my kids were ill, so I’d probably have cancelled tbh. But my husband is just as capable of looking after them as I am.

I would go and DH would be encouraging me to. He would be perfectly capable of managing it

Actually last time I was away, ds came down with a vomiting bug (while away at cubs camp an hour from home at 3am). About 7 of the 10 of them all started vomiting during the night. Bless the leader. 🙈 Dh went to collect him at 3am and his vomit soaked sleeping bag. And Dh was actually like, you don’t want to get sick too (I’m immunocompromised), do you want to book to stay away an extra night? I nearly did. Though by the end of my conference, I was exhausted and just wanted to come home, vomit pools or not.

I would go. DH is more than capable. I can, in fact, think of an occasion when we were all due to travel so that DM could have the DC and DH and I go to a party and DS2 got a vomiting virus. I took DS1 to DM and went on to the party solo (it was my friend). Stayed there, went to a museum with DS1 and DM then came home. Of course I checked in but DS2 and DH had spent the time watching cartoons.

Yes go. It’s good for all of you to go. Tell your DH he needs to be more aware and kinder, he’s never ever going to be a person for you to rely on if you just jump back in and ‘rescue’ him. Tell your kid they will manage and Daddy has their back and loves them. It’s good for your child to get on with things and be flexible.

and it’s good for you to learn you’re not the only one who can do things and good for you to go enjoy yourself.

I think you should go.
Shes ill whether you go or not. DH can manage. If she’s mildly unwell then it doesn’t matter if DH is “dismissive “. It won’t do her any harm if she’s not being pandered to. If she’s too ill to do normal activities, that will become clear to DH. Leave sufficient medicine, show her how to gargle with salt, and be on your way.
You might worry about her, but you being at home won’t change anything, your presence isn’t going to cure her nor not. Her father will make sure she’s fed and watered.
It is OK to put yourself first. Your need for rest and relaxation is important. She’s not seriously ill.
Go and enjoy yourself. And don’t keep calling from a distance, let DH get on with it. Limit yourself to a couple of calls a day. DH will let you know if there is a real emergency. He will manage fine, as will DD.

I'd go away if I was leaving my dc with a caring parent or grandparent.

I had to leave my sick dc lots of times to go to work, I'd have lost my job otherwise.

Obviously I wouldn't have done if I was worried about the care they would get.

Completely agree. Wouldn’t even be a discussion in our house. I’d be going and DH would just be a parent as he is every day.

I would go. She’s with her dad.

I would probably still go if it’s only an overnight thing, two nights away I might have cancelled but for one night I think I’d still go. I’d feel ill leaving them, but I’ve found it soon subsides once I’m out and about.

Yes I would go, your DH is there.

I’m sure he is just as capable as giving pain relief as you, checking the temperature and keeping your child as hydrated as you are?

I would obviously be worried in a typical mum-way and would obviously be checking in, but if it was something I was really looking forward to with my friends and it was a really rare occurrence (which it sounds like it is for you) then I wouldn’t miss it when the other parent is there. It would be different if she was in hospital and hooked up to IV fluids and IV antibiotics, but she isn’t. Plus it’s only one night.

You’ll obviously be thinking of her but unless you are going to drip feed that her dad is useless and doesn’t know how to parent then I would just give her a big kiss and a cuddle, make sure the paracetamol/ibuprofen stash is stocked up, and then go and enjoy your night with your friends.

DH is encouraging me, I should probably add that.

Yes i’m not deciding yet. She seems a bit better this afternoon. Might insist on DH keeping her off tomorrow though as he has a tendency to just push them into school unless they’re literally collapsing. I feel like he doesn’t recognise illness/signs of change or deteriorating in them like I do. But I can call to check in I guess

I would go. She's with her dad, she'll be fine.