No party bag for DS

[girlmummy25]

My SIL done a small party for my 10 year old niece which my DD age 7 and DS age 3.5 (nearly 4) went to. There was 11 kids there.
When everybody was leaving her DD handed out the party bags and there was not enough for my DD and DS.
When I asked her if my kids were meant to have one she said ‘oh your DD should of had one but I think another kid has took it’ but nothing about my DS as she didnt get him one!!
My DS was really crying and my DD was on the verge of tears as all the other kids were opening their party bags infront of them.
I was so angry I left (I was meant to be staying for a bit longer as it was at my MIL & FILs house), as I was leaving her partner was rummaging around and managed to chuck a few sweets in 2 bags and gave them to my kids.
ok so maybe my DD not having one was an honest mistake from someone else taking it but to not even get my DS one, I was fuming.
also why on earth was she 2 party bags short in the first place when she knew exactly who was coming - there was no unexpected guests.
some may say oh its because DS is a boy and younger but in my eyes that shouldnt matter.
AIBU by being so angry about this?

This.
You are raising them to be ungracious entitled brats!
They are both much younger than the birthday girl and inviting them especially your ds was very kind but as they say no good deed goes unpunished!

more understandable than the OP having a tantrum about it

Well, she’s modelling ‘If you don’t get what you want, it’s fine to throw yourself about screaming’.

I would be upset as well OP, simply because it would mean a lot to children and they would feel left out without understanding the error or seeing it through an adult lense.

Ignore the rude comments calling your children ungrateful or stating you are ridiculous.

This OP.

It wasn't ideal but things can go wrong with party organisation: I think she has been thinking about the 10 year old girls and wasn't bracketing your DS with them in her mind.

She ought to have thought of him, I agree, but I think it was probably innocent enough. After all, she let him come along so she isn't looking to snub him. Don't let it become a big deal.

Oh, so that makes it OK then - to upset a little boy and make him feel left out?

Jesus, these things happen.

He’ll live.

Well, his mother’s behaviour has almost certainly ensured he’ll be left out altogether in future.

Yes it does. Boys and men don’t trump everyone else

Youneed to grow up before your kids are teenagers as they really don’t need a drama queen for a mum
Did you REALLY get ‘so angry’over a couple of party bags??
Way to make sure your kids aren’t invited to their next party family or not.

?

Probably for the best if they're too chaotic to organise enough party bags. Its not exactly hard. They might forget to provide enough party meals next time too. Or not book enough spaces

I always did a few spare party bags and special ones for any siblings I had agreed to. More importantly, as my kids were obsessed with party bags - I kept a couple of filled bags hidden in the glove compartment.

Didn't want to face a twin melt down on the way home. Only had to use them once when the parents had two boxes of part bags and legt one of them at home. Now they are late teens, they laugh when I tell them how obsessed they were with party bags.

You were fuming?
So angry, you left.

Are you always this dramatic?
I suggest you get a grip.

"Who's taking a 3yo to a 10yo birthday party in the first place?"
It's family, fgs. 🤦‍♀️Neither here, nor there.

It kind of is relevant, since OP is losing her shit over a missing party bag. He was there because he's family. At a pre-teen's party. It's too much to be 'so angry'.

Oh purleese ...

She had obviously made up party bags for 10 year old girls and not thought to do one for the toddler cousin. Probably didn't expect them to be opened at the house either. So it's been a mistake rather than a deliberate insult. It would have been a good opportunity to distract your DC and promise them a treat on the way home.

So you’d rather him be given a bag of unsuitable, potentially dangerous items, instead of distracting and diverting him like a normal parent?

This. Surely every host makes sure there are enough plus maybe a spare?

That was really poor of her. As OP says, if they were being given out at the door it wouldn’t have been so obvious, but to give them out while the kids are all still there and have one it two children holding nothing is bloody awful. I wouldn’t normally kick off in a situation like that, but I would have pointedly and loudly asked, SIL, where are my DCs’ party bags?

And I would have got my DC out of there asap and expect DH to explain to his DP why we were leaving.

She should have done something for every child who was there, bar babies. You don’t leave a three year old out, you just adapt the contents.

For a party at nursery, I once had to make up party bags for several children aged three and four and one child aged one. I gave the one-year-old a different party bag from the others which contained a sensory ball, another small toy suitable for his age and some chocolate buttons. It wasn't difficult!