What's something that men think is impressive, but really isn't?

[worldshottestmom]

Beep beep, come on traffic

Speaking of traffic, mine is when men (or boys, rather) rev their bloody engines on their cars that sound like they're about to explode. No, please, don't speed off, open the boot to your clapped out Corsa, I want to get in.

Also since going back to the gym, forgot how awful the men are there for showing off. There's this one in particular at my gym and idk if he's just mentally deranged or what but anytime he does any exercise he roars like a buffoon and I feel my vagina drying up a little more each time. It is so unnecessary. He will be easing his way through bicep curls, pretty much screaming and grunting for each one. Also has a horrifically embarassing habit of punching his chest, twice, every so often.

Give me your opinions and stories; what is something that men do that they think is impressive, but really, really isn't...

make my Saturday evening ✨

Yerggh!

That and their souped up cars which are all noise and no action.

Playing a bit of guitar and singing, usually badly.

Their taste in films which they must press on you, “oh my god, you haven’t seen the godfather! It’s amazing, here, let’s watch it!” They think you lived under a rock and didn’t know of the film’s existence and don’t like it when you say of course you did, it’s just not your thing so you’ve never wanted to see it.

The Barbie movie had me howling for things like that, they got it bang on with the Kens.dh was less impressed as it was all the shit he did.

Hahaha god that's both tragic and hilarious. I have mosquito bites so can't relate but now I'm kinda glad

My most satisfying moment was when a group of lycra clad men wandered into a cafe we were in. They were so impressed with themselves that they were almost braying as they sat there in their padded lycra and cleated cycling shoes. The gobbiest one of them all tried to walk upstairs in his cleats . He slipped and slid all the way back down on his scrawny (but fortunately for him, padded) bum. We fell about laughing.

They've always got legs that look like an albino pepperami in a string vest.

WHY do we keep pushing the idea that sport is a "man" thing? or that boys do sport, and girls.. play with their dolls or do craft?

Strava is not a MAN thing FFS.

Sport is a not a male area, can we stop pushing us out of everything?
Peak mumsnet, men obsessed with the gym/ cycling/ running and women obsessed with dusting and laundry.

Oh you set me off thelightisdeofthemoon. That is funny!

I'll have a look, sounds like my kinda thread. All the performative nonsense people do irks me so much, im so glad im not the only one who finds other parents doing it annoying af

Their mothers.

Going off Mumsnet anyway.

A new starter at work called me bro on friday and half of me felt disgusted that he would even have the nerve but the other half of me felt secretly buzzing that I had been accepted by a young person, enough to be called bro. I'm just too hip. I'm down with the kids.

Burping. Or is that just my bil? Something a new born baby can do, but he wants everyone to admire how he's done it.

Speaking of traffic, mine is when men (or boys, rather) rev their bloody engines on their cars that sound like they're about to explode.
I asked my (then 18yo) ds what the appeal of doing that was, and he said "there is no appeal - from outside the car..." which made me smile.

A few years ago now but men on dating sites showing off their fishes they have caught, sorry guys but most girls don't want to sit on a muddy river bank all day while boring you does nothing but sit there being silent cos you don't want the fishes to go away definitely swipe left for me , what did attract me to my now partner was likes motorbikes, live music gigs and is actually intelligent and until retirement actually employed in a paid job

When they’re doing the OTT grunting and roaring in the gym I always make a little comment to myself along the lines of ‘Keep pushing, I can see the head! Take a breath and really bear down with the next contraction…’
Like they’d ever cope with childbirth 🙄

Watches and six packs.
Give me a man with a cheap Casio and a dadbod any day of the week!

Spot on. And all that theatrics about cycling clothes, I do triathlons and most of the clothes are meant to be functional, not fashionable.

God if this wasn't my ex. Never heard the end of his "banging omlettes". It's just eggs in a pan. It is eggs. In a pan. Ffs. They were shit too, don't know how he managed it

How about just a polite but not overly effusive "that's right!"?

As if to a toddler who's told you 2+2=4 or something, and you want to be encouraging but are also a bit busy with something else...

Their opinions.

Flexing their muscles.

Taking and posting a wired amount of selfies

Definitely cars. And I say that as a ‘car person’ myself. So many men view nice cars entirely in terms of image & status. They would never consider driving a Mazda or a Skoda, no matter how objectively good it is. But they would quite happily drive a Mercedes-Benz, despite it being objectively a piece of junk with a crappy 1.3 Renault engine. 🙄

God how did I forget this one. Equivalent to buying a dog and bragging, "look, I took him for a walk!" Every time you take them out. Jesus the embarrassment

I was immediately going to say 'their penis'. Men as a sex class seem inordinately impressed by their own penises. I've never found them all that interesting- useful and fun to play with on occasion, yes. But not that interesting.

Also- being a member of a yacht club. I was invited to a birthday lunch last year and was sat by a man who brayed non-stop about being a member of this club. Right at the end as we were leaving he said 'Oh i hope you enjoyed your special visit to our little club' and I just replied 'Oh, we are members too, actually'. It's honestly just not that special- not least when we all Live By The Actual Sea.

Anything they do in the kitchen. Toast, washing up, boiling kettle, heating up anything from a tin. All of it, more impressive than conducting the Berlin Philharmonic.

Tattoos. Some of the middle aged men I work with have them in lieu of a personality. The CEO got a full sleeve recently, and the tattoo love has trickled downwards.

This is one I will never understand. Probably more impressive that they found someone willing to let them ejaculate inside of them tbh