AIBU? Husband and England football

[mumlearningtorun]

Am i being unreasonable?

my husband has turned around this morning and decided he’s going out to watch the football tonight with his friends, and staying out as it’s quite a long taxi journey to where his friends live, he’s decided to stay at his parents in their spare room as that’s where all his mates still live.

this has been sprung onto me & I have actually been looking forward to watching another game together, it’s been exciting, celebrating together etc

now I’m on my own? I feel a bit disappointed and I’ve now got the ump.

AIBU?

5 hours before KO? That's really taking the Mick.

Yep! But it takes 1.5 hour to get there and his mum won’t let him go straight out 🫩 that’s a story for a different day

Hopefully won’t be a semi final for England

You're defo NOT being unreasonable!

I think yabu. You assumed you had his time, you hadn't actually made a plan together. Tell him to have fun and plan a date night to look forward to.

IMO if you were going to watch it and enjoy it with him then you can make it great fun alone too. Its one match. Please don't be that person who can't relish their own company.

I’d be upset too, OP.

It’s not that I can’t have fun on my own, but I like watching sports together, how boring cheering on my own ( hopefully!! ) and no one to make comments to. It’s dull 😂

What would anger me more is that he’s just assumed you’d look after the kids while he goes out, please tell me he at least asked or if he just thinks of you as the default parent?!

It is very mean of him. YANBU. There is a nice world cup thread on here. You could join in that for a bit of on-line company.

@GoodkneeBadKneeI think I’m ’triggered’ because my teenage dds are just starting to learn first hand about how selfish men/boys are/can be. I want better for them. The more women that have these ridiculously low bars and low expectations for men, and seem to think themselves so inferior that it’s fine for blokes to behave so selfishly, in a way that they would never do; the more the cycle continues. I’m triggered because I want all of our dds to expect more, and I want more men to start being decent partners. Like most of them, instead of a few.
this, objectively, is really shit behaviour. It is. It’s selfish.
of course it’s absolutely fine to have nights out with mates, but what shouldn’t be normalised, and sadly is for so many women, is that fathers can do whatever they want and dump the care work on the mum.

For goodness sake... just let the poor man watch the footy with his mates and stop being so controlling. It's one night. Everyone seems to think that when you have children men are not supposed to have a life anymore. I maybe coming from a different POV as my husband was in the RAF and I patented alone for much of my child's life. He went away for 3 weeks 2 weeks after I had an emergency ceasarian...I was stuck on an raf base in the middle of no where and couldn't drive.. no family to help..I just got on with it. You can't put your children to bed on your own for one night? Let the poor fella have a life. People don't seem to have any backbone nowadays

He's just thinking about himself and what he wants. Selfish but fairly standard. He will resent you if you make a fuss. Let it go but make sure u get what you want at a different time.
Men want to feel free so yeah don't make a big fuss. But make sure u get what u want too.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/world-cup-2026/5551650-fifa-world-cup-2026-discussion-and-watchalong-thread-part-5?page=24

DH was away with work this week for the Mexico game - was lovely being able to chat away with MNetters and watch the game though!

Come on over to mine, OP and keep my sulking partner company! I’m just about to head out to the pub (getting the drinks in early before the bar becomes impossible to get to at kick off time!) and he’s having to stay in because he’s on-call. Children are away camping with the in-laws, so he’ll be a solitary watcher too.

I’d be mighty annoyed if my partner just assumed that this was okay, though. I don’t believe that you necessarily need permission from your significant other, but I think it’s courteous to have a conversation about it that isn’t just “I’m doing this.”
DP and I usually approach it as “I’ve been invited to the pub tomorrow, have you got any plans on/were you thinking of doing anything? Do I need to check if mum can babysit?”

If I were you, once the children are settled for the night, I’d have a lovely cool shower, order my favourite takeaway, pour myself a drink (ice cold cider please), and join in on one of the World Cup threads on here.

I'd be a mixture of furious and devastated. If this is something you usually share to leave you alone without any discussion and stuck with his DC is appalling.

I'd be questioning everything if he did this to me. DP would prefer to watch with a crowd but he wouldn't dream of organising it without me.

Get the kids in bed order yourself a take away and enjoy! Let him crack on and be hungover tomorrow!

Is this really about football ,or are you just miffed.off that he has planned a last minute night out and now you have to deal with the kids alone?

If you a true football fan , you wouldn't care about watching it on your own. I am watching it alone and I am still really excited

So men should carry on as normal after having DC and women should just put up and shut up?

OP YANBU and don't forget he owes you a long night out while he stays at home and puts DC to bed.

This is the sort of stupid response that keeps women in such crap miserable relationships, being grateful for breadcrumbs. Worrying that they’re being ‘controlling’ when they expect their spouse to act like a decent person. Just reverse the situation if you can’t work it out.
so the op and her husband have 2 young children and were going to watch the football together tonight. How common do you think it would be for the op to have casually mentioned this morning she was off at 5pm to watch the footie with mates, she’ll see him tomorrow. Would you think if he wondered if that was ok ‘fgs, just let the poor woman watch the footie with her mates.’ It’s ingrained, subconscious internalised misogyny and it’s everywhere.

Live stream it with some friends maybe?

I'm not a football fan, but if you wanna stream it somewhere and make a voice chat you'll find some people happy to spend time and watch with you. I would!

One of my best friends is at a wedding today, the bride and groom are going to put the game on a big screen so people don't have to pick. (he told me he packed a tablet just incase)

People and football are wild

I have to agree that I'd not appreciate being told it was happening rather than consulted. We don't have kids but we have dogs, and neither of us would spring something like this in that way.

I wouldn't have an issue my husband spending time with his friends, regardless if it was watching football or not. What I would be annoyed about, is the fact it was sprung on me without warning or discussion. You have children, he's not a single man without responsibilities, and his priority should always be you and his children. Common courtesy and respect for your partner, tells you that you at least discuss it, rather than making assumptions.

Your husband is now disappearing out out 5 pm, when kick off isn't until 10 pm! Oh no, he should at the very least be helping with bedtime, considering he's leaving you on your own all evening, and won't be home until tomorrow (probably lunchtime!).

He's assumed you won't mind being on your own. He's assumed you are happy to solo parent the children all evening. He's assumed that coming home tomorrow at some point, leaving you to solo parent...is all acceptable without a discussion.

You need a conversation with your husband. You do need to tell him that out of basic manners, he should have discussed it with you. I'd be then making it clear that you will be having an evening and morning off at some point!

Oh. I was all ready to read another uptight thread, but actually, I completely get your point.

you were looking forward to it with him, and without prior conversation has decided that’s not happening any more.

Even if we hadn't planned to watch the game together, I'd be alarmed if he just sprung this on me without a discussion!! What if I had also made my own plans to go out and watch tonight's game with my friends or family and stay overnight, and the children would be left alone? Unless he has offered to take them with him?

I'd be sad too. Mine's been and got some beers for us to watch together. We don't normally disappear on a weekend without checking in with the other first.