Ex applied to deduct travel costs from child maintenance

[greentent86]

AIBU to be pissed, even though I know it’s technically allowed?

I live where I always have, with our child. I have never moved.

Ex lives a significant distance away now, his choice.

Has had sporadic involvement with our child since birth, now we have a court order that he has every other weekend.

Within days if the court order, he’s applied to CMS to vary the payment for “special expenses”… he’s claiming £70 a week in travel costs.

I do get a decent maintenance payment compared to many people, but a loss of over £300 a month is going to be very difficult. I work full time but my job isn’t well paid, and do all the day to day care of our child, pay for nursery etc.

Ex was financial controlling and harassed me over CMS for years, this all came out in court and was noted by the judge.

For what it’s worth, my ex is in a well paid job, has a house worth 7 figures, drives a large car worth 6 figures, has investment properties etc. he isn’t hard up.

I know there’s nothing I can do about it but AIBU to feel the system is really unfair on resident parents.

Except that none of this is based on anything OP has actually said. I agree there are two sides to every story but the variance in yours equates to the OP coming on MN and telling a pack of lies.

Spot on. If I had £1 for every thread I’ve read on MN where the OP has posted exactly this…………………

Under CMS rules he could claim both - I think OP said upthread somewhere that he already gets a reduction for overnights twice a month.

As someone who's husband has travel cost deductions (due to excessive distance requiring overnight stays and mother moved) the actual 'cost' is never what is deducted. It's barely a fraction of it actually.

Tale as old as time

Well I mean any court would surely see this was fucking batshit. He chose to move miles away so he stumps up the travel costs. He also only sees the child EOW so why on earth would he request £70 per week? Also £70 in fuel is crazy, even for a diesel guzzler.

Start claiming for that day. Tell the nursery to charge him. That will save you a lot

Yes, that makes sense.

Finally someone gets it!!!

Travel costs are not insignificant.

The reduction you get is peanuts. It really isn't worth fighting over.

Besides, you don't have to use CMS.

Use CMS, follow the CMS rules. Some rules work in your favour, some don't.

He doesn’t want to be the resident parent. Not that I think that would have happened in court anyway as he’s had such little to do with DC life.

I asked if he would share half the school holidays when DC goes to school and he said no… (not that I really wanted this anyway given the history but was advised to to look reasonable).

He doesn’t need to deduct money off his child to pay for tyres, petrol, blah blah. He’s driving around in a car worth £150k… even if it’s leased it’s a significant amount! I also have it on good authority he’s recently been wearing a luxury watch worth over £40k. I was with him years he wouldn’t be caught dead in a fake.

And because I’ve said the above I’ll have people jumping on me saying I only care about his money and I don’t. I care about my child. I think it’s petty for a father who moved away and has significant financial means to deduct travel costs from money for his child. I could completely understand if the NRP was struggling!

Glad to know from posting here that the deduction won’t be significant, thank you to everyone who has been helpful.

The problem with nursery is that it’s court ordered that they facilitate hand overs atm. He has EOW throughout the year and any other days where nursery isn’t open it’s facilitated by an agreed third party. So I can’t just pull DC out as it means he can’t collect them. Third party isn’t available to facilitate all handovers.

This is exactly what it is. He isn’t available weekdays because he works. I also work full time and have to use childcare. He isn’t available holidays because of work, I again use childcare or holidays clubs or take annual leave (if I have any left after days taken for dc illness etc etc).

If I didn’t use CMS, he wouldn’t contribute towards our child’s life at all.

I think you need to start your own thread because none of your comments have had any relevance to anything I’ve posted.

You're right, forgive me for going off on a tangent. I wasn't really addressing what I wrote to the OP at all, more expressing my frustration at how Mumsnet always decides Dads are deadbeats rather than try to understand the issues they face that might drive their behaviour. I mean how many people on this thread alone assumed he was pulling a fast one by declaring his travel expenses per week? When that is exactly what the CMS require. How many couldn't work out he does indeed by the OP's own admission drive 400 miles per month? I'm sure there are many, many deadbeat Dads. But I also like to believe there are many, many who are not.

If you care to read, I have explained that the situation is quite the opposite here. It was his choice not to be present in our child’s life, his choice to move away, his choice not to contribute so that I had to go to CMS, I’ve explained he isn’t hard up or struggling to “buy pizza or ice cream” more than once.

You are clearly passionate about your view but you have derailed my thread, you are welcome to start your own and share your views there. Your view isn’t even based off anything I’ve said on here.

I think you should ask nursery to bill him on his drop off and pick up days. It’ll only be 4 days a month? but you’d be making a point and not be having to have the whole bill assigned to you

Please Google notional income CMS as a lot of people aren’t aware of this.

basically if he has an asset with a value of more than £31,250 they will calculate CMS at 8%

It’s so difficult though mine is blatantly advertising a 30 grand a year. Business on top of his salary and social media posts aren’t sufficient proof apparently.

I think it works when they have rental properties but don’t actually take the rental income etc.