Ex applied to deduct travel costs from child maintenance

[greentent86]

AIBU to be pissed, even though I know it’s technically allowed?

I live where I always have, with our child. I have never moved.

Ex lives a significant distance away now, his choice.

Has had sporadic involvement with our child since birth, now we have a court order that he has every other weekend.

Within days if the court order, he’s applied to CMS to vary the payment for “special expenses”… he’s claiming £70 a week in travel costs.

I do get a decent maintenance payment compared to many people, but a loss of over £300 a month is going to be very difficult. I work full time but my job isn’t well paid, and do all the day to day care of our child, pay for nursery etc.

Ex was financial controlling and harassed me over CMS for years, this all came out in court and was noted by the judge.

For what it’s worth, my ex is in a well paid job, has a house worth 7 figures, drives a large car worth 6 figures, has investment properties etc. he isn’t hard up.

I know there’s nothing I can do about it but AIBU to feel the system is really unfair on resident parents.

Courts, sigh. :-(

How is it 70 a week if he's only seeing them every other week? Or is that it averaged out?

That’s what it costs him. It’s nowhere near what he’ll actually end up with. It comes down to a mileage allowance averaged out over the year, and then a minimum weekly threshold of £10 is applied, so he only gets the excess after another deduction according to the % maintenance he pays.

Yep he’s an a*sehole.
How far away does he live? £70 a week is a lot

Sadly I think you only recourse is to check what is stated can be claimed as mileage and toll rates, and then evidence his journey yourself. Also if he only has care once a fortnight, this should be reflective of that too. It’s been a while since my husband went through all of this with his ex. In his case we were paying for phones, school trips, clothes and holidays, and regularly bailing out missed mortgage payments (never to be seen again), so we did seek a travel allowance deduction, as CMS don’t take that into account.

is he self employed or paye? Sadly he can throw extra money into pension pot reduce his income. If you know what time of year he may get paid bonus’s etc, then ensure you ask for a re-evaluation of income at that time of year.

From what I remember despite tghe fact that my ex moved away and point blank refused to have anything to do with DS's transport while I could claim minimal travel expenses that would mean that I could not claim a reduction for the nights he spent with me

I think it’s totally fair if the resident parent moves away, in this case I haven’t and it’s him that’s chosen to live where he is.

I’m sorry you both went through that, it sounds rough.

I have never asked him for anything, all he pays is the maintenance, which I didn’t even claim for a significant portion of our child’s life. I pay for all other activities, like swimming lessons, football, and I imagine it will be that way going forward. I even have to send a bag with clothes, wipes, sunscreen, hat, spare pants, pjs etc as he refuses to provide these and says that it’s what he pays for! I know this isn’t true but I can’t see my child go without because of the way he is. Only mentioned the suncream as he previously sent them back burnt and said he wasn’t providing sunscreen and I should supply it.

Ps, given he’s not seeing your child weekly, I would start with that as a challenge back (has to be costs that exceed £10 per week).

plus work out the mileage (but assume will be there and back twice). Base that cost on Hmrc mileage rate.

also make sure that he is declaring income from rentals, dividends and investments. X

Bloody hell if he let his child burn I’d raise it a child protection issue. I would send him the evidence that CMS is to cover costs whilst in your care and he has to provide whilst in his care and only send sun cream from now on.

That is surely evidence of child neglect in his care. I would be keeping evidence of that or reporting it to get sole custody.

You would be amazed, stroked horrified as to how high the threshold has to be to withdraw contact from father’s
Excuse after excuse after excuse is made for them.

All to the child’s detriment.

My ex did this. Moved 400 miles away, left me to do all the work then sought, and got, a variation to cover his travel expenses for the high days and holidays he does have her. I’m thinking of challenging the ongoing need for it now as our child is older and travels there and back alone so costs are greatly reduced.