Ex applied to deduct travel costs from child maintenance

[greentent86]

AIBU to be pissed, even though I know it’s technically allowed?

I live where I always have, with our child. I have never moved.

Ex lives a significant distance away now, his choice.

Has had sporadic involvement with our child since birth, now we have a court order that he has every other weekend.

Within days if the court order, he’s applied to CMS to vary the payment for “special expenses”… he’s claiming £70 a week in travel costs.

I do get a decent maintenance payment compared to many people, but a loss of over £300 a month is going to be very difficult. I work full time but my job isn’t well paid, and do all the day to day care of our child, pay for nursery etc.

Ex was financial controlling and harassed me over CMS for years, this all came out in court and was noted by the judge.

For what it’s worth, my ex is in a well paid job, has a house worth 7 figures, drives a large car worth 6 figures, has investment properties etc. he isn’t hard up.

I know there’s nothing I can do about it but AIBU to feel the system is really unfair on resident parents.

How far away is he? My inexpensive car uses about £0.15 per mile with fuel prices as they are. So a 100 mile drive is £15 of fuel. If he's only doing it every other week, surely he's claiming £70 each way, which even if it was at £0.35 per mile would still be 200 miles each way?

That’s a stretch. OP’s earnings are nothing to do with it. He’s effectively charging his daughter for his travel costs - and it sounds as though that’s because he can, rather than needing to.

From what OP says he’s driving a penis extension 😂

I’ve got no knowledge of how it all works but how on earth can it be reasonable that it’s court ordered he has to collect but you’d have to pay for it 🙈

It’s £300 a month that he’s effectively charging his daughter for. And he has his daughter EOW. OP pays for the rest of the time, including childcare fees. This is his child !!

Daughter ? Maybe she just wants him to pay what he is ordered for HIS child.

OP I've got nothing to add concerning possible ways to challenge this, sorry - I hope some of the advice given up-thread works out.

Just wanted to say what a bellend your ex is and as pp said you're a saint for putting up with all this w/out trying to wring his neck. I know I'd be tempted.

I had this. It's just another way of them exerting control.
You can appeal it. I did and won as my ex stated he had them every other weekend and I sent extensive proof of how sporadic the contact actually was and they overturned it.
Also, even if it is upheld, the £300 doesn't come directly off of what he gives you, it comes off the amount of his income that's assessed on what he pays you. I'm not sure I've explained that right but it won't be if he paid you £1000 before you only get £700 now so even though it's ridiculous, it's not as bad as it immediately seems

I'm fairly sure if his application is accepted then his costs are deducted from his salary, and then maintenance calculated from that. So you'd be losing something like £30, not £300.

That was my understanding too.

It’s just another tactic in his financial abuse. My ex did the same, moved 55 miles away to be nearer to his new GF’s workplace then took me to court for more access (already had Eow & 1 day a week) he wanted at least 1 more mid week, the court pretty much laughed at him & said no he lived too far away & it would disrupt our sons school. So for payback he applied to CMS for transport costs and got his maintenance dropped by £80 a month. I wouldn't mind but a year later my son was old enough that he started not going as often. My ex also made himself unemployed or self employed several times and the last time he didn’t even claim benefits as he had too much in savings, but that meant £0 CMS for over a year, as 1 final kicker he finally got a new job starting in the August after my son left college and got an apprenticeship so I got a notification from CMS to say this is your new amount but then another to say your son is in full time work so your award is now £0! Of course he had to have the last laugh in my face! That man financially abused me throughout our 6 year relationship & for 16years after. My advice - don’t roll over and take it because at some point he may stop the money all together & you’ll wish you fought for what your children are entitled to now.

That sounds more like him actually. Imagine being a high earner and taking money from your child to pay for your travel because YOU decided to move away? Disgusting behaviour for a parent.

If he has rental income from investment properties has this been taken into account by CMS?

Stay calm. Challenge it.

I’d bet the farm it hasn’t !!

If he has your child every other weekend then why is his claim for every week?

this is frustrating but I used to work for CMS and I managed the team that completed variations, he is going to get a very very small reduction, if it qualifies at all, so don’t worry, they will take the cost of his travel expenses off his salary before the calculation and honestly in most cases it’s a few pounds difference which will be negligible if you get a decent amount.

Based on a cap of 45p per mile, and 2 journeys EOW, £300 pcm equates to him living around 140 miles away. Is that right?

You can estimate what a reasonable claim by using the 45p cap, the distance, and toll charges. Is this close to £300 pcm?

Good to know, thank you

They’ll knock the ‘£300’ off his salary and re-do the calculation. It will end up costing OP a few pounds.

He doesn’t live 140 miles away. It’s about 100 miles return trip. Not sure why he’s put in for every week, I assume he’s averaging it.

I know my earnings aren’t his problem, never said they were. I used to earn about 20k more but unfortunately after having our child I began having health problems and I was diagnosed with a long term condition. I had to leave my job for something more manageable for my condition. I still work full time and do the best I can.

My point was, that I am much worse off than him, what he pays monthly doesn’t even come close to our child’s nursery costs let alone anything else they need. He’s taking away from our child, not me. I just felt it was a very petty action from him, especially when I know he can afford these costs.

For what it’s worth, one of the nursery days which I pay for, will technically be his day, but I just pay it because it’s not worth the hassle.

I didn’t know this, letter didn’t explain it, so thank you to everyone who has pointed this out. Doesn’t feel so stressful now.

Fail ❌️❌️❌️❌️❌️❌️

Wouldn't that have been taken into account already, when awarding the maintenance? The loser isn't increasing the frequency of his contact; just being spiteful, because he has to continue being a misery in whichever way he can.

We’ll just in case you hadn’t worked it out he’s now proved he’s a complete arsehole.