Would you offer a lift in this situation?

[GSolis]

If a friend who lives close to you is having a birthday party close by, and your other friends are coming too, but they live a 45 minute drive away, would you offer to go and pick them up and give them a lift to the party?

Are these people friends or are they actually family? Have they asked you to go and pick them up? Either way, I’d be saying no!

Are you a registered taxi company?

Definitely not

They should swing by yours and get you on the way, if anything

Not in normal circumstances no.

I have done a similar journey for a friend who was just a few weeks after leaving her abusive partner and was nervous about public transport in case she bumped into him.

They are close friends and it’s my husband who they have asked and my husband has agreed to it. I said why have you said yes?! And he got angry at me saying it’s his decision and why do I care? Just wondering if I’m in the wrong for thinking he should’ve said no

Probably not..

With caveats.

There with times in my life when I would have been so grateful for a friend to go out of their way to give me a lift

• when my disability is flaring and I can't drive and am not well enough to risk public transport but would still love to be at my friend's party
• even more so when I was in an abusive relationship and he would out put every obstacle in the way to stop me socialising

But assuming no factors along those lines.... Then no!

Why do you care? If he's happy to then I see no issue.

Hmmm interesting !
He is going to drive 45 minutes each way to collect your friend
If it looks like a duck ...

Ahh, then this is a different question. The question here is ‘Am I being unreasonable to be angry at my husband for offering to go and collect our friends to bring them to a party down the road from us?’

What an idiot! Presumably he’ll have to take them back home again later?!
Why did they ask? Is it because they want to drink? And now your DH can’t!

No way but I might offer them a bed for the night do they could have a drink

I'd offer that if they drove to mine they could stay overnight, but I wouldn't do a 90 min round trip to pick them up.

That's a different question entirely. If he wants to do it, it's perfectly reasonable that he should.

I might pick them up but I wouldn’t take them home.

Nope!! Definitely not a 1.5 hour round trip!! However if they’re driving I’d expect them to offer you a lift if they are passing near to you!!

No I would be walking

You are reasonable to say no to YOU doing it. You are unreasonable to be annoyed if it’s just your husband going to do it and it doesn’t affect your day

Not a problem if he's doing the driving and you don't have to go with him. Also that he doesn't drink and drive.

I would pick my dfs up to take them but not drop off afterwards.
I think it's a bit weird everyone saying they would not 🙄
Mumsnet is a different world, to my lived life though 😂
But then again, I understand on mumsnetland most don't answer the doorbell or will absolutely not have family visits without prior invitation 😂
Different world

I have said I won’t drink so I will drive back but I have said I am not taking them home.

I am disappointed in DH for saying yes because firstly I think they are taking the piss, I do not think they’d do the same in return. It not logical for him to do this when the party is happening here! We are already at the location! But plus, we are very very strapped for cash at the moment I needed the petrol in our car to last all week. We share a car and we only have a few bars of petrol left which will do me to get to work and back until Friday when I get paid. But now he’s going to have to top up today which is going to cut into our money for the weekly food shop tomorrow and I’m probably going to have to borrow money from someone or put the food shopping on a credit card. All because he wanted to be “nice” to his friends. It’s just annoying. But he says that anyone would do the same in this position and I didn’t think that was true, so wanted to ask here

I’d definitely pick them up at the start of the night, but they could sort a cab home.

If I liked them - and it was not difficult for me - I’d also offer them to stay over.
friends do stuff like this - I would hope they would pay it forward

Well that's up to him but I think it's CF of them to ask and ridiculous of him to say yes. So he does a 1.5 hour round trip to collect them, then go to a party down the road ... what happens after? Another 1.5 hour trip to take them home?

Do they not drive? If not why not?

have you explained to him about the finances of it?

tell him to ask them for petrol money. He's a stupid pratt taking money from your household to look like a hero. Ask him for examples of when his friends have done similar for him.

If they offer petrol money, you might end up better off? I'd certainly expect not to be buying any drinks.