AIBU to not let in laws use my villa for free in peak season?

[dilwithvil]

I have a villa in Europe by the beach that I own independently of my husband. It’s effectively a high-end Airbnb in a very popular area and is usually fully booked from mid May until late September. It’s one of my income streams (I’m a SAHM but I manage several investments/assets, and this is part of my income). My husband also earns a very good salary, for full context, but all of “my spending” (coffee with a friend, make up, clothes, dentist) is paid by me from this income. I earn more than my husband.

My in-laws would like to use the villa for a week in peak season for free. My view is that peak season is when the villa earns money. If I block out a week for them, I’m not just “sharing a holiday home”, I’m giving up a week’s rental income.

I’ve said they’re very welcome to use it either in low season, when bookings are much quieter, or at very short notice if a peak-season booking unexpectedly cancels (which almost never happens).

They’re unhappy with this because they want to be able to plan a holiday well in advance, and they don’t want to go in low season because the weather is less reliable. Even if they paid half the market rate this is more than they would usually pay for a holiday, so they don’t want to pay that either.

For context, my parents do occasionally use the villa in peak season. The villa ultimately came from my side of the family (family money/early inheritance), so I don’t really see that as the same thing. Without them, there wouldn’t be a villa in the first place.

Also, while I get on reasonably well with my in-laws, I wouldn’t choose to holiday with them for a week or two, so inviting them while we’re there isn’t really something I want to do either.

AIBU for saying that if they want to use it in peak season, they should either pay the market rate (or even half), or go in low season? Or should family simply be allowed to use it for free regardless of the income I’d be giving up?

If OP did her own mum's hair for free at peak times because she actually bought and gifted the salon to OP, she would be under no obligation to do the same for her MIL as she has made no contribution to OP's business, unlike her mum.

It's the same with the villa as OP's parents gave it to her as a gift/early inheritance so allowing them to use the villa for a week in peak season is OP showing her thanks for the gift. There is no such obligation for her MIL.

Do you own a holiday home? If you rent it out it is an income (assuming you make a profit)

No, I don't know that income isn't the same, or why OPs income from the villa is somehow different to DHs income from his job. You've not explained any of that.

I'm not asking about subjective definitions of niceness, which is just as well as you'd then need to explain why DH doesn't need to be nice.

The dh married well and now the whole family thinks they all married well tut tut

OP is allowing them to use it and has offered several suggestions, they just don’t like what is being offered.

Any decent person would accept that not complain and try to force the issue because they can’t use someone else’s property when they want to.

From OP’s posts, they don’t seem that involved with her anyway.

What about the fact that OP out-earns DH do you not get?

I mean rich people don’t stay rich by giving their money away 🤣

He, a high earner in his own right, doesn’t have to pay towards a mortgage, and did not in fact pay for the house at all. He doesn’t have to pay towards childcare for three children, OP’s disposable income, or holidays when they use the villa. Hard done by he is not, by any stretch of the imagination.

Kindness and generosity are great when given to those who appreciate it. When it comes to those that believe themselves entitled to something because it belongs to someone they’re related to, a handbag is infinitely more satisfying.

I don't know, but it certainly wasn't DH

Probably because they’re familiar with cheeky fuckers trying to get something for nothing out of them.

Ime those complaining about how ‘tight’ people are usually doing so because they’re mad at having been told no.

Thank you!

Seems several posters have missed this post from OP:

my contribution to family is being a SAHM and the property we live in. Nothing else. Then he pays all the bills, all the holidays except this villa, all the kids’ clothes, baby related equipment, kids’ medical costs if any arise, days out etc

I highly doubt they go on a large amount of holidays with three children.

OP, you're being incredibly mean and selfish but they should.also get the hint (even if hurt).

You have inherited a blimmin villa. Pass on the blessing. Some people just don't know they're born.

I always said if I won the lottery I wouldn’t tell anyone.

As everyone would want something. Then your left with nothing as but you gave them, you helped them why not us.

The big meanie for not sharing like this case.

Rather than looking at a discount as a nice plus side to having a rich Dil she’s the devil for not giving it away for free.

they are being cheeky. If they are retired they could go in low season but you are being mean if you let your parents go and not them.

Given that OP knew her husband wouldn’t ‘allow’ her to be a SAHM in the house she owns, I think she and her parents have been pretty savvy to create an independent source of income which enables her to care for her children and cover the costs of some extra support at home as well as nice clothes and meals with friends when she feels like it. Her husband gets to live mortgage-free, with zero childcare costs or responsibilities, keeping everything he earns after council tax, utilities etc for himself. If anyone should be treating his parents to a holiday, it’s him.

It is a business. They have been offered it outside business hours.

Some of these responses are so childish and frankly, stupid.

The OP makes her money from this rental. It isn't a spare bedroom she is keeping to herself, while the inlaws sleep in a tent in the garden. Ffs 🙄

entitled much?😂

How much of your own "blessings" are you sharing with people currently in hardship exactly? You don't even need a country at war, there's not lack of people who need help right now.

Yep. Plus, considering their past behaviour, I wouldn’t be keen on gifting them anything that large. OP is being pretty generous imo.

Funny, how there is a thread about not wanting to lend out a £500 prom dress to a relative and people saying that it is not unreasonable to not lend it out yet the OP here is being selfish and mean not allowing her in-laws to use her villa during peak season despite offering other times they can have it instead.

Yes i got that. Which begs the question why she won't share a bit of her wealth and very good fortune with his parents!

Does your husband have the same amount of “play money” as you do?

She will. I appreciate that the wording has been confusing, as OP seems to have considered multiple options, but she's offered half price August as this is their preferred month. The in laws still feel this is too expensive, and OP says DH wouldn't share his very good fortune with them in covering the remaining costs.

What you mean is why won’t she share her income with her ILs. Which begs the question why her DH won’t share his. OP has given them multiple very generous u options all of which they have turned down.

Yes DH has done very well for himself. It seems his ILs want to join in.

@Zippidydoodah I don’t think he can as she out earns him, he pays the bills, and so all her income must be personal spend money

It's an interesting point. I was surprised more posters hadn't picked up on the 'allowed' part actually.