To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake

[Dinnertext]

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

I think it's a joke meaning your hospitality is so good she will have over indulged.

I think I'd respond, 'thanks for the honest response to my question. I think it's a bit sad that you were badmouthing me to others, rather than letting me know about your digestive issues that you blame on my alternative supermarket. Perhaps it's best if we take a raincheck at this point.'

Your husband can feel free to meet up with his mate at the pub. If they plan to have a bite to eat, remind him to remind his friend to check which supermarket they use first. . .'

Do you really?

Have you read any other of the OP's posts apart from the first?

It would be incredibly wrong of you to pull the invite (unless it was snarky and your other posts confirm as much), this is the exact convo I have with DH and others every Xmas, Easter and other high day or holiday because of the richness of the celebratory indulgent food I serve. And no, he can’t just not eat it because I am an excellent cook and it is all sooo sooo very delicious. Salt, fat, cream and butter. By the bucket 😁

Your guests complain about which supermarket you use? And you don't find that rude?

This! Tell her get to fuck. If your husband's so bothered he can go meet Dave down the pub on his own

This would b me 100 % I always need pepto after indulgence of good food and drink 🍷!
Just say oops u sent me text by mistake 😭
Don't make it awkward if your good friends

Ok just read update !!
ignore above that's quiet rude
I would cancel and let your hubbie socialise with his friend alone

Ooohhh no go ahead with it just have a glass of pepto as part of her place setting.

What a mean cow.

I would message back and say that something has come up and you will have to rescind the invitation. You will both know why, but that saves the awkward conversation if you're not up to it. If you are up to it, say that you think she has been quite rude, complaining about you to other people, without first having the grace or the manners to address it with you first.

Edited to say - apologies - I didn't mean to quote your earlier post.

There is no way I would have her in my house again! Her comments show a lack of respect for you, and she just generally sounds like a stuck up, snooty cow!

Unless it was pasta with raw chicken/ off salmon, it wouldn't give her the sort of food poisoning (as I interpret extremely upset stomach) she seems to be describing.
Poor dear with her delicate stomach that can only take food from Waitrose, how does she survive!
If you do go ahead with just drinks and they bring nibbles, please serve Blue Nun wine and Diamond White cider.

You re not being unreasonable if you message and say you re disappointed she had told others and not yourself directly re the 'symptoms' following the first time you made them dinner.
She clearly had shared her version of events with the other person she was sending the original text to.
Find some words to make it lighthearted, so theres no long term bad feeling
However, you might want to distance yourself anyway, she sounds a pure bitch!!
Have they even invited you to theirs to repay the compliment of the first meal???
Put something about that in your text too.😄

Pepto Bismol. The dancing workman advert - for upset tummy and dia - rrhoea .

You re not being unreasonable if you message and say you re disappointed she had told others and not yourself directly re the 'symptoms' following the first time you made them dinner.
She clearly had shared her version of events with the other person she was sending the original text to.
Find some words to make it lighthearted, so theres no long term bad feeling
However, you might want to distance yourself anyway, she sounds a pure bitch!!
Have they even invited you to theirs to repay the compliment of the first meal???
Put something about that in your text too.😄

I'd have her round, and then when offering drinks I'd say, 'beer, wine, pepto bismol...?'

This. Polite but to the point.

This is great advice. Go high OP.

I would definitely send this.

Brilliant response!

She has sent a long reply and said that both her and her Husband had extremely upset stomach’s last time but she felt too polite to mention and to decline the invite. She says she thinks some of the ingredients I used were from places they wouldn’t usually shop and so didn’t agree with her. She has suggested they come round but only for drinks and said they are happy to bring some crisps/olives with them.

IMO the only reasonable response to this is GET FUCKED YOU SNOBBY BITCH but I'd probably opt for a ...

'If our food isn't of a satisfactory standard for you then you can consider our alcohol sub par too. I won't be hosting going forward.. Also, it is customary to apologise when you've been caught bitching behind someone's back.'

And block.

The fact that DH is so much of a wet lettuce that he expects his wife to host after being slagged off like this just so he can avoid any 'awkwardness' is absolutely shocking.

WHERE is his loyalty?!!

I would say “best we leave it.” Then leave your husband to make plans to have a drink with the bloke if he wants to.

any sort of hosting is going to be stressful and awkward.

As I get older, I find the straightforward approach works best with most things.

Just say: "I assume this wasn't meant for me, but since it has now come up, do I give you indigestion and is there something I can do to make the food sit better with you?"

Give her the chance to explain her meaning ... then decide.

ETA Oh have just seen her response. In that case withdraw the invitation and say it is in everyone's best interests. There are way too many criticisms in that analysis - and a distinct lack of aplology!

Doesn’t sound like much of a friend to me.

I wouldn’t want to be socialising with her after that. How does your husband expect you to sit there and chat with that elephant in the room!
Id say that you feel quite uncomfortable and you think it’s best if you cancel for now. Perhaps we can go to a restaurant in the future.

Your thick (skinned?) husband can go out with her husband if he likes.

Out of interest have you eaten at their house? Is she a clean freak? Was their cooking particularly good?

Sorry just read your update! That’s a tough one but it’s fair enough she’s wary, I got food poisoning and was wary of everything I’d eaten in those few days (mil not happy that I won’t go to their local takeaway anymore!) Sorry this is going on though op x