to think a male pill would be one of the best things that could happen to society?

[ZoeCM]

A massive number of society's problems are caused by absent or bad fathers. Imagine if, before a baby was conceived, a man had to consciously think, "I want to have a child with this woman, so I'll come off the pill." Not just "I want to have sex, this woman is willing, and it'll be less enjoyable if we use a condom."

Of course, it wouldn't be a panacea. There would still sadly be men who choose to come off the pill but are bad fathers anyway, or decide once the reality of parenthood sets in that they can't be bothered. And there would also be men who just don't bother to take the pill properly and are then shocked when the woman gets pregnant. But on balance, if there were a way for men to have condom-free sex without potentially having to pay for a child for eighteen years afterwards, a lot of them would be downright religious in their use of it.

I'm genuinely intrigued to see if anyone disagrees with this. I can't see any downside.

I was literally coming to say that it would 💯 have to be a trusted husband situation because there's no way I would personally trust another person that could theoretically walk away free from consequences.

I mean I wouldn’t trust a man - but then a man shouldn’t trust a woman when they say they are on the pill either

should aways be using condoms regardless

but I do know a few guys with I wanted kids due to believing they didn’t need to use a condom cus she said she was on the pill - and theres some blame on them for doing it !

i also know some guys who are completely horrified at the thought of having a kid and do not want a child under any circumstance - one of them for a vasectomy

the other I bet would take a pill if it was available to help stop him ever getting anyone pregnant

it should deffo be an option

like my husband is gonna get a vasectomy soon - but after we had second kid we used condoms for ages cus i refused to go on anything again - he’d have taken a pill for sure

Ha. There are some in trial stage but I wouldn’t trust a man to take it (perhaps if married). Fact remains it’s the woman who gets pregnant so unfortunately I’d only trust the woman to use birth control like a pill. A condom you can at least see.

Quite. So the trials stopped.

More bs.

I wouldn’t trust a man entirely, but I wouldn’t have to would I? I would take care of my own contraception, and … he would take care of his in addition.

No more excuses from men about how they were trapped by women. Imagine every child having 2 parents who wanted them.

And men having to take some responsibility for once. I think it would be a good thing.

Reminds me of this - vasectomies at birth until you can prove you're responsible enough for a reversal

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/187hdBAwG

But a lit of these bad or absent fathers were probably OK with the idea of having children. They just don’t like the reality of it and are incapable of taking responsibility for their families. Immature and idiots. No pill will ever change that.

Definitely - but the problem is: you'd have to trust them to have taken it.

That's the main reason, I think, that contraception still falls to women mostly because a dodgy man could just tell you he'd taken the pill and you'd have no way of knowing.

Until men who don't want to be fathers are actually forced to be fathers with all the emotional, physical, mental and financial loads that comes with it, I will no tbe recommending to any woman I know that she relies on the male pill.

I think the idea is brilliant and should be deveoped, but in the real world, I wouldn't trust a man. even my own DH - because ultimately, if it fails, it's not HIM that suffers, it's me.

And presumably this would be the same for any man?

I just don’t see that a male contraceptive changes the position from where we are now. I’d support it, but given I’d be the one literally left holding the baby I’d
probably prefer to be the one in control of that rather than trusting someone else has done it right.

Exactly. I don't understand why people are acting as though it's either/or. Female contraceptive options would still be available. The male pill would be used in addition to these, not instead of them.

Well yes of course there’s loads of reasons why men couldn’t take it also, but having it as an option wouldn’t be a bad thing. There are threads on here every week from women who’ve had kids and don’t want to deal with hormonal contraception anymore, but not all men want a vasectomy, so the pill would give another option.

Well there is an incredibly reliable and simple procedure men can opt for if they definitely don't want any more children - a vasectomy.
But many are too bloody selfish to make that choice.

Not only would I not trust a man to take the pill, the pill would not protect me from STDs.

Also, how many women would end up in the ridiculous position of reminding their bloke to take his pill every day?

It’s not selfish to not permanently alter your body, your body isn’t anyone else’s property. Plus some men might not want to make a permanent choice, so the pill is an option

The pill was developed for men to take. After all the side effects were discovered, it was decided no man would take it, so it became a women's problem instead.

I could forsee wives and partners having sex and believing they are trying, as a couple, to conceive, whilst their male partner quietly ensures they don't. Lots to think about there.

And what if the man has stuck his dick in someone with HIV or syphllyis several weeks before. Or do you mean using condoms as well as the pill.

The reverse is already entirely possible now, though. Women can take the pill without telling their partner.

Men who don't take resonsibililty for a living breathing child aren't going to take responsibility for the possibility of a child. Why do you think they would?

But on balance, if there were a way for men to have condom-free sex without potentially having to pay for a child for eighteen years afterwards, a lot of them would be downright religious in their use of it.

I can honestly say if I was out there dating my first thought would not be how can I make sex more pleasurable for a man, how can I do that without a condom!! You do know there’s other risks apart from pregnancy that come from unprotected sex. Apart from all that would you really put your trust in someone to of taken the pill? I wouldn’t, it’s my responsibility to look after my sexual health and mine to not get pregnant

Why do you think literally no men take responsibility? Plenty of men do, and would be capable of taking a pill. Nobody is saying all men should be taking a pill. But there are men out there that aren’t incompetent morons.

What about in a committed marriage? Not everyone is sleeping around with people they don’t know/trust.

I didn't say men. I said men who don't take responsibility for their children i.e. the ones OP is talking about in her first post.

First post nails it.