Page 10 | AIBU after being reported for apparently targeting a member of staff

Vintageshirtsearch · 2026-07-05T20:25:30+00:00

OK no one is going to believe this to be true but I need to share it. I was spoken to today by my line manager as I've been reported in our 'call it out' policy. I made a member of staff feel targeted and picked on. I bet you won't be able to guess what I did that made them feel so bad. It's so crackers I actually thought my manager was joking. Anyone want to guess?

Ezzee · Today 08:33

DameOfThrones · Yesterday 22:49

And if the colleague stumbles across this public thread when Googling Taylor Swift for example, how professional do you think you’ll end up looking?

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About as professional as making a complaint about a non matter to the manager!
Thank fuck I work with adults.

booksnbaking · Today 08:33

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · Today 07:07

I have to know - how foreign are we talking? Are you from space?

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What’s so funny?

Signed, A Martian.

HGHGHG · Today 08:39

Vintageshirtsearch · Yesterday 21:29

No one is right yet.
I don't want to be annoying and drag it out but it's so much less than anything mentioned so far
The complaining person is 30 and I am 50 so both adults.

I would never have guessed the reason - but the age of the complainer I 100% would have got.

The 27 to 35 year olds are a wet lettuce lot (yes, I know I know, a HUGE generalisation but a true one) and this one sounds exactly like most I unfortunately know

AlwaysExtraHot · Today 08:40

Kalanthe · Yesterday 22:14

Obviously she is crazy and in the wrong, we are past the point of discussing it as it's fairly obvious. All I'm saying is when you're at work you need to be careful what you're saying. You need to know how to co-exist with difficult people. At work you're professional and keep strong opinions to yourself, it doesn't matter that you are right and the other person is being ridiculous. You play the game and wear the mask or you will not progress far in your career and might be labelled as difficult, even if you're absolutely correct in what you said. It has nothing to do with fairness or common sense, it's about avoiding conflict with difficult people and not harming your career. If you don't like it then don't be surprised when you don't get promotions or get reported to the management. Nobody said this is fair or logical, it's just what you do to avoid conflict with idiots

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Please.
'strong opinions' about politics or something, sure. But if someone thinks this conversation counts as 'conflict' then they need help, not condoning.

Gengha · Today 08:42

AlwaysExtraHot · Today 08:40

Please.
'strong opinions' about politics or something, sure. But if someone thinks this conversation counts as 'conflict' then they need help, not condoning.

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Agreed.

if you can’t say something as benign as this may as well not bother talking to anyone at work at all.

Imseriouslyyouguys · Today 08:42

NeverTalksToStrangers2 · Today 00:40

I'm coming at this as swiftie in her late 40s...

Yes it was silly of her to complain about you. No question.

However... sometimes it can be very difficult to be a Taylor fan because people are SO critical of everything she does. There's so much discussion about every aspect of her life. She has an enormous fanbase but also an enormous number of people desperate to tell you why she's awful. And no matter who it is, everyone has an opinion on her (even if they know next to nothing about her).

Her wedding was criticised for being too big, too private, too public, too ridiculous, too tacky, too maga (🙄), not authentic, too wasteful, too ostentatious. It was her fault that there was an extreme heatwave and she was using so much electricity when the mayor had asked new york to conserve energy (aircon units bad). Because of her streets around MSG had to be cordoned off on a public holiday (this is a regular occurrence btw). In reality she was just a girl who wanted a big wedding (nothing wrong with that, even if its not your personal cup of tea) and just wanted to be sure no security threats, drones or helicopters could disrupt her day. This isn't something most of us have to worry about when we get married.

So maybe this girl felt she was battling online/public opinion all weekend and then you just made it worse.

Surely being a fan doesn’t mean you have to personally defend all of her life decisions?!

“oh well, I really like her music” then shrug.

LightlyRoamingOcelots · Today 08:47

Yabu for making the thread a guessing game. It's not like the scenario is remotely guessable. You must be a very tedious person so probably have form at work for being tiresome and the complainer's tolerance level is therefore unusually low, but there was nothing intrinsically wrong with your conversation about Taylor Swift.

isaidmaybeyoure · Today 08:48

NeverTalksToStrangers2 · Today 08:04

Sadly yes, an old one, lol.

I don't believe I'm behaving like a child so here so I'm not sure why you're asking.

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I think to say “it’s hard to be a Taylor fan because she gets criticised” is quite childish

isaidmaybeyoure · Today 08:48

NeverTalksToStrangers2 · Today 08:04

Sadly yes, an old one, lol.

I don't believe I'm behaving like a child so here so I'm not sure why you're asking.

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I think to say “it’s hard to be a Taylor fan because she gets criticised” is quite childish

Original poster

Vintageshirtsearch · Today 08:48

anyolddinosaur · Today 08:21

I want to know who the other person was (just male or female) and if they were also the subject of a compalint. "the other staff member said he didn't get the hype over taylor swift and I said I didn't either."

I hope your manager told them if they are so sensitive they can just move away from any further discussions - and is now looking to manage the idiot out.

Well it was a bloke for a start which i think is also part of the issue- if you are a woman who doesn’t support this nonsense you get much more vitriol than men do

OP posts:

Original poster

Vintageshirtsearch · Today 08:50

LightlyRoamingOcelots · Today 08:47

Yabu for making the thread a guessing game. It's not like the scenario is remotely guessable. You must be a very tedious person so probably have form at work for being tiresome and the complainer's tolerance level is therefore unusually low, but there was nothing intrinsically wrong with your conversation about Taylor Swift.

You’re nice

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BunnyLake · Today 08:54

Owly11 · Yesterday 21:43

It sounds like you did take sides in the argument. If you are older perhaps they see you as having more power in the organisation. It's obviously ridiculous of them to report you but I can see how it might have felt to them that you were dismissive of one person's view and supportive of the other.

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Are people so mamby pamby now that they’d get upset over this? 🤦‍♀️

MNLurker1345 · Today 08:57

SardinesOnButteredToast · Yesterday 21:40

You sent an email in Gen Z speak, Capitalising. Each. Word. And. Using. Copious. Full. Stops in a tedious manner?

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Don’t forget the emoji’s.

Well we have it now. OP voiced an irrelevant statement about Taylor Swifts’ wedding to a Millennial Swift disciple.

BunnyLake · Today 08:58

HGHGHG · Today 08:39

I would never have guessed the reason - but the age of the complainer I 100% would have got.

The 27 to 35 year olds are a wet lettuce lot (yes, I know I know, a HUGE generalisation but a true one) and this one sounds exactly like most I unfortunately know

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I honestly don’t know how they navigate life. So embarrassingly wet and wimpy if they get upset about something as bland as this.

EnjoyingTheSilence · Today 08:59

I once made a comment that I really didn’t like a singer (not TS) and one of the people I was speaking to went nuts at me and didn’t speak to me again for ages. I think I was in my 40’s at the time, she was in her 50’s. Totally bizarre, she took it so personally

Mycatmax · Today 09:04

Mate, the Swifties are notoriously 🦇💩

You cross these crazies at your peril.

Original poster

Vintageshirtsearch · Today 09:05

Mycatmax · Today 09:04

Mate, the Swifties are notoriously 🦇💩

You cross these crazies at your peril.

I did not know this! I wonder why

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NeverTalksToStrangers2 · Today 09:11

isaidmaybeyoure · Today 08:48

I think to say “it’s hard to be a Taylor fan because she gets criticised” is quite childish

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Ok.

Good for you.

pictoosh · Today 09:28

Ohhh ha ha ha. I am laughing at this...sorry OP.
Am also tickled by some of the replies...I don't know how Taylor Swift has become so interesting or important to people. She seems pretty unremarkable to me. I'd have agreed with your mild observation.

Aaaanyways, I once had a colleague complain about me because while complimenting her excellent hair and make up skills, I described her as chameleonic...being able to change her look at will.
She didn't know what chamelionic meant and thought I was insulting her.
During the 'talk it out' meeting with management I said, "Yes chamelionic...like Madonna. I was referring to your skill."
"Oh", she said...."thanks."

Ffs.

WheretheFishesareFrightening · Today 09:36

NeverTalksToStrangers2 · Today 07:48

I didn't say I personally was having difficulty with it. I'm not.

There's just a lot of commentary online. If you're not aware of it, that's great for you, honestly. A quick search will find a lot of hate. Some people are sensitive and take it as a personal attack.

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I am aware of hate levied at Swift and the fandom. But there is none at me. And if anyone is finding this a personal attack it’s not for their colleagues to pussy foot around a clearly bizarre and weird investment in a celebrity.

cramptramp · Today 09:41

I think you should put in a counter complaint saying that the swiftie complaining made you feel invalidated for having an opinion that she didn’t agree with.
Honestly, what a pathetic person she is.

NeverTalksToStrangers2 · Today 09:41

WheretheFishesareFrightening · Today 09:36

I am aware of hate levied at Swift and the fandom. But there is none at me. And if anyone is finding this a personal attack it’s not for their colleagues to pussy foot around a clearly bizarre and weird investment in a celebrity.

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Ok. I never said I agreed with her colleague reporting her. That's unhinged. I was merely trying to point out why they might have been annoyed by it.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · Today 09:42

Vintageshirtsearch · Today 08:48

Well it was a bloke for a start which i think is also part of the issue- if you are a woman who doesn’t support this nonsense you get much more vitriol than men do

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So was he also part of the complaint?

If not, why not?

Why was your manager even entertaining any of this?

I found it funny last night but this morning I just find it…..dunno. Spineless? I’d have lost a lot of respect for the manager for not shutting it down.

cramptramp · Today 09:42

Just noticed it was a man who complained. What a pathetic person he is.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · Today 09:44

Whatyoutalkingabouteh · Today 08:22

I work in HR and these are the type of shit grievances people actually raise….

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Was there any way the manager could have just shut this down at the source, or were his hands tied?

What would be the HR style best way of dealing with something like this?