Would this put you off your partner?

[Heudb]

I am not sure whether to treat this as a drunken comment or something a bit more sinister. Early hours of this morning with my boyfriend, waiting for a taxi after a night out. He suggested getting a kebab - I said I was never keen on these as I was worried what was in the meat. He said that never concerned him as he ‘used to eat the arses of women he’d just met on nights out’ so he wasn’t screamish about kebabs. I told him I found the comment disgusting and he did apologise and said it was many years ago.

I find it immature at best. He’s early 30’s now!

🖕She’s right I’m afraid. Just grossly unnecessary

That would be a relationship-killer for me. Disgusting image that I don't need. Information I don't want. And worst of all, a sign that his personality and mine would not mesh well. That would be our last night out together.

I don’t think I’d be impressed with a man who admitted to having such low standards that he tongued the arseholes of strangers in the same casual way you might order a ropey kebab. When men say things such as ‘I’ve banged worse’ etc, are women really meant to be impressed? Of course YANBU! Some of us want slightly classier men!

Was he very drunk when he said that?

I've always thought that if you do that sort of thing, it would be with someone you know pretty well, for hygiene reasons if nothing else. But now you know that when drunk, he used to launch himself at various strange women's bumholes and feast thereupon. I'm going to guess that safer sex was not in his repertoire - can't imagine that after that he'd subsequently use a condom for intercourse. Please get tested. Please. And yes, his turn of phrase leaves everything to be desired.

Well that's a big macho comment isn't it.

Strikes me as if its a bit of one upmanship... implies that he is such a sexual god that he has random women he's just met clamouring for him to.... well I can't even be bothered to repeat his crass description. but ICK

He's also implying that you know nothing about food, when you talk about the potentially unsavoury and unknown ingredients in a kebab, because he's been exposed to worse germs, is what he means I guess.... but its also saying that your "fears" are a bit stupid.

So he's school you, put your opinions down as ignorant and used this as an excuse to let you know that he's fancied by any woman he meets on a night out and is a total catch..

He's a catch. You heard it from the Horses Mouth.. although he was actually talking through his Horse's A**e

I don't know, I think my view is perhaps a little warped, but whilst indicating that the kebab is the better choice, he's kind of comparing these two experiences and is still willing to eat the kebab. I would never trust his opinion of food ever again.

I think his behavior was crass in choosing to talk to you that way. He's probably wanting to know if all that, his behaviours and eating preferences, are acceptable to you.

Yes, if my partner sounded like Jay from the Inbetweeners, he’d be dumped.

He’s in his 30s? Don’t waste your life on this bloke.

I have noticed that sometimes/often/really often when men talk about sex they use language which is as coarse and crude as they can get it. For example - do women really want to be asked for 'a tit wank'? Or 'a gobble'? Answers on a postcard, please.

Yeah it’s gross. You don’t say that to a new partner.

This is stolen from X (twitter) doubt it happened

Yes

Well... This is doing the rounds as a meme at the moment. 👏🏽 So either you've nicked it from that or he has!

People are so stupid. This is so obviously not about this guy’s past-it’s about the crass way he expressed it. And, incidentally, the way he talked about another culture’s food. Which is borderline racist. He should apply to be a Reform MP.

I'd think yuk and would tell him that. However, he was drunk and took your feedback on board and apologised. Assuming he really was sorry and it's a drunken one off I'd let it go.

What a charmer.

That said, if it was an uncharacteristic one off remark made whilst drunk, I’d let it pass.

If it’s the act described that’s the problem, then as long as it was between consenting adults, I don’t see the problem.

A man that spoke like that about his past 'conquests' wouldn't be allowed within a six foot radius of me.

Everyone has a past, but someone who slept around so casually (some would say skank like if he was eating strangers arses out in back alleys) would not be compatible with me.

Yeah gross but a one off drunken comment I'd let it go but if he talks like this regularly then it would really put me off

Yet another ‘man said something disgusting’ thread. They’re almost daily now

So your boyfriend admitting to rimming complete strangers?
🤮🤮🤮

That wording is awful 🤢

I’d have laughed at that.

Yes, it’s extremely crass. It’s also the sort of thing I can slightly imagine wanting to say to someone if they were being a bit prissy and fussy at me for wanting a kebab. That sort of thing brings out the worst in me and makes me want to say something terrible in response.

Anyway - crass, yes. Sinister, no.

This really happened didn’t it. At least make up something that isn’t currently viral on social media

I read a Tweet with precisely those words, yesterday.
Is he just repeating that to sound ‘cool’?

What @BagaChipssaid…