To be annoyed at disruption in a theatre show?

[shouldwejust]

I appreciate that this is a nuanced topic, and that there possibly isn’t a right answer.

Recently I went to watch a show in the theatre that I had been looking forward to for months. The tickets were my birthday present and something I can’t usually afford, so definitely a one off treat.

Throughout the whole show, a man who had severe disabilities was shouting out and yelling. He didn’t stop at all and continuously made very loud and disruptive noises.

It completely took me out of the show, meant I struggled to concentrate and was just annoyed!

I fully appreciate that everyone in society has a right to enjoy things, and perhaps this man was looking forward to the show just as much as me! But, I don’t think that it’s fair that he disrupted the show for the entire rest of the audience who had also paid a lot to be there.

I don’t know what the solution is to be perfectly honest. That his carer removed him when he was being disruptive? That he attended one of the “autism friendly” screenings that are expected to have more disruption?

When I said this to my partner he was shocked and said that basically we should just accept that our show was ruined for his enjoyment, as that is being inclusive. I don’t feel that inclusivity should come at the cost of everyone else?

I appreciate that I may be told I am being unreasonable here but I’d like to hear other people’s opinions here

There are only limits if you’re not willing to try to find a solution.

We had this just yesterday at a show. We go to panto every year at the same theatre and it happens then, but that’s a different environment and is fine. But yesterday was quite a serious performance and I did wonder how distracting it was for the performers, especially the younger ones.

I often book theatre tickets a year or more in advance. It’s just how it is, factoring in saving the cost and finding a time I can attend.

Disabled people with difficult disabilities and their carers don’t just rock up to these things and expect to be accommodated. IME they look to people like me in my professional role, to approach the venue or service provider, to make them aware of the difficulty and try to find reasonable accommodation. As I said upthread, this may well have happened in OP’s case because often there is a failure on the part of the venue on the day, which is not the fault of the disabled person.

If someone had a seizure during a show it would stop the show while staff deal with it once the staff are aware . Same with any medical emergency .You are not supposed to move someone while they are having a seizure .
We go to shows a lot and I have specific seats I book so that if I need to come out for a wee or for whatever reason we can without disturbing others but I have a disability and it doesn't affect others . We have had shows disrupted by hen parties and drunken groups and we've never been offered anything from theatres when they've been aware we've been disrupted . It is annoying when shows are disrupted but the disabled persons family may have thought they'd be fine in the show and then in fact they weren't . It may have also caused more disruption if they'd tried to leave as the person wouldn't understand why they are leaving.

The solution is relaxed performances. It’s been found. This person just didn’t accept it. I’ve been deleted over this issue before though so I’m making no further comment.

Not everything is cost effective or worth it.

They could’ve left during the interval.

They have to demonstrate that they’ve tried to find a reasonable solution and that the only way the problem can be solved is by the person leaving.

That depends on your point of view and isn’t a get out of jail free card where the law is concerned.

Why are you assuming that the disabled person shouting because of tics, also has a learning disability ?

Because your internalised ableism is leading you to believe that because someone has tics making them shout, that they also have a learning disability.

Again, maybe the law is too strict.

But was there a relaxed performance fir this show?

Because if there isn’t then, the choice is telling some disabled people they can’t see the show/theyre not welcome or everyone accepting they might be disturbed.

To me, this is is an issue of intersectionality.

I'm deeply worried about ableism these days because I think it's getting worse. I would like to see more understanding/inclusion. But speaking as someone who's also disabled, I wouldn't have been able to cope with this situation (I'm hard of hearing so wouldn't have been able to follow the show if there were multiple outbursts).

In other environments, it's easier to regulate because if someone's being quite loud, the onus is on me to take steps to cope (an earbud in my hearing ear works a treat). This environment wasn't right for that particular disabled person and it sounds like a failure on the carer(s)' part.

I've learned that generally the loudest and pushiest person in the room tends to win, though.

Yes, there was.

Again. It's not the fact they are disabled. It's the fact they cause a disruption and hindrance to others

Why do they need carers then? If they don't have a learning disability they'd have full awareness of their actions then perhaps they shouldn't put themselves in this situation if they can't handle it.

Hello, they definitely had some kind of learning disability as well as having tics! They had a one to one carer with them and their other general behaviour indicated another disability other than just the tics :)