To be annoyed at disruption in a theatre show?

[shouldwejust]

I appreciate that this is a nuanced topic, and that there possibly isn’t a right answer.

Recently I went to watch a show in the theatre that I had been looking forward to for months. The tickets were my birthday present and something I can’t usually afford, so definitely a one off treat.

Throughout the whole show, a man who had severe disabilities was shouting out and yelling. He didn’t stop at all and continuously made very loud and disruptive noises.

It completely took me out of the show, meant I struggled to concentrate and was just annoyed!

I fully appreciate that everyone in society has a right to enjoy things, and perhaps this man was looking forward to the show just as much as me! But, I don’t think that it’s fair that he disrupted the show for the entire rest of the audience who had also paid a lot to be there.

I don’t know what the solution is to be perfectly honest. That his carer removed him when he was being disruptive? That he attended one of the “autism friendly” screenings that are expected to have more disruption?

When I said this to my partner he was shocked and said that basically we should just accept that our show was ruined for his enjoyment, as that is being inclusive. I don’t feel that inclusivity should come at the cost of everyone else?

I appreciate that I may be told I am being unreasonable here but I’d like to hear other people’s opinions here

When I used it with my son, it was just us. I'm not sure if that's always the case though or if it is something you can ask about and they would accommodate.

This is interesting

not the fear element as that’s not a disability

but let’s say blind or paraplegic

can someone with those disabilities summit Everest? (I’m not being snide I don’t know)

what adjustments would need to be made to make it possible, and would those adjustments make it more dangerous for other people?

are some experiences just not able to be made inclusive for all?

I really believe that live theatre can’t be made inclusive at all performances for those who make a lot of noise that they can’t control. Not without disproportionately negatively affecting others.

It’s one my aunt has always dealt with. Premier league top five club though so normal tickets are hard let alone any element of exclusivity

There’s an accessible performance in September 2026 and 4 in November 2026.

Isn’t the point though that everyone should be advocating for more relaxed performances though? There is clearly a need and demand.

It won’t be good for theatres if they are having to give refunds for disrupted shows

Ah yeah, that makes sense. My local club is league 1 and pretty shit so I imagine it is easier to accommodate because the demand isn't as high.

They choose to edit some things that were said actually, they managed to edit out other things, which they were concerned would cause offence. They failed to protect him, and other people.

Oh look, my comment got deleted. Shock.

Thank you all for proving my point 👍🏻

No you are not unreasonable at ALL. I have worked extensively with special needs/ severe disabilities and even so I really don’t think that inclusivity should come at the cost of other full paying customers. We had similar at the Paddington Bear experience, and for anyone that’s been its only like 90 minutes and VERY expensive. There was an adult with special needs there and he was obviously very Paddington Bear obsessed, he had clearly been many times before as pre-empted every surprise/ event before it had happened, ruining the surprise for all the children in our group. He also wouldn’t stop asking questions and being generally loud and overbearing, getting upset if he wasn’t picked to do certain tasks and then the staff feeling guilty and letting him do it (he was an adult, but I understand mental age was probably much younger) meaning in every area of the experience he got to do most things first/ all together.

Was really annoying in the end.

So you are NOT unreasonable in the slightest!

You specified a specific show, I merely sent you the link to their different type of non-standard performances. There are signed performances, chilled performances and not just relaxed performances.

The Cambridge theatre seats 1200 people. If the demand was there, they'd schedule more.

Please tell me, a know it all, how often they should stage relaxed performances, BSL performances, chilled performances?

And when is the next performance specifically for people who can’t cope with disruption? If you’re insisting that all performances should be accessible to loud people.

Clue: there isn’t one

Ofher disabilities exist - it isn’t all about people who can’t control their noise

How many theatres do you go to? I go to 4/5 live performance venues and none of them would find that in any way easy and it would cost them last space and lost revenue if it was physically possible, plus the cost of installation when most of these places are trembling on the brink of an economic cliff as it is.

I wiuld ask for a refund. The carers who took the person must have known that nobody else would be able to enjoy an evening out that they have paid good money for

Erik Weihenmayer summited Everest in 2001. I think he lost his sight as a teenager. He had a team of 19 people I believe. There is a good documentary called "touch the top of the world" if you are interested. Sorry I know this is a little off topic but its something I'm interested in.

I always think about certain job roles - so we wouldn’t allow someone paralysed from the neck down to join the fire service for example. Not everything is for everyone as a few people have said. And that’s ok.

But it isn't on the basis of disability; it's on the basis of behaviour, which is not the same.

Behaviour they can't help due to their disability.

Whether they can help it or not has no bearing here. A baby cannot help crying yet it’s not acceptable for them to be in a theatre screaming their heads off and annoying paying guests.

So in effect if someone with, say, Tourettes that manifested itself in repeated, loud and at various intervals shouted during a performance of a play - everyone in the theatre must put up with it or be considered an utterly ableist cunt for being annoyed by that?

There is no responsibility to be expected on the part of of the disabled person to not inconvenience a theatre full of people in that way?

While we're at it why don't we ban "normal" people who fidget, eat sweets, sneeze, whisper to each other? Eight months pregnant and need to get to the loo urgently? No, I'm sorry that would inconvenience others.

And so? Certain behaviours are not suitable for certain settings.

If their behaviour negatively impacts the experience and enjoyment of others. They cause issues so right to exclude them.

OP please don’t worry about those calling you ‘ableist’. Over 1700 people agree with you. If it happens again please do complain there and then and push to get that person removed regardless of the reason for their disruption. It shouldn’t be tolerated.

I might ask at our equally shit local club though because if they could accommodate in some way, maybe he would be thrilled regardless of who is playing,

worth an ask

No this sounds amazing, I like Everest stuff though my experiences is limited to reading Jon Krakauer, will defo give this a watch