Going out at night.

[londongirloftwo]

Hello!

I'd like to watch the England and Mexico game at a local pub to me. Though not one I have been to before. It's well known as a well looked after pub with lovely food. More 'upmarket' than some.

My husband is against it as the game finishes at 3am / 4am and I would be walking home. Bit moody and doesn't see why I can't watch it at home. I've explained I'd like to enjoy the game with others keen to see the England game and cheer with them at each goal or even a win!

I feel this is unfair. I am in my forties. I have been on evenings out before. He likes to be awake when I get back. But on Monday is working so can't stay up.

Am I being unfair? Am I wrong to feel it is slightly controlling, or have I got this wrong and he is simply worried.

Thanks for perspectives on this.

I lived in a rougher part of SE London than OP, but v near Greenwich, for 12 years.

I never went out alone after about 11pm. If I was at a party I’d leave earlier than I’d have actually liked so I wasn’t relying on the very last train home, and I’d ask DH to wait up, but I rarely went out late without him. Most of the crime in the area was either petty thieves and muggings, or proper big time drug dealers, but you never know as a PP said about walking past doorways and side streets.

It’s crap being a woman.

So sorry for those on the thread who’ve experienced horrific incidents.

I hope you enjoy your night and get home ok OP. It’s not fair that we have to live like this.

Yes, I always use an uber. I know many people feel they’re unsafe but I feel it keeps me safe and I’m a heavy uber user.

@HeyThereDelila

It’s not fair that we have to live like this.

Absolutely agree. This frustrates me so much.

The question here shouldn’t be “Is it worth the risk to walk home alone late at night?” but “Does the OP’s husband have any right to make the decision for her rather than letting her assess the risk for herself?‘

Regardless of what the answer is to question 1, the answer to question 2 is always, without exception, no.

@londongirloftwo Vanbrugh was my local pub for years. I wouldn't walk around in that area by myself, there were a few issues around the station late night and also no one is out and about on the streets there. I would go to a pub in cutty sark or on Trafalgar road though, I will be fine taking an Uber or a bus back from there. Btw you have 24 hour buses in that area, so you will be fine taking one back I guess.

Sounds like genuine concern, unless he has form for telling you what you can do.

Can you compromise and maybe get a taxi? Of course, if it’s 2 minutes walk away that won’t be necessary.

It’s delayed now so at this rate you’ll be heading home when it’s daylight - enjoy your evening

Did you go OP? I hope you did. Our local pub was so much fun. Walked home in the light of the moon and the rising Sun. It didn’t feel dangerous at all. I loved passing people in the street laughing and full of joy. Having a small brandy from the cooking cupboard then off to bed. Great night in the pub.

I was going to watch in a nearby pub in west London. 20 mins walk away. Once the match was delayed I decided to stay home to watch but not due to safety reasons just I couldn’t be bothered to wait another hour to go out. I’m now having a post match cuppa in the garden and realising I can’t remember the last time I was up to see the sun rise.
I don’t think the pubs will have just been full of men. Loads of my friends were going out to watch.