You do not have to be rich to have a breakdown

[UndertheCedartree]

I heard this recently - you have to be rich to have a breakdown. Meaning that those who are not wealthy have to 'just get on with it.' They can't have a mental breakdown as they have to work etc.

I really disagree with this. I had a serious mental breakdown and I can assure people that psychiatric hospitals are not full of wealthy people. I think this narrative is really dangerous as it makes people think they 'don't have time' to look after their mental health and the trouble is this then means a serious breakdown is more likely and at that point it is really not a choice. When you get sectioned you don't get a choice as to if you 'want' to have a breakdown or not as you need to work.

I think this also disproportionately affects women as there is the added narrative that you have to 'just get on with it' with the home and children. The truth is there are many mothers in hospital like I was.

I encourage people to choose to look after their mental health as otherwise you may end up being forced to look after it. Obviously, I'm not saying that you can always prevent these things but early intervention seems to have better outcomes.

I'm not sure why you want to be in some competition as to who is more unwell. I find it very strange and very unhealthy. For what it is worth I'm sure you are unwell but you don't need anyone's validation. I'd like to draw a line under this as I don't think it is doing you any good. I hope you seek the support that you need.

I get what you mean but I think it's about knowing where to draw the line. So yes taking a week off or going to a spa is a bit silly. But what if by not seeking support you end up having a mental breakdown and then there is noone to do the caring role or earn a wage for an extended time? I think that is the point it becomes dangerous.

I think ignoring the reality that poorer women are more likely to be judged by authority figures is ignoring the truth.

There are some people who I'd advise to do anything but seek help from anyone "official" and send them to charities or agencies that I know will understand why that would really have to be a last resort for them due to systemic prejudice.

I respectfully disagree. It certainly isn't used in that way by any of the health professionals here. Myself and many others have been crying every day or having panic attacks and that really is not what is meant by a mental breakdown. Gosh, I'd be having a mental breakdown every 5 minutes if that was the case. But that is the point to seek help and not just 'push through' so you can prevent a mental breakdown. I think downplaying what it is to have an actual mental breakdown is really unfair in so many ways. This is why mental health is not taken seriously by so many.

I think when you are mentally unwell you often can't see the wood for the trees. It is good your manager had that insight. I think once you've been through it you know how quickly it can go from just coping to not coping atall without a chance to catch it.

Write the full agreed definition of what a mental breakdown is, according to mental health professionals in the UK. Or even post a link.

Oh no, I definitely agree with you on that, I've seen it first hand. But I also have met many, many poor women in hospital and there are diverse experiences. I think it is about finding that balance between the risk of asking for help vs the risk of not asking for help. I would say the majority of women needing longer hospitalisation lost their children but not all. However, those needing a short stay/home treatment it was more varied. Obviously it depends on what support the woman had too.

There is a lot of meaning behind the statement, but I don’t think the intention matches your interpretation.

First of all, not everyone is going to define breakdown as a complete breakdown. That may be accurate, but in common language, the term is used more broadly.

Second, it is very much true that someone with resources can see signs of mental health issues and do things to address them early. Someone with fewer resources is often forced to keep going while their health continues to deteriorate.

So in some ways it is a statement that wealthy people are weak. In others, it is an accurate statement of the reality that people with resources have the ability to address mental health problems at a much earlier stage.

No one in true crisis can keep going. The point of the statement is that the wealthy can pause and address the issue before the crisis happens.

Yes, I see what you mean. It is easier for wealthy people to get that earlier help. But that is exactly why I feel we need to stop telling poorer women that they have to just get on with it. We need to encourage everyone to look after their mental health at an earlier stage. I wish I had done so. I wish I didn't think I had to carry on and push through. Because ultimately I had to stop working and was separated from my children. I was forced to do so - it would have been much better as a choice earlier on and I could have maybe had less time away from them and kept my job. I have such a different perspective on it now.

I take your point people using breakdown differently and maybe that was the case here. It feels so minimising to me. And makes no sense. When a car breaks down it stops. You can't use it. When I had a breakdown I completely stopped. Nothing worked. It wasn't just lying in bed for a week and crying. I couldn't sleep anymore, I couldn't eat, I couldn't care for myself or my DC, I couldn't think, couldn't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. No part of me was functioning. I obviously find that usage very triggering!

I agree with most of your posts on this thread it seens to me op is only seeing things through their own lense. You, me and others are sharing their experiences or things they know and op seens to be saying no that couldn't have happend or then it wasn't a break down. There's an assumption if a person was that unwell they would seek help. Some people don't even know how unwell they are. Some people can't think straight or logically there for may not seek help.

I also believe people can mask for a long time or simply no one knows. I didn't even have a gp for over 3 years. At one point my children were of school for a while. There was a welfare check from the school all that happend was dd waved out of the window and I got threatened with a fine. Apart from my children I can go weeks without talking to anyone. So no one would know what was going on for me mentally.

Also I mentioned earlier that I would be scared my children could be taken away. Someone else said something similar. And op said that if the person seeks help sooner that less likely to happen. But if the person has that fear then some will be scared to seek help early. Yes it makes sense to seek help early in a logic way. But not everyone is logic when they are struggling mentally. And some are just to scared.

Anyway I believe everyone's experience of mental health is different its not black and white.

Though money alone will never cure you it can cushion the blow. I had what I would call a total breakdown when my DD died. I was totally fine one minute and then DD dying caused a MH crisis. It wasn’t a slow and steady decline.We paid for help immediately. I had longer therapy that was free but initially I paid to see someone weekly at £60 PH. I also ended up retiring at 54 so I could concentrate on my younger child, we retained the same standard of living

I would suggest maybe the rich don't need to reach crisis point? As others have said in the thread they can afford a break away from the mundane, are likely to have fewer worries about job security so feel more able to utilise sick leave (or even work in jobs where there is a decent sick leave policy), have savings as a back up. They are more likely to have a strong support network and can pay privately (waiting lists for metal health on the NHS are never ending). This means they are perhaps more likely to have early intervention and it to be covered up before they reach breaking point.

I’ve never heard of this at all. My mum is very much working class and has been sectioned multiple times, I’ve visited her in the units she has stayed in and 95% of the people were the same.

I’ve never heard of this at all. My mum is very much working class and has been sectioned multiple times, I’ve visited her in the units she has stayed in and 95% of the people were the same.

I heard this nonsense on a mumsnet thread recently.

I'm sorry if I came across dismissive. I'm not saying people don't carry on, but just that it may not go on forever. People can be very unwell, I was. But it led to something worse - a full breakdown and then you can't mask or pretend to function because you can't do anything. Your body can't go on indefinitely with no sleep or food etc. I also am not assuming people would seek help, I am saying it is beneficial to seek help before it gets so bad you have no insight or whatever.

I masked for a long time, but if things get worse eventually you can't. You say you had a welfare check but presumably you answered the door. What if you hadn't on the 3rd, 4th, 5th check? What if noone had heard from you for months? These things happen and it is an awful experience for the children and mother alike. I'd just never like to see a friend go through what I and many other women go through.

I fully accept that people don't seek help for fear of children being removed. Again, that was me. I was just saying the reason I encourage friends to seek help early is because it usually has better outcomes. I'm saying I think it is wrong that people feel they can't seek help and I'd like to see things change so women don't feel like that.

I'm sorry your DD died 🌸 I can't imagine the pain.

That was great you were able to access therapy quickly and for a good duration. Did you use medication too? Only if you feel comfortable answering. I agree being able to pay privately is helpful.

Yes, this is exactly it. I think being able to get that help before crisis point is what is so beneficial. It is easier when you are wealthy. I do think everyone should feel more able to take that break when needed and I wish I had. It would have been a financial hit but much less than the result of my breakdown and less of an impact on my children. We have less money now but are all alive and well which is the main thing.

I agree that particularly in acute or PICU the majority are lower income, ime.

To those people who’re saying they’re severely mentally ill and just ‘powered through’, etc, I hope you realise it comes across as saying those of us who couldn’t ’power through’ just weren’t trying hard enough.

I get that you would tell friends to seek help early. But that's if the friend says something in the first place. In mycase if I was struggling of what ever level there's not a hope in hell of me telling anyone.

Your full breakdown is personal to you. You couldn't mask any longer that's your experience. That doesn't mean its others peoples experience.

With the hospital where somone is in hospital due to a breakdown. Doesn't mean the person not in hospital is not unwell enough. NHS is stretched . It also depends on the mental health team/doctors ect. You could have one professional that says the person need to be in hospital. Another professional can say they don't .
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I know someone with sycosis. She's hearing voices. She's doing lots if things that are dangerous. Theres voices telling her to hurt het adult child who's pregnant and she's had to come and stay at my house to be safe. A few days back an ambulance was called. They managed to persuade her to go to hospital. In the ambulance she was smacking herself punching herself in the head and stomach ahd screaming shouting things like stop shaking me when no one was.

In the mental health assessment she was telling people to stop hurting her when no one was near her. Yet she passed the mental health assessment with flying colours and was sent home.

I know that's not depression /breakdown but I'm just trying to point out the people who clearly need mental health help don't always get it.

Sounds like a breakdown to me. I hope your friend can access help sooner rather than later. 💐.