You do not have to be rich to have a breakdown

[UndertheCedartree]

I heard this recently - you have to be rich to have a breakdown. Meaning that those who are not wealthy have to 'just get on with it.' They can't have a mental breakdown as they have to work etc.

I really disagree with this. I had a serious mental breakdown and I can assure people that psychiatric hospitals are not full of wealthy people. I think this narrative is really dangerous as it makes people think they 'don't have time' to look after their mental health and the trouble is this then means a serious breakdown is more likely and at that point it is really not a choice. When you get sectioned you don't get a choice as to if you 'want' to have a breakdown or not as you need to work.

I think this also disproportionately affects women as there is the added narrative that you have to 'just get on with it' with the home and children. The truth is there are many mothers in hospital like I was.

I encourage people to choose to look after their mental health as otherwise you may end up being forced to look after it. Obviously, I'm not saying that you can always prevent these things but early intervention seems to have better outcomes.

I assumed it was a discussion forum that you found the thread on, so thought you would have discussed your POV that’s all.

I mean that's an exaggeration. In that many do seek help and indeed if you seek help earlier you are less likely to lose those things. As I said I think telling poor women they 'can't' seek help as they will lose all those things then means many don't and some will go on to have a mental breakdown and then be more likely to lose those things. Myself I lost my job but not my kids or my home, fortunately. I appreciate the risk of that is greater for some people.

I have bipolar disorder and have pushed through many severe episodes.

I’ve seen people post this on Mumsnet threads.

usually ones about how people with anxiety should just get on with it.

i had a breakdown and it came with seizures, loss of memory, and a sort of catatonic coma. If my kids weren’t at uni someone would have had to deal with them because I had no connection to reality at all.

I'm sorry to hear you had to stop your degree. I'm glad you managed to get help and work were supportive. Those 6 week therapy courses are so short. I don't know if you know but there are different levels you can move up (depending what level you started on). You could therefore get further therapy by moving up - although you will have to wait again and get a different therapist so not necessarily a suitable option, but just thought I'd mention it.

I’ve never heard this and would actually say it’s more likely the lower earners/class group who deal with more MH issues. Interestingly, there does seem to be a correlation between MH and money.
More money = living an easier life/able to buy more resources to help.
I live in a very middle class area with the mid-higher earners (on average for my city) and there’s not anyone suffering MH publicly. I work for the LA and there are streets/blocks full of people who all have some sort of MH to a degree and very brazen about it.

I'm saying that those who have a mental breakdown many who are hospitalised, some may have intense home treatment do not have a choice in the matter and therefore it can affect anyone rich or poor. I am suggesting the narrative that you have to 'just get on with it' as you have a job etc is dangerous as it stops people seeking help which may then lead to them being more likely to have a breakdown which can lead to being sectioned or voluntary admission and this may be for weeks/months/years - really depends on a whole host of things. But at that point your choice is either limited or non-existant.

It absolutely doesn't make anyone's struggles less valid, worthy of empathy, support and treatment no matter how mild or severe their illness. However, what I am referring to is a mental breakdown in which you are unable to function in any way.

The problem with just getting on with things as you don't want your children in care is that then leads to you not seeking help at an earlier stage and this could lead to a worsening of mental health that could lead to a breakdown and you having no choice than for your children to go into care. I wish I had fully understood that before my breakdown.

As for therapy, of course it is much easier to access with money. But if you feel it could helpful I don't know if you have explored NHS options. I know at the IAPT level it is very limited but some find it helpful particularly in combination with medication.

It's not something people talk about on wards as either you are too unwell to have insight or you are well enough to know you weren't able to just carry on indefinitely.

It was a new one on me in terms of rich/poor. However, not in terms of men/women. I've experienced the expectation as a mum I should be able to 'get on with it' over the dad.

It was a long thread and the discussion had moved on and also it was a side point to the main discussion. I was also just lurking on the thread!

Fb perchance 😂

Yes, and that is the case with all serious mental illness which is why this narrative is so harmful. Some people with more moderate mental illness might be able to manage but others are risking severe outcomes. Early intervention leads to better outcomes. And I do think it is disrespectful to people with serious mental illness to suggest they should have 'just got on with it' rather than 'choosing' to have a mental health crisis.

The point is you risk losing everything by doing that. That is your choice. But I don't think people should be encouraged to do that. It's irresponsible.

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you are doing better now?

No one is encouraging anyone to do that. I’m just stating that it is possible for some people to carry on and appear functioning despite being severely unwell.

Thank you for the explanations. So it is not being able to get out of bed or crying uncontrollably or being in a catatonic coma? I saw a few people mentioned schizophrenia and bipolar episodes but I would see those as in their own category? Have I understood correctly?

Women and particularly mums do feel pressure 'to get on with it'. Someone reading your posts about being severely unwell and only appearing to be functioning but just getting on with it anyway may indeed feel they should do that too. But ultimately, where is your line at which it is ok to ask for help? Because if someone has had a mental breakdown and is not functioning atall at a certain point they won't be appearing to function anymore. When the children haven't been turning up for school, when the person is severely malnourished, when they are psychotic, when they have completed suicide. It is a dangerous path to walk. I hope you have some support in your life and for any children you may have. I do really worry for you and wish you well.

"it is possible for some people to carry on and appear functioning despite being severely unwell"

This is so true.

Depending on your responsibilities and support (lack thereof) it's incredible what you can push through. Regardless of whether it would be healthier not to.

Of course there's a point where hospitalisation might be unavoidable. But many women are in deep distress and pushing through, feeling there's no choice.

I've seen a thread on here where a huge number of people said they wouldn't mind the opportunity to be in prison or hospital for a while, just to get a break.

Personally I've dealt with many things that, if you'd told me pre-dc, I'd have said no way could I cope with that, I'd go under.

No, I don’t think they would take that from reading my posts.

It is actually your posts that say that if you are functioning, in anyway, then you can’t be that unwell, not mine.

Not just about being rich-sometimes some people have everyone in their life ill at once, and no one to help, so they can't go for counselling/take time to relax etc.
Some get frustrated when well-meaning coworkers say you should take a week off/go to a spa/get therapy when you lose a parent, because you just don't have anyone else to do the caring roles and can't take time out for counselling/to relax/can't risk being without your wage.
I guess being rich means you would have staff to do this, so you can take your time, and you wouldn't need to worry about being off work to look after your health.

So a mental breakdown refers to not being able to function atall but the diagnosis as to what has caused it can be many things - it could be severe trauma or depression but also could be schizophrenia or bipolar. The breakdown is the symptom and the cause could be a range of things.

There is no actual definition of what a mental breakdown is. It’s just a short hand way of saying the person is really suffering and finding it difficult to function (not that they aren’t able to at all). It could mean a person is crying everyday, having panic attacks etc

Honestly, I found primary care mental health services largely useless except for getting me seeing that counsellor quickly, but they was only after a fight that I wasn't really up to having - I was initially told to try mindfulness, which was not an appropriate response to my situation.

My work was great - my manager had actually had a breakdown about 20 years earlier and was very supportive. Work itself was contributing to the stress but wasn't the main issue. I didn't even think of asking for time off, left to myself I'd have carried on until I couldn't anymore. I couldn't see any options except just keep going.

But hospital could be very avoidable if women didn't feel the need to push through regardless of if it would be healthier not to. I never thought it would happen to me...but mental illness can happen to anyone no matter how strong you think you are or how many things you have coped with.

And honestly, I wouldn't mind going to a general hospital for a break on a nice quiet ward. But not sure how many would enjoy their break in a psychiatric ward...especially when they find they can't leave and go home to their children.