You do not have to be rich to have a breakdown

[UndertheCedartree]

I heard this recently - you have to be rich to have a breakdown. Meaning that those who are not wealthy have to 'just get on with it.' They can't have a mental breakdown as they have to work etc.

I really disagree with this. I had a serious mental breakdown and I can assure people that psychiatric hospitals are not full of wealthy people. I think this narrative is really dangerous as it makes people think they 'don't have time' to look after their mental health and the trouble is this then means a serious breakdown is more likely and at that point it is really not a choice. When you get sectioned you don't get a choice as to if you 'want' to have a breakdown or not as you need to work.

I think this also disproportionately affects women as there is the added narrative that you have to 'just get on with it' with the home and children. The truth is there are many mothers in hospital like I was.

I encourage people to choose to look after their mental health as otherwise you may end up being forced to look after it. Obviously, I'm not saying that you can always prevent these things but early intervention seems to have better outcomes.

There’s an element of truth to this. I’ve had family members who have been sectioned. They all came from extreme poverty. One had awful childhood sexual abuse. Clearly their trajectory would have happened regardless of income.

I have had a lot of barriers in my life. Mental health hasn’t always been great, but yes, I’ve definitely had to get on with it far more than someone who’s got more support or financial cushions. My sister in law being a prime example. Completely enabled by her own family of origin and husband.

I could only break down if I had experienced major trauma. Child death, severe illness, accident, injury etc. Other than that I just have to get on with it but have used very unhealthy coping mechanisms like binge eating etc to get me through. It also takes it toll on how you look and age physically - if you’ve had a lot more knocks than the average.

Did you challenge them?

Sounds like you are doing as much as you can - and therapy and medication etc are hard work in themselves! But your insight will really hold you in good stead, even if it doesn't always feel like it. And your supportive partner is fab too.

I feel the same as you, not self pitying at all.

I am doing ok, thank you for asking. Also have a therapist and meds and luckily learnt a lot of coping skills in hospital. As I'm sure you understand life can be a struggle but I am just so grateful to still be here and have my children.

Who said it to you?

Do you think they were just having a laugh or something?

I see what you are saying. But that narrative ignores what happens to poor women when they can't go on any longer...they lose everything including often their children. I imagine for some women they fear their children being taken if they ask for help so it is a catch 22.

Is it? I don't think so hence starting a discussion.

OP read it on another internet forum apparently but won’t say if she challenged it.

I was being sarcastic

Does the OP have a link?

Why is the OP so bothered about what one random person said on a random forum that was probably just a joke?

I think they more mean people who ‘take to their beds’ type of breakdown, not a full on mental health crisis. I would almost say there are more people from lower economic backgrounds in state hospital psychiatric wards as wealthier people might afford private institutions. I found the amount of young people surprising when my friend was sectioned.

It isnt ignoring it, it is highlighting the issue. Poor women can't seek help for their health issues because they'd lose their kids/jobs/homes/etc

I know nervous breakdown is an outdated term but I'm amazed that so many people don't know what it is. My grandad had one, I suspect now that he was undiagnosed autistic and it was autistic burnout. He wasn't rich at all, actually very poor, the saying is obviously just a silly thing that the less wealthy say to demonstrate how hard working/capable/resilient they are.

I think we'll have to agree to disagree. I don't think masking should be used as a reason not to get support and treatment. Without treatment the masking may eventually crack. I don't think it is worth the risk to end up in hospital potentially for many years. I used to be able to mask...until I couldn't. Yes, I was very unwell before...and then it got worse. When that happens to you it puts a lot of things into perspective. It's not a competition as to who is more unwell, all mental illness is distressing. However, in my opinion those who are hospitalised long term are the most unwell and at that point you are simply unable to function. I am not saying this is you but there are definitely some people who claim to be most severely unwell but are still able to work, look after children etc. I feel that is an insult to the experience of those who are locked in hospitals unable to do anything and I don't think it helps with awareness.

I had to be signed off work for five weeks with stress a few years ago. Honestly, I probably needed longer. I was fortunate in that work were supportive - it was actually my manager who suggested it - and primary care mental health services got me seeing a counsellor very quickly, and she got me an extra two sessions on top of the standard six because she was worried about me.

The downsides were that the things causing stress were not things that could easily be resolved, though I was at least able to remove a few things off my plate, most distressingly at the time, an Open University degree I'd started.

Are you talking about those that are so unwell they are in hospital long term or those that are unwell, get sectioned for weeks/ a couple of months? Because those two groups are not the same and I can’t imagine anyone ever thinking people held for years are in any way well.

To be fair I would say everyone I met in hospital had experienced major trauma, sadly. Having said that it doesn't mean you don't deserve to get support for your mental health now for your quality of life. And you should because trauma can hit anyone.

We all have different circumstances that make things easier or more difficult. But has your SIL had a breakdown and if so do you think she wouldn't have had if she was poorer? I understand someone may not do something if they don't have to like work. But noone chooses to not sleep, eat, shower, change clothes for months on end, I wouldn't have thought.

No, they genuinely believed it.

Oh and to the person demanding I say if I challenged it - no, as it would have derailed the thread.

Oh were you? I don't always pick up on sarcasm sorry. But surely everyone knows an opinion is just an opinion. Some may agree, some may disagree. But I think it is a worthy topic to discuss.

I think it depends on the person. My depression would be different to yours and other people's on the thread. Theres also masking. One of the things for me is my house gets extremely messy. Thats one of my things. But i also see people saying I have depression and my house is tidy.
A while back i didn't eat at all for weeks. I have never been in hospital and I'm not medicated but I don't think that makes my struggles less valid. There are bits I just get on with because I don't want my children to end up in care.

I do wonder if things would be different if i could afford private therapy. Butbi don't know any different.

Mental health doesn't choose rich pr poor.

Why can't you signpost us to this nonsensical statement?

It wasn't a joke and not one person. However, it is an important topic to me and one I wanted to discuss.

It does beg the question why you are bothered about what one random person wants to talk about on a discussion forum?

I see your point. I wish people wouldn't use breakdown in that way though as it really isn't helpful or empathetic to those suffering severely. I would agree there are more from lower economic backgrounds in hospitals. There are many NHS patients in private hospitals too due to lack of beds. And yes a lot of very young, although I hope it means they can get help and support at a younger age and be able to have a better life as a result of getting help earlier. I know it doesn't always work out like that, though.

Also why would you think someone would joke about something so serious. Weird response, imo.

Ive never heard this phrase and I have worked on both NHS psych wards and also at The Priory.

I can confirm that psychiatric disorders affect both rich and poor alike in equal measure.

In fact, chronic poor mental health often renders people unable to work so it can negatively affect your ability to earn

There’s a limit to how much someone can mask eg severe major depression or bipolar disorder. At some point it will all come crashing down. You can’t “I’m fine” or “power through” bipolar disorder.