To think the younger MN generation would be shocked at things we did decades ago...

[Allonthesametrain]

It was such a different time, before the days of hand gel, smartphones, ordering online, house cctv, awareness etc.

This is from a background of a good home with values, DF worked hard, DM did everything for us 3 DC and also worked early before we got up and during school hours when we of that age.

Things we would do...

All 3 have a bath together every night when young, also go into after bath DF or DM.

Most clothes were hand me downs/passed on from friends and neighbours and anything new was for a special occasion.

If we wanted anything special we had to wait until Christmas or birthdays and were delighted and grateful

Lucky to have a house phone, it was in the hall way so no privacy and a shout how long are you going to be on there if you rang out

Bedrooms were sparse, we put colour on our walls with posters we got from magazines

Fun time meeting your friends, on foot or bikes, roller boots, usually at the school you've been at all day because it was known and had no big fences around it.

We collected tapes, later CDs, which we listened to over again and had to rewind, also recorded from friends on a double deck

Recorded our favourite songs from the radio, had to pause before next one to not include the DJ's blitherings

Young teens, oldest looking member of group bought a couple of 2L cheapest cider, we all drank from

Pubs, rarely enough loo roll, we never thought to bring our own, wipe by hand or drip dry

Need a wee, you went anywhere

You walked to meet your friends then walked/staggered back, split up on way to walk on your own as girls

You didn't dare argue with a teacher, even when it was unfair as a good student

If you went to university it was a shared bathroom and kitchen between 12, one tine fridge, old pans. Then when you moved out to house share the furniture was from the 1940s, mattresses had springs sticking out, slugs were a normal practice to put outside.

You qualify, get your own first flat, most basic furnished, the slug relatives are there, you still have to go to the laundrette as no washing machine. Single glazing, you put your own film up to help.

This was if lucky, friends from less privileged areas and backgrounds were left to roam, hungry, sniffed glue, caused chaos, were always dirty, same clothes every day. When 'naughty' they were beaten by their parents and disrespected, often hit by teachers.

Things have progressed so much but there are still many living this life within their homes.

So, with the observation of MN posts about things like should I be upset about DC not being offered his favourite food at lunch time just seems so trivial compared to the reality of us as older parents.

Are younger parents picking arguments about what could be deemed as insignificant just because they can now on SM?

Yeah, I know, I will seem as a dinosaur, but Im not. Basic values need to come from home, which we as gen X experienced growing up. When you're a young child and all you know is instant gratification from screens then this is their norm, then going forward their DC. Not saying all parents do this, of course not, but sadly many do.

My point? Oh yes, growing up in harsher times, which wasn't ideal at all but it was what it was and now we appreciate the positives of now, but without knowing what it was like before is it difficult to appreciate and not succumb to a lazier way of parenting?

Well yes, but similarly no upskirting, Zero tolerance of abusive, sexualised language in the classroom, respite from bullying when you were in your own home as snap chat and WhatsApp didn’t follow you into your bedroom. Like most things, VAWG has taken steps back even as it has progressed.

And in some upper-middle and upper-class environments, it’s about the fact that your battered blazer, school trunk and tuckbox were your grandfather’s when he was in the same house at your school, not like those dreadful nouveau riche types who buy everything brand-new — it’s about being ancestrally part of the tribe. Absolutely a class thing. The ‘joke’ being on the nouveau riche parents who don’t get that their child’s spanking new kit might as well come with a label saying ‘NQOT’.

There was a Tatler article someone linked on here ages ago about the Middleton sisters at Marlborough, full of apparently admiring quotes from other parents mentioning how new and pristine all their school kit and sports equipment always were, and how well turned out they were, and what an impressive picnic the parents always brought for sports day. In other words saying they were terrible try-hards who overcompensated, and that those in the tribe wore ancient uniforms, used their great-grandmother’s hockey stick, and rocked up at sports day with crisps.

Shoes? That were luxury!

I was born well before the 60s and (except perhaps when very little) we didn’t share baths either. But then we always had a house with a proper bathroom, and hot water on tap (even when we had only a solid fuel boiler, no CH).

A lot of families weren’t so lucky.

One thing I do often remember now, is that there was no question of disliking/refusing to eat, whatever our mother had cooked. That was dinner, and if you didn’t like it you went without. No ‘requests’ or alternatives, ever.

Same with school dinners. No choice, that was it. We probably often made faces and moaned, but if you didn’t eat it, you went hungry.

I am 64. From a fairly working class background, council house etc. I recognise a lot of the things in this post. But the toilet paper problem? Grim! I certainly don't remember having to do anything like that.

I actually think young people, if they’re aware, look back on this previous generation’s life as idyllic. Work hard at your education, get a decent job, move into a flat share, meet a partner, then buy somewhere together.

It’s not a lot to ask for, but sadly the reality of attaining any of those things is rapidly receding into the past for almost all young people, apart from the very privileged and/or ambitious.

Oh gosh yes “the romantic stupidity of the mix tape”!

I remember in the early 90s a new acquaintance suggested we give each other a mix tape of our favourite songs. I spent a whole Sunday afternoon recording it, but when I gave it to her she looked really pissed off.

It turned out that it was because I also didn’t spend ages making a really creative cover design like she had - I just wrote her name and the date. So precious!

It is also like this with supermarkets and food labels/brands.

I live in a very middle class and in fact frankly posh expensive area of London. When a Lidl recently opened locally it was filled with wealthy locals and the local chat forum was full of threads with people praising the cheap produce and comparing 'finds'. At the same time there was a thread on here with people describing how they placed their Lidl/Aldi shopping into reused Waitrose or similar bags so that they would not be seen and hid their Tesco Value (or whatever it is called) shopping at the bottom of their trolley.

It is a sort of poverty tax, but a self-inflicted one.

My Mum & Dad divorced in the early 70's, Mum had always worked during the marriage in some form or another and Dad was exceptionally well paid. He was a serial cheater and after no 9, mum pulled the plug. She had us three kids, they got 50/50 on the substantial house. My Mum found a house that was near our schools and nr our family for childcare but it was a little more than the money she had from the divorce.

If she bought a cheaper house she would have lost in the long run with bus fares for us three and childcare issues. She could put 95% down but she only worked part time and on paper she had no disposable income Dad was very backwards at coming forwards with his payments for us. No bank would touch her without a male guarantor and the only person with the income on top of their own rent or mortgage was my Dad.

So my Dad had to be guarantor and this basically tied him into being able to financially abuse my mum in so many ways.

The system stank!

YABU- it’s nearly you are describing a time 50 years ago. 1976

50 years before that would be 1926 and life would be equally alien compared to 1976

Wiped by hand?!! 🤢

I never hitchhiked myself but me and my then BF picked up a few young couples in the mid-80s when we were driving back to our city from the countryside.

I'm 52. I can remember my mum having a bath immediately after me without changing water. We didn't have a shower until I was 12 (we had one of those rubber gadgets you probably can't get any more that you attached to the taps that had a shower head at the other end of a hose). We didn't have a telephone until I was 10 (so 1984). My clothes were almost always from jumble sales (which seem to have been replaced by more expensive charity shops). Never had a family holiday until I was 13 (holiday park, Isle of Wight, I was on a sofa bed).

It was called being poor. It was more common than you realise in the 1970s and early 80s.

I regularly had holes in my shoes and I was born much more recently than OP. My mum couldn't drive so we did walk to school - only 3 miles though - and obviously did so in all weather.

Poor people exist.

Same but we walked. Be gone all day wandering and exploring the hills and woods, lakes and rivers.
parents would have had a fit if they knew what we got up to. They never asked and we never told. When our bottle of water ran out we would drink from rivers and then sometimes finding a dead sheep upstream later.
It was idyllic and a lot safer than today. I wish the kids of now could experience that amount of freedom. I hate it when my 24 year old DD says she’s going for a walk. I pray really hard until she’s back.
I look back and think of my childhood as golden but I may be remembering through rose tinted glasses but compared to today’s I’m not sure.

You forgot to mention it was uphill both ways 😂

I’m 65 and relate to most of the OP. I’m v comfortable now but grew up in a poor household - we had a bath once a week, cardboard in shoes to make them last, coats on bed because of no central heating etc. No washing machine so when I was old enough, I had to take everything to the launderette once a week. We only got a colour tv when I started work and contributing. I had second hand furniture until my 40’s. It’s made me appreciate what a struggle it was for my parents but mum especially. We buy too much shit that we don’t need now and I love reusing what I have, up cycling and repurposing stuff as my mum and grans did before me. However, I remember the inequalities; everyday sexism, groping, domestic abuse too. My mum and aunts stayed married because tenancies were in their husband's name and they didn’t have access to a bank account until 1975.
I have some good and bad memories but on the whole many things are better.

I can remember my first portable telly.
We had one socket in my bedroom the only one upstairs. It was dodgy at best.
The telly was B&W and I had to dangle the aerial off the side of an airing cupboard.

Many people use a jug of water to wash after using the toilet

@SweetnsourNZ
💯

I remember wolf whistles when walking past a building site and a bum slap/ pinch being totally 'normal' in a pub. Thank God things have changed.

That sounds very messy!

I'm autistic and have sensory issues with food. I'm also Gen X. I used regularly go without rather than eating what was put in front of me. I'm astounded that I was 51 before I was diagnosed.

omg i do remember those awful sanitary belts that took forever to reloop making u late for class
and all my home made cassette tapes that never had the beginnings of any songs (coming right off the radio)
my dad coming home from work and always first taking off his fedora -worn by all professional men in the city
both my parents were professional, I was an early "latchkey kid" and had to wear a house key on a long piece of string under my dress
here in US, pants weren't allowed to be worn by girls in school until (my) 2nd grade...around 1970
we lived very humbly, (low earning white collar, trying to maintain in a town where most earned more) -
However, something I didn't notice in others' posts...although my dad too was a WW2 vet (and never talked about experience until very late in life, as others said too) ...something he Did talk about and practice heavily was Austerity-
meaning everything had to be rationed and limited:
only bare minimum toilet roll sections each use
turn out all lights if leaving room even for short bit
only a few inches tub water for a bath etc etc
and, I'm wondering if all this was because my parents were children of The Depression growing up
if memory serves from history lessons, I think it was way worse in 1930s America?
my maternal grandmother said people survived by shared food, if they had extra of something one week, they'd give to neighbors and vice versa...
my dad's dad was in the lucky minority of staying employed through it
The lesson my parents took away, the overriding mentality, was that every available cent went "to pay off the mortgage so the bank could never take u home away".

We had sanitary towels in a box from the school office ,it was like a compressed mattress and you pinned it to your knickers with safety pin.