To think the younger MN generation would be shocked at things we did decades ago...

[Allonthesametrain]

It was such a different time, before the days of hand gel, smartphones, ordering online, house cctv, awareness etc.

This is from a background of a good home with values, DF worked hard, DM did everything for us 3 DC and also worked early before we got up and during school hours when we of that age.

Things we would do...

All 3 have a bath together every night when young, also go into after bath DF or DM.

Most clothes were hand me downs/passed on from friends and neighbours and anything new was for a special occasion.

If we wanted anything special we had to wait until Christmas or birthdays and were delighted and grateful

Lucky to have a house phone, it was in the hall way so no privacy and a shout how long are you going to be on there if you rang out

Bedrooms were sparse, we put colour on our walls with posters we got from magazines

Fun time meeting your friends, on foot or bikes, roller boots, usually at the school you've been at all day because it was known and had no big fences around it.

We collected tapes, later CDs, which we listened to over again and had to rewind, also recorded from friends on a double deck

Recorded our favourite songs from the radio, had to pause before next one to not include the DJ's blitherings

Young teens, oldest looking member of group bought a couple of 2L cheapest cider, we all drank from

Pubs, rarely enough loo roll, we never thought to bring our own, wipe by hand or drip dry

Need a wee, you went anywhere

You walked to meet your friends then walked/staggered back, split up on way to walk on your own as girls

You didn't dare argue with a teacher, even when it was unfair as a good student

If you went to university it was a shared bathroom and kitchen between 12, one tine fridge, old pans. Then when you moved out to house share the furniture was from the 1940s, mattresses had springs sticking out, slugs were a normal practice to put outside.

You qualify, get your own first flat, most basic furnished, the slug relatives are there, you still have to go to the laundrette as no washing machine. Single glazing, you put your own film up to help.

This was if lucky, friends from less privileged areas and backgrounds were left to roam, hungry, sniffed glue, caused chaos, were always dirty, same clothes every day. When 'naughty' they were beaten by their parents and disrespected, often hit by teachers.

Things have progressed so much but there are still many living this life within their homes.

So, with the observation of MN posts about things like should I be upset about DC not being offered his favourite food at lunch time just seems so trivial compared to the reality of us as older parents.

Are younger parents picking arguments about what could be deemed as insignificant just because they can now on SM?

Yeah, I know, I will seem as a dinosaur, but Im not. Basic values need to come from home, which we as gen X experienced growing up. When you're a young child and all you know is instant gratification from screens then this is their norm, then going forward their DC. Not saying all parents do this, of course not, but sadly many do.

My point? Oh yes, growing up in harsher times, which wasn't ideal at all but it was what it was and now we appreciate the positives of now, but without knowing what it was like before is it difficult to appreciate and not succumb to a lazier way of parenting?

That reminds me of a time when I went out with my aunt and uncle. They were in the front with one of my cousin's children (bench seat), and in the back there was me, my adult cousin and her two other children. The youngest one was being potty trained, so when we got stuck in a queue of traffic, my cousin lifted up the carpet and emptied the potty through a small hole in the floor!

I hear you op!!!
My son is finishing year 6 next week and it seems to be a’thing’ that the kids at his school (ordinary village state school) are going in limos to the end of year party that’s been organised!! Yes 11 year olds. Going in limos!!!!
I have said absolutely no way!! It’s not like they’ve won a Nobel Peace Prize!!
What message is that sending to these kids?!
🙈🤷‍♀️

My dad never really spoke much about his time serving during WWII with us (his daughters), I learned so much more when he talked to my children about it. I wonder if it was still too recent for him and he didn’t want to burden us with those things.

Remember all this born 1964, my sisters nappies boiling on the stove. Shared a bath with my brother and sister until I was at least 10, my brother would have been 8. We used to play a game were we would wee in the bath snd then walk round the narrow boxed in edge until 1 of us fell in!! We thought it was hilarious and no we weren't very well supervised. I supervised my sibling often. Lots of scars from trees wardrobes falling on me etc. I am glad I was a child in the 70s we went out in the morning and came back when hungry. Fantastic. The world just didn't feel as dangerous. My children had much less freedom and my grandchildren even less.

I was born in 67 also. Bath was only on Sunday me and sister shared water as hot water ran out. I wore my sisters clothes. Nobody has a phone.

Apart from the stuff that has aged out by tech - who doesn’t do any of this now? My kids bathe together, wear hand me downs (why buy new when it’s covered in mud or pen marks by 11am?).

its only been a couple of decades since I was at uni and I was on a corridor of 12 to one set of toilets/showers too.

That is absolutely ridiculous. Where do you live? Nothing like this happens at our school, their Y6 party is loads of fun but not like a prom fffs

Born late 80s - shared baths on a Sunday, hand me down clothes, bread and butter with every meal to make it go further, only presents at birthday/Christmas, record music on tapes, latch key kids raising ourselves, watching the test card if you got up to early on a weekend, repairing clothes and shoes

But at the same time, my kids have hand me down clothes only presents birthday/Christmas, we repair clothes and shoes and every else we can manage, buy second hand when we can, pass things on before throwing away. I have very limited social media - just a Facebook account that's used for information rather than posting.

Just because the world has changed doesn't mean you can't take the best from the times before and be wary of the downsides of today..

My dad was a child during it. But you learnt to be aware of the past. I find today younger people are not interested in yesterday.

So much fun reminiscing about some of these things! Born 1975. Seven of us living in a two bedroom house. My parents slept in a sofa bed in the living room at one point. I always laugh hearing about how kids need their own bedroom these days. We had tartan legs from the gas fire - central heating in my teens though - songs taped from the radio, hand me downs. I was always delighted when the black bags arrived from a friend of my mums with their daughters clothes in them, as they were wealthier than us. We were lucky we had an estate car or a van. In the van, someone always had to sit over the wheel arch in the boot. I was sent to the shop with a note from my mum to hand over for sanitary towels. They were then handed over in a brown paper bag. Going to pop concerts as a teen, which were over 18s only. Dad used to wait outside in the car to see if we got in or were ‘knocked back’. We were very working class and didn’t have much money, although my mother was a great manager of money - she still is! Able to go to university on a student grant and with a part time job. On the whole, I was very happy and feel extremely lucky now when I look back. I don’t envy children now. There is so much pressure on them, not as many jobs or opportunities. Affording to buy a house can be challenging and I do think life is difficult for a lot of young people. Social media and smart phones mean your life can be posted online and you can be publicly shamed. Due to the manosphere, attitude and treatment of some boys towards girls and young women can be awful. It is alarming. I don’t think I have rose tinted spectacles. In my experience, life was easier and more carefree then.

That’s interesting.
I was born in 83 and grew in the NW.
Very working class area and family.
This could have been my childhood.

No, I don’t think they’d be all that shocked. Mainly because surely most people as they’re growing up, hear tales from their parents and grandparents about what their childhood was like. None of this is shocking, we all knew what life was like a few decades ago.

Yep, sharing baths was a thing. Partly as the water had to be heated up by a coal boiler ( winter) or immersion heater( summer)
Getting a basic electric shower fitted in the mid 80s was a huge luxury!

I share a bath with my husband in 2026 😂

Recognise quite a few of these and if not my house from my friends.

I think a lot of people did what they could to make limited money stretch further and kids had a lot of freedoms in the outside world.

I was born early 80s and would have shared a bath (and later bath water) with my brother. You'd only get one hot bath out of the water tank and expensive to heat it. We would shower daily on our teens but it was often cold.

My clothes were occasionally second hand from my cousin but then usually from a seconds shop, mainly because my mum only really knows people with same aged kids.

Everyone I knew taped stuff off the radio and burned CDs from the library/mates.

We would squeeze as many kids as possible in our car and in the boot. You had a lot more days out with your mates and other peoples parents.

Our holidays were either camping or to my nans. Most people I knew didn't really go abroad, or it was rare. We went 3 times before I was 18 and two of those times were to stay with family/friends.

I think there used to be a lot more general freedoms and casual arrangements and in some ways this is quite sad for our kids. They don't get the freedom to roam outside, spend actual physical time with their friends (people would be horrified to find someone else's DC at the door these days, they don't get to make stupid slightly unsafe choices when someone is going to worry.
But yet there is a whole life online in their bedrooms that is not always safe, even the access their peers have via WhatsApp and social media. Feels as though we don't allow them as much room to gain independence as kids.

My experience of freedom growing up in suburban areas is different to that of people I knew who grew up rurally and totally different to my dad's experience growing up in the 50s/60s. I'd say it's to do with population density and cars. So many more cars.

Pretty sure people still do wee anywhere though, public loos are so rarely open..

There is also a stigma that has grown about second hand things. Some of the poorest parents will absolutely not be seen to buy second hand uniform (but then neither will some of the wealthiest). Kids will never have second hand toys or bikes. Shame from a sustainability perspective. I think the idea of stretching your money to go as far as possible using whatever means possible is not always as prevalent as it used to be.

Born in 1970. Small country town in Australia. Bathed together with my sibling.
Had to have fire for hot water. Tried to chop the wood in such a way that it could to stacked in the hot water fire pit so it would burn slowly all night. Hoping for coals to remain early in the morning so it would easy to restart.
Hand me down clothes from my mother’s colleagues as she couldn’t afford new clothes for us.
She saved to buy a freezer so she could buy some foods in bulk to save money. She home cooked bread/biscuits etc so we could have similar to the other children at school.
Freezing left over contents of tinned foods so they wouldn’t be wasted.

More people than you “saw” had it tougher that you think.

It happens here. NW England. But not all the parents do it. Just the nutty ones.

To be fair most of the incel beliefs are from what was considered normal back then. They actually hate the way life has progressed under feminism. The whole trad wife is based on the past values of a wife being submissive.
We had porn magazines such as playboy where celebrities would pose nudes and witter on about being empowered when (most, not all) were just desperate for money and attention.
We had obscene phone calls and men flashed us in person, though I do think the internet has produced some unique problems due to speed and longevity.
Unfortunately perverts and scammers will always find a way

There is also a stigma that has grown about second hand things. Some of the poorest parents will absolutely not be seen to buy second hand uniform (but then neither will some of the wealthiest). Kids will never have second hand toys or bikes. Shame from a sustainability perspective. I think the idea of stretching your money to go as far as possible using whatever means possible is not always as prevalent as it used to be.

I think this is changing. It depends on your social circle but there's definitely a middle class movement where it's seen as trendy to go second hand. Charity shops are super trendy right now and second hand fashion really is making waves in places you wouldn't expect amongst slightly older and younger age groups than in the past.

It's how to do fast fashion sustainability and this is huge. I know a few people who effectively do it as an alternative to the likes of Shein. A friend of mine is constantly sending/ picking up stuff for her 14 year old daughter.

In 1970 when my husband was 6 or 7 he regularly got the bus across the city to go swimming training on his own. I remember doing PE at primary school in knickers and vest. Boys were allowed to wear shorts. That does seem a bit shocking now but it was the norm in the mid 1970's.

I can't relate to the toilet paper shortage either but everything else I can especially sharing baths .

There is also a stigma that has grown about second hand things. Some of the poorest parents will absolutely not be seen to buy second hand uniform (but then neither will some of the wealthiest). Kids will never have second hand toys or bikes. Shame from a sustainability perspective. I think the idea of stretching your money to go as far as possible using whatever means possible is not always as prevalent as it used to be.

I definitely have noticed this. There was a thread on here a while ago, something to do with private schooling and costs, I believe, but the details escape me. However the private school mothers were all talking about second hand uniform and then another poster, with kids at state school, was absolutely disbelieving that this would happen. There was a bit of a pile on about it that derailed the thread and it seemed very clear that second hand uniform is the norm in private schools more than state schools. I don't know the truth of it because I'm not in the UK.

I have noticed the same in my family though. One of my cousins most certainly has a chip on her shoulder about growing up in a council house and won't have anything passed down or second hand for her kids. She's pretty offended if anyone offers to pass on their old things. She also insists on stretching their finances to drive a BMW she can't afford because she is so desperate not to be seen as 'poor'. She has friends too with a similar attitude. She seems to have something to prove which I don't - my side of the family is much more 'middle class' (not saying I approve of or believe in all these distinctions or stereotypes but it's how I see other people looking at it). I drive a crappy car because at the moment that's not my priority, and I most certainly do second hand and passed down clothes and toys for my kids. And made them share baths. It seems normal among other mothers in my friendship group or in a similar financial position to me. When the school clothes bank sends out a WhatsApp with what's available we all jump on it in a most unseemly manner. I've been out with my cousin when the messages have come in and she's been horrified, doesn't get it at all. Mind you she also doesn't understand my love of FB Marketplace furniture bargains or skip trawling. She prefers to buy everything new, ideally from Next (among her friendship group that seems to tbe the touchstone for social mobility) rather than Ikea. She is genuinely worried what people will think of her if everything isn't bought brand new but can't see that these days what she's doing is a marker of the opposite to what she's trying to prove.

This is definitely not the way it was in the past, when the poorer in society were expected to have hand me downs and be happy with them and the current attitude is presumably a direct push back to that.

Op's life sounds very similar to mine (without the teenage drinking). I'm younger than you but sharing baths, wearing hand me downs and waiting until Christmas or birthdays for a nice surprise was normal. (As was getting necessary things like pants and socks as birthday presents.)

Bumping for later - what a great thread, thanks OP.

It's something of a class thing in the UK too.

There's more working class families desperate to prove they can provide and they aren't poor. And new clothes are prioritised as part of this mentality. They don't want their kids to stand out or be bullied.

The flip is that more middle class families feel secure in their social status so don't feel the need to prove they can provide in the same way so are more willing to have second hand clothes. And as I say, for some now it's about virtue signalling your green credentials. Or indeed, downplaying your wealth.

It's about image either way.

I know one woman who takes this all to the next level. She is desperate to prove she can provide for her daughter so her birthday party was always the biggest and her daughter never wore the same dress to a party twice etc etc. She would have something new for every non uniform day. Unfortunately she's on benefits and she over did it so much, especially with Shein stuff that it had the opposite effect to the one she ultimately intended and it marked her out rather than keeping up with the Jones.