To skint us all by sending DC to private school?

[Stilish]

One DC is at private school. This is because they have SEN and was really struggling at local comp. This was before the VAT issue. That DC is absolutely flourishing.

Next DC has no SEN and started at the local comp last year. Is not having a great time at all, it’s a really poor school in many ways and this DC has gone from happy and high achieving, to unhappy and failing academically in 12 months.

I want to send this DC to the private school too, where I know they will thrive like their sibling. But with the VAT it will be an incredible stretch for our family and I don’t know what to do. I have one happy child in a good school doing well, and one unhappy child in a crap school not doing well.

I hate Kier Starmer and I hate Rachel Reeves. Their spiteful tax hasn’t punished any of the rich families. But I’ve been homeless and my husband and I have grafted since our teenage years, and it’s bloody punishing us.

What on earth do I do?

YANBU - find a way and send them
YABU - keep one child in the local comp and let them keep failing

Well said

Ludicrous that the end result of this tax is that people who would have paid for private education are now claiming £8kpa state education, because the government thought it could get an extra £5kpa out of parents who were already saving them money by not using state schools. Next week, let's introduce a tax on everyone who hasn't been to the GP lately, anyone not regularly using the NHS must be too privileged.

But the public was not and is not subsidizing private schools?
It's the other way around. Parents pay for schools fees and don't take up a space in state school which apparently saves the state £6k. We should get that back now. It'd cover this VAT nonsense.

Not everyone thinks like you. Some countries even give a tax rebate if people pay for private education.

Only 6% of children in this country go to private school. That is far fewer than many countries. 60% of private schools are SEND schools.

The State sector has a huge amount of inequality in it. Some state schools are brilliant and some are truly terrible. I know because I have worked in both types. The government loves to whip up anger against private schools because it distracts people from worrying about the education system they are providing for 94% of children.

They aren't subsidising, in fact, they're doing the opposite. A child in private school costs the state zero to educate, a child in state costs £8kpa. The state decided they wanted it to cost less than zero and to actually make money off children in private school. What actually has happened is that many of those children are now claiming state education rather than paying VAT.

Oh good this again! ‘ subsidising’ state school while paying for private school? No you aren’t.

Taxes pay for lots of things but you don’t get to choose which ‘things’ you. We got from.

• I have barely darkened the door of a GPs room in my life, but my taxes pay for the NHS. I have a sibling who has no kids, friends who have no kids - they’re paying towards kids education in the UK, I have never claimed a benefit in my life but my taxes go to those who do, I didn’t get the free childcare hours, I’ll probably never get a state pension by the time I retire…

I could go on. Perhaps you should be glad that we are trying to properly educated the next generation of tax payers. I am.

Stick with the comp and get tutors for certain subjects. They’ve made a huge difference to my daughter’s grades (she’s in state grammar) and so much cheaper than private school.

Oh, and more fool you for paying for something that the majority of us don’t because we don’t have to.

I thought this too. Your income is really significant, especially as it is 50k each so doesn't take you over any thresholds. You may have to really comb through your finances and see if there's anywhere that you can make cuts.

Saying “I hate Keir Starmer and Rachel Reeves” is pathetic and petulant. There’s always a risk that people won’t be able to keep affording school fees. It’s been talked about on here often enough that if you can just afford it, you can’t afford it, and that was even without the VAT.

Going to a private school is a privilege over 90% of the population can’t afford or will otherwise never have, so the option is to get over it and go state like the rest of us. Not have a childish tantrum about the democratically elected government.

So you would be happy for being charged extra taxes to not use the NHS? Every year you DON'T go to an NHS doctor, you pay?

This! I'm sick of threads like this! Touch grass and see the real world for once and then see how "bad" you've got it!

And as for “spite and envy” yes I’m sure His Majesty’s Counsel, Prime Minister and First Lord of the Treasury, former Director of Public Prosecutions, is “envious” of anyone 😂

Well, I'm sure Keir Starmer isn't, since he went to private school.

Private schools add value to education, so therefore should pay ‘value added tax’. It’s a business. The state schools are there for all those not wanting or not able to afford to go private.

Try a different state school?

So you have low/no housing costs and you earn £100k as a household?

Sounds like you can afford to send them both private if you can send one.

I've known families where one child was sent to state and one private and it is a lifelong bitterness.

No, he passed the 11+ to go to Reigate Grammar School.

You are pretty well off to send your child though as the opportunity is out of reach for most people.

If the house is tied to your husband's job, does that mean you don't currently own a property or pay market price rent? If so, surely it's very risky to plough all of your money into private schooling in case his job circumstances change.

We were very lucky (well, we made sure we lived in an area with schools we knew would suit our children) with secondary state schools but I know that isn't the case everywhere.

We did the same for our two for the same reason. I ended up doing childminding for a few years to find the money for the second as we hadn’t planned for him to go until at least secondary level but felt we needed to be fair. Ironically, he was later also diagnosed as AuDHD like his sister (both had had their diagnoses missed in the state sector). Our youngest left 2 years ago and went on to a small [Ofsted Outstanding] local tech college for A levels as we couldn’t afford the VAT uplift with the elder one at uni - he has actually thrived there, too, as a result of the care and positive experience of his private school from Y5-11.

I’d try to find the money if you can - is it possible to consider withdrawing a little equity from your home to cover a few years VAT (20-30k say) and also to explore an interest only mortgage? We had an IO mortgage during the period of having both at the school together. It does mean that you may need to convert back to a repayment mortgage when they both finish (or when you only have one at school) and that this may need to be repaid over a 5year longer period, but it worked for us so that they/we didn’t feel on a day to day basis we were struggling to pay fees?

Don’t confuse bursaries (for those who pass the entrance tests but can’t afford full fees) with scholarships (for those who demonstrate extreme ability academically, sports,
drama etc). Bursaries are much higher. Scholarships are sometimes just a certificate.

Please also debate whether it’s worth it - your privately educated child will have to achieve much better results than a state educated child when applying to university. The theory is that the private teaching is better (but that is often not the case).

Your choices are to penny pinch and do without as much as possible to send your second child to the same school, to keep him at the school he’s at and employ tutors, or to move him to a different state school.

Your house comes with your husband’s job- is that right- so no mortgage? Is the business you have in addition to the job? Could you get another job for some evenings, or could your husband?

I think I’d see if there are any other state schools that would be better, but if not, squeeze your finances till the pips squeak.

How tight are we talking OP? Could you take on extra work? Get an evening or weekend job? Personally I would be doing everything possible to send both children.

The difference between state and private is not necessarily academic ... the wider curriculum and opportunities that they offer are striking: music, sport, drama etc. Your second son would miss out on those.