To skint us all by sending DC to private school?

[Stilish]

One DC is at private school. This is because they have SEN and was really struggling at local comp. This was before the VAT issue. That DC is absolutely flourishing.

Next DC has no SEN and started at the local comp last year. Is not having a great time at all, it’s a really poor school in many ways and this DC has gone from happy and high achieving, to unhappy and failing academically in 12 months.

I want to send this DC to the private school too, where I know they will thrive like their sibling. But with the VAT it will be an incredible stretch for our family and I don’t know what to do. I have one happy child in a good school doing well, and one unhappy child in a crap school not doing well.

I hate Kier Starmer and I hate Rachel Reeves. Their spiteful tax hasn’t punished any of the rich families. But I’ve been homeless and my husband and I have grafted since our teenage years, and it’s bloody punishing us.

What on earth do I do?

YANBU - find a way and send them
YABU - keep one child in the local comp and let them keep failing

I can sympathise op. You are in a difficult position. We have had 2 children in private school until recently; one has just finished and the other has 2 years left. I would be thinking very carefully about the financial cost of starting out now. It’s only going to become more expensive.

Personally I would look at all other options first. Are there any other state options you could look at, even if that involved moving. Would tutoring make a difference?

Private healthcare is VAT exempt.

Private care homes, nursing homes and home-care agencies are VAT exempt.
Private Universities are VAT exempt.
Smoking cessation products are only charged 5% VAT.
Prescriptions, dentistry, opticians, and chiropractors are all VAT exempt.
Council owned gyms are VAT exempt.

You can even buy a bike out of your pre-tax salary.
Because all of these things represent a net saving for the government and they want to encourage people to keep using those services rather than price them out of using them.

But lots of people use those things. Plenty of people go to a private dentist because it's hard to find a decent NHS one. Lots of people have a private GP service included in their Union membership and use them to avoid the 8am appointment rush. 50% of us send our kids to University and most of us are keen to avoid our parents (or ourselves) ending up in state run care.

Private schools were an easy target because only 6% of kids are in them- and it doesn't matter that only a tiny proportion of that 6% are at elite public schools, like Eton and Harrow, and a much larger proportion are kids who were struggling in mainstream education.

And it doesn't matter to those who can afford to live wherever they want and access the very best state education. My daughter is in a class of 18 in a school with 2% FSM, next door to a farm which allows them free access and free farming lessons from the farmer, is extremely well-resourced thanks to a PTA run by a collective of wealthy SAHMS and well above average start and finish points in academics. It would be extremely easy for me to point at someone living in a rougher area and paying for private education because the nearest school is raising money to buy metal detectors get on top of vaping in the toilets and kids bringing knives to school and has officially run out of glue sticks from now til Christmas, and say that they should be paying tax on their luxury education, but I'm not a dick, so I won't.

Which then became private, and he stayed.

Of course, he's also keen on abolishing the Grammar Schools.

Different argument altogether. His parents did not pay for him to go to a private school.

The bitterness your youngest son will inevitably feel if he continues to be unhappy at school will carry into adulthood and tar your relationship for ever. The act of paying for one son means he will always equate that money with the belief that you loved and cared for his brother more.

Well no. The local authority paid the fees for 2 years after the school became private and he was funded by a bursary for his last 2 years. In other words, he received a private education without his parents paying a penny. So a massive privilege he appears not to have appreciated.

There's no way I would be sending one child to a private school and the other to a comp. Good luck dealing with those resentment issues when they become adults. I'd either be stretching the budget or moving the first child back to state education.

*Not sorry you're having to pay VAT.

Only do it if you honestly feel you can commit to the full 6 years.

We had ours in private school. I'd done the maths, I'd accounted for a rise each year in line with the highest rise the school had made in the previous 10years and it still rose more. And then vat on top finished us off and we had to withdraw them I was gutted and so were they. They are settled in their new school thankfully but it was a really difficult time for us.

yes, I am happy paying tax towards the NHS that rarely use because of my good health.
i DO have private insurance but have never used it.
I can see the value in protecting the health of citizens and think healthcare SHOULD be universal. As education is. Regardless of income.

If you are as confident as you can be that you will be able to keep them there at least until the end of Year 11, then yes I have to say I would do it.

I deplore how little is spent on state education in the UK - but with the situation as it is, it is true that your child is likely to have a much better experience at an independent school.

Long story and the details aren't relevant here, but I made a huge acrifice to send my daughter to an independent school and have never regretted it. I'd advise anyone else to do the same if they could.

Yes I’d say you have to. It’s not fair otherwise. Ask the school if they can offer any discounts or bursaries.

So he got into the school because of his ability and hard work.
Not because of the size of his parents' wallet.

I am just completely unable to empathise with people complaining about the removal of a tax break that should have existed in the first place. Private schools are charities? Piss off are they. Until every single child attending goes to them absolutely free they aren’t charities.

Change state school. And know that private school fees increase madly. Ours went from £36K to £48K in three years. And the private school education did neither of them any favours.

I think you need to find a way to send both else youngest will resent eldest.

is it boarding or day?

You can’t afford it? Don’t buy it. Thats something that most people deal with daily, whether it’s a luxury car, nice holiday, more clothes, certain brands, buying a house… etc

I don't, however, agree with some PP's that you would be inherently wrong to send one child and not send the other, as one has SEND needs and the other doesn't. Therefore their situations aren't comparable. I'd separate the two decisions in your mind. I certainly would NOT do what some have suggested and withdrawn the first if you decide you simply can't afford to send the second. That would be irrational and cruel.

But if you possibly can, send both. It's worth going without foreign holidays certainly. Buy a second hand tent, drive crap cars, buy second hand furniture - sacrifices like this are certainly worth it.

I think you should do the same for both - whether that's private or state! So your choice. Personally, I'd move house to catchment of a great state school

I think having a spare 33K to send your children to private school makes you rich.

No sympathy here, its not a vat problem, its a you can't afford it problem. Like the vast majority of people you'll have to either sacrifice to treat your kids fairly or lump it with the state system.

Personally I wouldn't send one and not the other.

I 100% think private school fees should include vat.

The more money available for state schools to improve teaching and overall standards will increase options for all families rather than push those families into having to send their kids private schools - just to avoid rough area state schools - when they can barely afford to.

The VAT raised from private school fees is being pumped into state schools and rightly so.

This.

Why dont you save yourself 33k a year and move to an area w a better school?

My parents sent me and one brother to private school and the other brother to state school. This was 40 years ago and my youngest brother had never got over it. I would have done just as well at state school and think my parents wasted tens of thousands of pounds as well as casing a huge rift between siblings. Based on your maths you’d have about 2.5k a month to pay for everything else for the 4 of you after school fees which doesn’t sound like very sensible budgeting.

So what! Only the academic kids are entitled to a good education and the rest don’t matter?

I don’t think Labour did anything wrong. Public schools have been aggressively pushing their fees up for years, way over inflation. Maybe they should have learned to cut their cloth accordingly when the rest of us have had to.