DH regretting house purchase - don’t know what to do

[CoffeeBooksRats]

Has anyone else got experience of this or advice on what I should do…?

Me, DH and our three DC moved house 6 months ago into what was meant to be our “forever” house. We’ve already done a significant amount of work to the house and garden, kids are really settled, walking to school with friend who live on the same street etc.

DH now saying he regrets the house purchase due to location of the house (he likes the area but not the specific street due to traffic noise). He thinks that any changes we can make to the house (eg soundproofing) will never be enough and that we should put the house back on the market. For context it’s a b road in a city suburb. There is traffic noise, but it doesn’t bother the rest of us at all. We seem to be able to zone it out, but DH says he cannot.

I’m absolutely devastated and don’t know what to do. I find the stress of moving house incredibly difficult and I don’t want to uproot our family again. AIBU? What would you do? Does anyone have experience of this kind of situation?

I wouldn’t bother with portable AC. I looked at reviews, and they just don’t work well. Maybe save up for the proper type?

It took me two years to accept our current house, the cost alone puts me on edge and then I just focus on all the negatives I'm paying a lot of money for!

We moved last Halloween and the road is so loud! Beeping all the time and cars driving too fast with those stupid exhausts adding to a noisy girl a few doors down (autistic not going to go there). Also we have come across a few issues we will have to work on. Would I have moved here if I’d known. No but it’s our home and we’re doing it up
bit by bit!

Some people are just more sensitive to noise than others. I am. My first house was on a busy main road and it drove me mad - the noise just built up and got worse for me. When I moved in with my new partner, it was also on a busy main road and we moved fairly quickly as I just couldn't stand it. Now, I live on a quiet road and I am happy. Not everyone can get used to noise.

Heathrow planes fly over my home at regular intervals. I don't notice them.

It's not really your problem to fix and you've said you can't afford to move so I'd disengage.

He might not be ecstatic hut clearly there was a reason to move and four other members of the household are happy so..🤷‍♀️

This sounds like anxiety linked rumination and panic.
When I visited my relatives new build, on the side of the A19, I thought shit! What have they done?!
Years later, we sit in the garden and can't hear a thing. Clever planting behind their fence has helped I think.

We put triple-glazing in and never hear it now.

I don’t notice planes either. But I can’t do road noise.

Our first house was right next to a railway line and for the first few months I always noticed when a train went by but after a while I never noticed it. We ended up being there for 8 years and loved it!

It took me about 2 years before I felt comfortable in my house. Tell him to give it 1-2 years first before doing anything.

We have an air filter fan we run at night, it does a great job creating white noise too! It filters out road noise even with the windows open. Might something like this help?
Best of luck!

I have triple glazing on mine - wasn’t a lot more then double

neighbours say they don’t hear the dog bark who is staying currently

We once bought a house not realising it was under the Luton airport flight path. Yes, I know , stupid ! We were young … I never ever got used to it, noticed every flipping plane. Lasted barely a couple of years before we moved again !

There's road noise too but the double glazing muffles it.

Putting a tree or bushes in the front would help too if you have the configuration for it.

You mentioned that opening the windows as it’s so hot wasn’t helping. You should keep windows closed and curtains drawn across during the day. Then open windows at night to let the cool air in

I agree with this! Not everyone filters out sounds in the same way! It’s highly stressful for those who don’t! And no one wants to live with chronic stress… .

This is really excellent advice.

Really good point @Traveltart!

I second waiting to see what difference the secondary glazing makes; we had to completely replace the windows on our house a few years and the difference it made noise-wise was amazing. We live on quite a busy city street and never notice traffic noise tbh.

It might be worth getting a couple of portable air conditioners when they're on sale in the autumn.

Is there any way the noise can be reduced? I moved into a new house and the noise of the boiler was driving me insane even though nobody else was bothered. Luckily we were able to move the boiler, which you obviously can’t do with roads, but there might be ways to improve things.

I live on a B road in London and hate stepping out onto our street as it’s so busy. But we had sound proofing added on the windows and inside the flat it’s super peaceful, everyone remarks how peaceful it is when they come in. “Lovely and quiet”. I strongly recommend trying the sound proofing before moving on, it will make the house more desirable if you do subsequently decide to sell xx

This. Your husband has an anxiety problem.

I lived in a house for three years and hated it.
Did end up moving. Sometimes it’s just not the right place for you. Hopefully your Dh will get used to it, but it’s hard if you’re not happy. He needs to give it time though especially if everyone else is ok with it and you like the area.

Same. I lived on a high street for two years in London then moved to the suburbs and lived on a silent road next to the woods. I couldn't sleep for weeks as it was so quiet, I'd just got so used to the constant buzz and even a clock tower that went off every 15 minutes.

That said I had buyers regret before, it's an awful, claustrophobic feeling that used to give me waves of panic. I still don't like the house but I don't fixate on it anymore.