DH regretting house purchase - don’t know what to do

[CoffeeBooksRats]

Has anyone else got experience of this or advice on what I should do…?

Me, DH and our three DC moved house 6 months ago into what was meant to be our “forever” house. We’ve already done a significant amount of work to the house and garden, kids are really settled, walking to school with friend who live on the same street etc.

DH now saying he regrets the house purchase due to location of the house (he likes the area but not the specific street due to traffic noise). He thinks that any changes we can make to the house (eg soundproofing) will never be enough and that we should put the house back on the market. For context it’s a b road in a city suburb. There is traffic noise, but it doesn’t bother the rest of us at all. We seem to be able to zone it out, but DH says he cannot.

I’m absolutely devastated and don’t know what to do. I find the stress of moving house incredibly difficult and I don’t want to uproot our family again. AIBU? What would you do? Does anyone have experience of this kind of situation?

It’s also worth pointing out that a lot of lenders won’t approve mortgages for houses re sold within first 6 months.
I work as an estate agent, but I am sure a broker would be able to fully advise.
That might help your case!

My amateur property sleuth view is that in my city - London - there will eventually be a big price bump for period homes on busy roads. Why? The Victorians put the grandest houses on the biggest roads. They wanted to be seen. Of course this was before cars came along. However we are on the cusp of an EV revolution. Take up of electric cars has slowed a bit but the latest figures won’t include the massive new range of cheap but luxury Chinese electric cars. Within five years, your road will be super quiet… And you won’t be breathing in nearly as many fumes.

Sound insulation can really make a massive difference and it will be much cheaper than moving again.

I think there is a lot of pressure committing to a "forever" house. Maybe frame it instead as a house that meets your family's needs right now e.g. the kids can walk to school etc. But maybe it won't be so suitable in a few years when the kids are older - if he knows that he doesn't have to be there forever he may be happier to be there now

When I see lovely houses next to roads I often wonder who would buy them, depressing.
I would do the 2yr thing, then move if it still upsets him

Give it more time just yet op. Let him find his feet and allow it to feel like home. It’s quite common to feel this way after a move it can take a while to settle in

It's called buyer's remorse. Especially common when you have to pay for improvements.

The most important thing is, if you DO decide to sell, you do not put it on the market only 6 months after purchase. The main reason is massive financial losses and the second reason is it will seem to be a property with problems.

Get him to give it another year or two, with or without efforts to minimize road noise.

We lived in a house in Twickenham when our kids were babies, there was a loud street behind the house that was muffled by huge old trees. When one tree fell in a winter storm, the council took it on themselves to cut down every single tree and it became a lot louder and we did actually sell at a loss.

And yet our late Queen chose Windsor Castle as her preferred forever home.

Right under Heathrow’s flight path…

Some people can’t do road noise and I’m one. You won’t be able to move immediately anyway due to mortage rules, so I’d put a reasonable timeframe for moving of a couple of years, that doesn’t stress you out and gives him some light at the end of a tunnel.

That said, double-glazing at the front will make a difference. And he may desensitise to it over time.

For us it was a decision based on cost - yes it’s on a road, but it’s a beautiful house with a lovely big garden, with loads of space for our kids, that we couldn’t have afforded in a different street. If we had unlimited funds then sure, we would have made a different choice.
but who does?!

Agree with this. We have a train line running down the end of our (long) garden and are within hearing distance (dependent on wind) of an A road. For the first year - and the first summer specifically, because you have windows open and are in the garden - I really noticed every train.

Within a few years never registered and I genuinely, 20 years later, barely hear a train ever. I only registered one this afternoon because all the french doors and windows are open. One train all day (there are 8 an hour from 5am until midnight). We’re a ND household so are a bit sensitive to some noises, but my kids find the sounds of the trains at night really soothing.

He really should find himself getting used to it if he gives it time or uses Loops.

My DM moved into what was meant to be her dream house about seven years ago now. She hated it for the first year and a half, everything about it. After the first year and a half she slowly fell in love with it and would hate to move now.

I'd tell him to give it longer, it's still a very short amount of time.

We had a similar experience and honestly I think its just panic at the change. I wouldnt recommend loop ear plugs. It will just give him a constant reminder of why he needs them rather than getting used to it. Think about the glazing like others have said and get some sort of water feature installed to help when you are in the garden. You probably won't need much to drown out traffic noise. I bet in 3 months time he won't mention it again. Good luck.

Why are / were your windows open? Curtains and windows shut when its hot outside

Everyone has buyer panic especially as moving is financially impossible

buy him some cool ear muffs

Hi OP, how unsettling for you.
I really hope your husband becomes accustomed to the new house.
I moved just over a year ago and it takes time to adjust to the differences as you know.

If he has form for this, it sounds like it’s more a problem he has with the high stakes of making a decision.

Give it time and do the work to reduce the noise. It definitely sounds like he just needs to get used to it.

It’s the location v property debate. Most of us can’t afford the house we want in the location we want. So it’s all about what we are prepared to compromise on. You’ve compromised on location to get the house you want. We compromised on the house for the location. It’s completely personal but either way your DH needs to accept that unless he wins the lottery, he’s going to have to compromise somewhere and find contentment.

Not in a million years would I have my windows closed on a hot sunny day, no matter what the advice is

It wouldn't be the noise I would be concerned with - it would be the pollution.

Higher levels of pollution are linked to dementia I think?

Triple glazing does work -ignore anyone who says it doesnt - we had it in our old house which was near a farm who rented out his sheds for storage for factories, we had lorries with 40ft containers going in and out all hours and triple glazing helped so so much. Agree aswell windows should be closed during heat wave your only filling your house up with hot air.
I am nearly 2 years in my current house i am a bit like your husband not loving it yet however i am slowly coming round to it. we have noise from the soccer pitch up the road and if the wind is blowing in this way you hear the noise from the main road. We have planted numerous trees all around aswell as a high beech hedge along our boundries all of this will help with noise big time. My mother in law lives on a main road and the traffic starts at 4am in the morning along by her house, it wakes me up when we stay there but she there 40 odd years now and never notices it doenst stop her sleeping with windows open nor enjoying her garden. Agree with what posters have said talk to your husband agree a timeline, it does take time to settle

Are the rooms at the back of the house quieter? Can you reconfigure and make this whichever room he spends the most time in.

It’s amazing how well you adjust to noise with a bit of time. I lived in an apartment in Melbourne between two of the busiest train stations but I barely noticed the trains after a while (unless I was watching something). I’ve even gotten used to the dogs barking in my current neighbourhood.

I reckon you go along with the idea of moving if he finds something himself and you can afford it. I bet he won’t find anywhere that suits fully.

Tell him he should have done more research then, the kids needs are more important right now and to suck it up? Plus ask where the stamp duty and legal fees are supposed to come from?

You can't possibly move now, it's too expensive and any potential buyer is going to think you have neighbour problems or something.