Rude old man shouted at 4 year old DS

[ThisOldThang]

I was walking on a quiet residential road with both my sons (7 and 4). I was pushing the empty buggy. My eldest son was walking next to me and my youngest son was had fallen behind by around 10m.

I heard a man shout 'GET OUT OF MY WAY'. I turned around and an old man (65-70 years old) had passed my youngest son and was walking towards us.

When he passed he said 'You need to control your children.'

I replied 'He's 4.'

The rude old codger then started going on about how my son had been in his way, so I told him that he should have said excuse me, rather than shouting at a 4 year old.

Anyway, there was a bit more back and forth and I called him a rude old man and we went on our way. When I looked back, he was on the phone. Who to, I have no idea.

AIBU?
No and he's lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids.

Yes. He's old and allowed to shout at young children in the street.

It's a community space. So long as people can pass, you can do whatever you like.

@ImImmortalNowBabyDoll it’s really not a community space. It’s a means of getting from A to B safely.

You can believe whatever you want, but it doesn't make it true. Pavements are a space everyone gets to use, as they wish, as long as it's not obstructed. You can even apply to get your street closed down to through traffic at set times to protect children's play.

The UK courts have explicitly backed this up. In a landmark case (Harrison v Duke of Rutland), the legal ruling established that the public right of way isn't strictly limited to walking in a straight line from point A to point B. It includes any "reasonable and usual mode" of using a highway. For a child, playing, scooting, or drawing with chalk is considered a completely natural and reasonable way to use that space.

I think you will find that is not the case and if you had bothered to do even a cursory google search you would have been able to find that out for yourself. There are literally dozens of regulations specifying what people and children can and can't do on a pavement. And playing without regard to other users and causing a nuisance or obstruction or danger is not permitted.

As Lord Justice Collins said in the 1900 Court of Appeal case (Hickman v Maisey). :
"The right of the public to pass and repass on a highway is not restricted to a mere right to walk along it... A man may stand still for a reasonable time... and a child may play on the highway, and yet not be a trespasser."
The law views a street as a shared community space.

He’s probably 5ft 11in really.

Stands on tiptoe in group pics to look taller 😂

@ImImmortalNowBabyDoll it surely the fact that you have to apply for things to do on pavements, streets etc show that they are not generally a playground

Not sure how a case about trespass in the 1900s relates to the laws and regulations concerning what is and isn't permitted on a pavement in 2026. 🤔

What a miserable man. There is never any need to speak to a child like that.

The case law is very clear that pavements are community areas and can be used for whatever anyone wants as long as it doesn't obstruct them. You are entitled to believe whatever you like but it doesn't change the law.

It's not an application to use them for play. It's an application to prevent anyone else from using them whilst children are playing, making playing the only purpose during that time.

Would you ask gene kelly that?

Case law isn't the only kind of law 🙄

😂😂😂😂

And even if case law were the only kind of law I imagine that the actual position is that you can do what you like as long as you don't break any other kinds of law, which extend way beyond causing an obstruction. And in this particular case only the old man knows what the kid was doing because op hasn't got a clue - maybe the kid was causing an obstruction , maybe op was failing to properly supervise their kid (having a 4 year old over 30 yards behind you on a public pavement sounds pretty shit to me). Zig zagging along the pavement and running into other people is definitely not permitted under the law. The particular case you cited was about trespass, which is irrelevant to the case in point. But you go ahead and do whatever the fuck you like and don't worry about the law, morality or common courtesy to other people. I mean I expect you are the most important person on the planet.

10m is not 30 yards.

It's really bizarre that people are victim blaming a 4 year old and making up all sorts of shit to justify the victim blaming.

He was walking on a pavement. He doesn't 'run into other people'. I said he might have been zig-zagging. So what? I often follow grown adults that do that as I'm trying to pass them or they randomly stop dead. I don't then shout at them to get out of my way.

I asked him this morning if the man had said anything before he shouted and my son said he didn't. He just shouted.

My son might not have heard him, of course, but shouting 'get out of my way' at a 4 year old is bonkers behaviour.

If you were wearing headphones and a man shouted at you, would that be okay? Talking on the phone? What about somebody with a hearing impairment?

I don’t think people are victim blaming. I don’t think anyone has said it’s reasonable to shout at a 4year old.

I think they are saying the bigger issue is you need to keep a better eye on your child and that you don’t know the circumstances of the interaction.

UK law is composed of two types of law, statute law and case law. If you can find the relevant statute saying a child can't play on a pavement then go ahead.

The child "may have been zig zagging". That is not sufficient to be causing a major obstruction. He could have easily just walked around him or asked him to excuse him.

A 1-2 year old understandable you’re holding their hand but most 4 year olds know not to randomly run out into the road 🤷🏻‍♀️ my 6 year old had finished the 1st year of school and was fluently reading and writing before he turned 5!

Always get some bizarre reactions on MNs, you don’t sound like you were doing anything wrong and the man was completely out of order. Reminds me of a woman having a go at me for my 4 year old singing on a bus, most of the population would find that cute but you’ll always get some that seem to have a hatred of kids and their parents too unless they keep their kids as invisible as possible

I do sometimes wonder if these posters just failed to notice their child had significant delays to their development and assume all kids are at the same level their own were.

DD is 6 now but at 4 she played outside unsupervised in a group, including on the pavement. I would check on her every 5 minutes or so and could hear her voice from inside. A typical child should be more than capable of that.

I think everyone (or the majority at least) agrees with you that it’s not ok for a grown man to shout at a young child in the way you describe.

it’s having him walk behind you that some posters have questioned.

all kids and parents are different though.

I wouldn't find a child singing on the bus "cute". I'd find it noisy and intrusive.
I wouldn't say anything , but I wouldn't feel "entertained".