Rude old man shouted at 4 year old DS

[ThisOldThang]

I was walking on a quiet residential road with both my sons (7 and 4). I was pushing the empty buggy. My eldest son was walking next to me and my youngest son was had fallen behind by around 10m.

I heard a man shout 'GET OUT OF MY WAY'. I turned around and an old man (65-70 years old) had passed my youngest son and was walking towards us.

When he passed he said 'You need to control your children.'

I replied 'He's 4.'

The rude old codger then started going on about how my son had been in his way, so I told him that he should have said excuse me, rather than shouting at a 4 year old.

Anyway, there was a bit more back and forth and I called him a rude old man and we went on our way. When I looked back, he was on the phone. Who to, I have no idea.

AIBU?
No and he's lucky that I'm not the sort of person that kicks off in front of my kids.

Yes. He's old and allowed to shout at young children in the street.

Personally I’d say that where I live and in my circles we would not have 4 years olds playing outside unsupervised 😳

no significant delays here.

Well I'm sorry you underestimate your kids so much then. 🤷

I grew up in a village and we were similar. I was allowed to go to the park with my brother and neighbours when I was 3.

We don't live in a village, so I certainly wouldn't be comfortable with that, but were talking about a quiet residential street, no buses, 20mph speed limit, Saturday afternoon, no traffic, wide pavement and a child that knows to stay on the pavement.

Who's victim blaming your 4year old. Majority of comments here have stated that the guy shouldn't have shouted at your child, they've also pointed out that maybe you should have kept a better eye on him whilst out in public. Your kid lagging behind you where you can't see him isn't the best idea-how long would it have taken you to notice if he'd wandered off in another direction or worst case scenario that some stranger could have walked off with him?

Yes he was a rude dickhead.
But 10m is far too far behind you for a four year old to be wandering.

I don’t think they are underestimating their kid. Perhaps you are overestimating the general public. It is wholly inappropriate for a 4 year old to be playing in the street. Too many dodgy folk about.

That would be my concern. If OP wasn't aware of the old man until he shouted then anyone could have approached the child and carried him off before OP could respond (and if he was aware of the old man, should have made sure his child was not in the way to be shouted at)

With respect you have no idea what your child was doing and therefore whether he needed to be shouted at to get out of the way.

As I said, it’s sadly the case that a minority such as yourself feel like that, obviously a child shouting in someone’s ear/climbing over them is is crossing an unacceptable boundary but simply singing a song they’ve learned at nursery that day is something most of us find quite endearing. Moving out of London to a semi rural area where people tend to be much more patient and understanding of children and not having to use public transport has made parenting much less stressful. That said on the rare occasions I’ve used public transport in this area, the other passengers have been some of the nicest people you could meet with regards to children. It’s funny, when getting long distance trains, it’s fine as long as at least 100 miles from London. After being screamed at by a man with my 4 month old in the car in London I continue to avoid the place as much as possible. However I had to despair when just transiting through King’s Cross with my exclusively breastfed 6 month old, the dedicated family waiting room was so jam packed with people without children (none of whom batted an eyelid to consider giving up their space faced with an actual mother and baby), so I had to head over early to the Eurostar terminal where one of their lovely customer service assistants did their best to find me somewhere to sit and at last give her a feed

I sincerely hope you are not a lawyer because you are talking absolute shit.

You weren't there and the op did not see what the child did so no one is able to comment on whether what the child did is or is not in contravention of a law. You are definitely not in a position to say 'he could have easily walked round him'. How do you know that?

By the way you missed out trust law, not that it's relevant whatsoever. As I said previously a quick google will give you a list of the many laws and regulations governing pavements, not to mention all the other laws that govern behaviour wherever it occurs.

YABU for not having your 4 Yr old in sight at all times especially walking next to a road

People spending hours arguing over whether a 4 year old broke laws using a pavement wrong is peak mumsnet.

It’s a pavement and a 4 year old, it’s just not that deep.

"You weren't there and the op did not see what the child did so no one is able to comment on whether what the child did is or is not in contravention of a law."

A 4 year old child is below the age of criminal responsibility and not legally capable of contravening laws. You're talking total crap.

1.1 miles? A long way? Crikey! Even in the extreme heat I don’t see why you would need a buggy for a 4 year old unless they have mobility issues. If they are struggle to walk you should definitely have them by your side so you can keep an eye on them. You seem very sure of what happened and what was said despite not being there……

“Zig zagging along the pavement and running into other people is definitely not permitted under the law.”
🤦‍♀️😂

You’re not living the same reality as the rest of us clearly. It’s not about underestimating the kids, it’s about the sick part of the population who could easily lift a 4 year old into their car if they wanted to. Brill no harm came to your kids but you can’t really chastise people for protecting their own. Even the OP is saying they’d not be doing that.

You've been proven wrong, just accept it and move on.

He shouldn’t have shouted at your DC.

however 10m behind for a 4 year old I would keep them closer, and I wouldn’t drop your levels describing him as an old codger. Older people can struggle with their stability and let’s assume at the last minute your DC walked out infront of him? It may have startled him, still no excuse to shout.

Basic parental ignorance of children’s ability at different ages

Oh do behave.

It was a 2.2 mile round trip and the activity we were attending. That's equivalent to about 8 miles + an intensive gym workout in the blazing sun for an adult.

It might be hard to believe but not everyone has off road parking. I live in a quiet residential street with no driveways.

10 metres is far enough away that if someone had grabbed your kid, hand over his mouth, he'd have run and you'd have had no idea or been close enough to give chase without putting your other kid at risk too.
That's unreasonable.

"or been close enough to give chase without putting your other kid at risk too."

In that scenario, how could anybody give chase without leaving the other child? What you've said doesn't make sense.

You wouldn't need to if both kids were together with you.

Surely you would if someone runs off with one of them?