Calling the police to check on a crying baby

[summermumma2021]

Just had to call the police to check on a new neighbours baby. What would
you have done in this situation?
New neighbours live down our road around 100m away from us and could hear loud very distressed crying for over half an hour.

It sounded like a newborn or young baby crying and so I assumed they’d settle or some attempt to comfort them would be made but the crying stayed at the same level for ther period time. I could also hear raised voices and car doors slamming and I asked my husband if he’d heard it too (he was downstairs) and he said yeah he was worried as well.

Anyway in hoping it was nothing and the little one is fine but it just didn’t sit right and it sounded like no attempt to comfort them was being made at all.

i have no idea who the new neighbours are as it’s quite far from our bit of the road but for it to be that loud from this distance didn’t seem right. I have also had three colicky babies so I do know babies can cry for periods of time but as I said it sounded like no attempt to help them was being made.

Anyway police treating it as a priority case and checking things out. Just wanted to share really as worried.

You only have experience of your own kids, not every child.

I don’t know. Why don’t you ask her?

I have no interest in picking her apart tbh. I think she did the right thing.

For all the people suggesting it is a waste of police time...... What if you are WRONG...
Either the police turn up, spend 5 mins and go away reassured the baby is ok. OR
The baby is being neglected and abused.
Shame on you for thinking police time would be better spent elsewhere after all the baby deaths we see in the news. I bet some neighbours turned a blind eye on these occasions too and minded their own business.....

‘Mind your own business’

’Look away’

’Turn the tv up so you don’t hear it’

’She’s a nosy cow’

’This is a nice area, things like that don’t happen here’

’But they’re teachers’ (or any other educated professional)

’Her parents always dress her so well’

’She is such a cry baby’

Heard it all before tbh. It can happen anywhere, with anyone, with any education level, any nationality, any school. Any multi millionaire, any boarding school, any ‘tough woman who takes no shit’ can be abused. Literally anyone.

Yes always best to report, if people turn a blind eye children suffer abuse, it might be they just need parenting lessons or early intervention team to go in and help.

Whilst this thread has been rumbling on, a man has appeared in court accused of the rape and murder of a 2 year old girl "within a family setting". Too right anyone with concerns should report them!

Oh for goodness sake, wake up! If they were screaming at the baby she’d have put it in her original post, surely that’s a big reason to call the police and worth mentioning, instead she went on and on about the baby crying and assumed that no one was trying to console, she’s adding bits on as she goes to justify herself. She has contradicted herself throughout this entire thread. This entire post is exaggerated to what suits at the time. How on earth can someone tell that a crying baby is not being comforted in a house, 100m down the road?

In my opinion, OP should apologise to her neighbour, delete this thread and in future before calling the police, get some decent facts not just what ifs, and finally don’t just assume a crying baby is being abused because she guessed that ‘it didn’t seem like anyone was trying to calm the baby’ (for only 30 minutes), my baby screamed as stiff as a board for 3 hours a night with CMPA, nothing I did would soothe him, I used to just walk the floors for hours. This whole thing is ridiculous.

She knows full well she overreacted massively, that’s why she came here for validation, then when she didn’t get that, made the story a million times worse to seem like the hero.

So why not report anyone with a baby to the police? I am sure that most babies have cried for 30 minutes on occasion and probably most couples have raised their voices on occasion. Who knows if there is abuse?

Painful isn’t it? The whole behaviour of OP is odd! How are some people not seeing through this? The first post, all OP seemed to really care about was the volume and the length of time the crying was going on, someone with raised voices slamming a car door, now, she’s saying totally different things, some of what she is now claiming does appear to be quite bad, but I don’t believe it, because surely, a parent screaming at a tiny baby would be worth mentioning in the original post? Surely that is much more concerning than the length or time and volume? It’s all BS.

There's a particular thing about MN where people take a situation such as this and make it about them. I really don't understand why people take things like possible child abuse and make it about their baby who had colic.

My second son was breast fed exclusively (as was the first but he loved his dummy too) and would, under no circumstances, accept a rubber teat.

This was back in the day when we got 18 weeks maternity leave.

My husband tried to give him a bottle of MY milk when I was due to return to work and you would have thought we were murdering him. My friend called in the middle of it, heard him, and got into a state saying we should take him to hospital as there was clearly something wrong. There wasn't. He just couldn't handle the rubber teat.

We eventually gave in, though didn't leave him crying for 30 minutes - couldn't handle it, and did find a solution, but if the police had came to my door that night I would have asked them in, explained the situation and that would have been that.

My husband worked in child protection and you have no idea what goes on. It's truly heartbreaking.

So, try not to make it personally.

If the child is a colicky baby, there would be no further action but I think a distressed baby with all the other things going on should be checked.

No harm done if it's just a bad night, but a child could be saved from abuse if it isn't.

No, just ignore and wait for the death to appear in the news, the safety of a baby should be paramount.

So you do actually think all people with babies should be reported to the police "just in case"🤔

This is the thing isn't it... surely if we go by the better safe than sorry mantra, every single family should be investigated by social services..just in case.

There is a harm done if the police spend their entire time checking every single baby who cries though as they will not be saving babies who do need help. And I am not making it about me btw. I didn't have colicy babies who cried a lot. I know some do though and phoning the police because a baby has cried for 30 minutes seems ridiculous.

Exactly

I also think being investigated even briefly could break some people. One of my Dc had a safeguarding concern made about them years ago...they have sn and it was related to that. Nothing came of it, my Dc were well looked after ..and this was obvious but at the time I was an anxious mess over it, every time there was a knock at my door I genuinely was terrified my Dc were going to be taken away. It was truly horrendous. So I don't necessarily believe in the no harm done school of thought. Obviously I want people to be vigilant with regards to potential abuse and children are more important than potentially upsetting innocent parents...but no, it affected me hugely and for years after.

That’s the reason for health visitors.

Hyperbole

There’s colicky babies and there’s babies who can scream relentlessly for 24hrs a day because they maybe have undiagnosed allergies as was the case for me. I was completely gas lit by all medical people from GPs to health visitors ‘oh it’s just colic’. Colic was not a patch on this. What I would have given for someone to pop by, a smiling reassuring face and offer me a break, to hold my screaming baby for just a few mins…..a knock on the door would’ve been amazing, calling the police not so much! some people don’t have a village and if they are new to the area they def won’t. Moving house, having a baby are pretty major life stressors on their own.

in our case it took some time to work things out which was done by saving to go private and have a paediatrician actually listen to us. I resent the gps who brushed it off as colic and me having PND, we were a very unhappy household for sometime but once we figured it out, it was like my baby had a personality transplant and we were all happier.

yes you are right to be concerned but calling the police for a baby crying for 30mins is a little extreme. Like previous posters have said, if police or social services turned up at my door when I was at my lowest point with an inconsolable baby, it might have actually tipped me into a PND. support is needed rather than being accused of child neglect.

No different to a medical professional dealing with sick people every day, they have a professional head and a mum head, the mum persona overthinks everything esp when severely sleep deprived and can’t think straight. The medical persona is methodical, thorough and does not second guess every decision! Similar to why medical professionals do not treat their family and friends, apart from the confidentiality part, emotions would get in the way of any decision making. As for that social worker saying that to her social worker friend, you realise people are just having conversations and being worried that someone who doesn’t know they are a social worker calls social services or the police.

Of course. And not just once but repeatedly.

It isn't hyperbole because I am sure that most babies gave cried for 30 minute at one time or another and most couples have raised their voices at one time or another.

Ok so I say it is and then you repeat it isn't. I don't have the time or inclination to do this all night with you.

We won't agree.

Have a nice night.

As someone involved in safe guarding, you did the right thing. Better to be safe than sorry. It’s always right to follow your gut. Considering baby Preston died recently and is all over the news, I think people need to applaud you personally and take note . Yes it could be completely innocent, and if so no harm done.