DH and I are in our 50's and have DC. We had them late so they are still at school/ living at home. We have one GP on my side and both my DH's parents are alive.
All 3 of our parents are in their early/ late 80's. They have all had great lives. Bought nice houses, go on loads of holidays, nice restaurants, very sociable, and none of them has ever had anything wrong with them that warranted serious medical intervention. They have lived long, healthy lives.
DH and I (and our siblings) have got to the point where all 3 of their behaviour has become intolerable. Every thing is about them. They are on the phone constantly complaining about their lot, that they see no one (not true!), and weekly visits and phone calls to the GP about every twinge. A lot of it seems to be panic about being old.
My issue is that whilst they are doing everything in paragraph 3, the generations below them are having real issues. I have just had the worst 12 months of my life where both DS and I had to go to numerous hospital appointments for investigations (still not sorted), one of my close family members died (suddenly at 50), and working FT and dealing with family life.
My DH's family are in some parts worse. Their irrational behaviour has always been unbelievably attention seeking since the day I met them 30+ years ago. With their latest misadventure, they have my DH and sibling running round after them like staff. It now turns out that my DH's sibling has some major life issues going on, and is really stressed, but hey, let's not upset the Grandparents!!!!
My AIBU is that last night I told my DH that both my parent, and my in-laws have had the luxury of great, long lives with no illnesses and spare money to splurge on luxuries and don't really have anything to complain about and I am not listening to or tolerating it any more. I really do feel that they cause a lot of stress, and that we (me, my siblings, DH and his sibling) are spending so much time on their comfort, and dealing with their minor issues, that important things are being missed.
AIBU to say to my parent, and my DH to his parents that they are all fit and healthy, and the complaining and demanding behaviour is not being indulged any more. We all are literally on the cusp of nervous breakdowns over their behaviour.