AIBU to think my neighbour’s cat care problem is not mine?

[Thepartwhereidrun]

My neighbour stopped my son on his way out last night to ask if he would look after her cat when she is away from tomorrow for 2 weeks, going in twice a day. He said sorry but he couldn’t.

I didn’t know she had spoken to him until she knocked our door and told us. Her cat sitter has let her down last minute and now she won’t be able to go on holiday unless she can find someone else. Nightmare for her, but her cat sitter is ill so it can’t be helped. I said I can’t help her but I text our dog sitter, who also does cat sitting to ask if she had availability and said I’d get back to her if she could do it.

She asked if I would also ask my son again, which I did when he got home, but he doesn’t want to do it. He has just finished his A levels and wants to be free to come and go as he pleases which is understandable. I said that if he has said no then that means he can’t.

Our dog sitter text me back to say she didn’t have any availability for the first week but could do the second week. I text my neighbour to let her know and to give her sitters contact details. She has just text back ‘no good, what am I meant to do for the first week?’

I haven’t replied as although I get she is probably feeling desperate, how the fuck is her cat my problem?

A neighbourly favour to me is maybe covering a day or two. Maybe if you have cats yourself and it's a situation where you both cover for each other then longer is ok. But two weeks is well out of favour territory for me.

Ah just read the updates which changes things.Not convinced she didn’t have any arrangements, I imagine that she didn’t have a professional cat sitter but someone doing it for well below the going rate and she’s not willing to pay the going rate. I think I’ve switched camps

Cheeky fucker. I wouldn’t dream of asking let alone demanding!

I missed the part where she offered to pay him what she was going to pay them!

So her original offer was £30 for two weeks?
Batshit.
I wouldn't entertain this and I certainly wouldn't put pressure on my child that has just finished exams.
We have just finished exams here too and it has been a real slog.
He absolutely has every right to relax AND he also has a job.

She is a cheeky fxxker.
My friends sister bought a puppy 2 years ago and just assumed without any conversation that family would take it for her holidays.

She got a rude awakening and relations have soured as a result.
She got a couple of very rude furious voicemails trying to guilt her.

It is the last in a long line of CF behaviour, and my friend has no wish to resume phone contact and has kept her blocked.
She is delighted to be called petty if it means she is no longer on her speed dial for favours, help, etc.

Their mutual siblings were having none of it either. She now regrets the dog as the children are devoted to it and kennals cost a fortune.

Assuming people will look after your animals is the height of cheeky fxxkery.

Yanbu OP.

God now my cattery has a row of what i call massive kennels that are 12 feet high, one section is outside caged area and the other section is inside, bithe areas have lots of cat trees, climbers and resting posts , the inside part has sections they can go sleep in with heated under blankets aswell as underground heating, cat litter changed every day, fed twice a day aswell as treats. She sends me phots every day too when away. they are treated like roaylty, all right one of them will be p off wth me when collect and wont speak to me for two days 😅but its great peace of mind to know well looked after when away. I always bring a small gift for her too

Can you not just say "I could go round at x time each day once a day to refresh water and food for the first week. Thereafter please see the dog walker's details."

Choose a time that works for you - and unless you are away yourself, this would literally (and I hate people using that word when it isn't literal) be a ten minute task.

It isn't a dog that needs walking.

You aren't under any obligation to, but for me it would be worth it to not sour the relationship with someone living on your doorstep whose help you may need some day.

I did something kind that I was not in the least obligated to do for someone a couple of years ago. In a convoluted way, that has come back to help me in the last month, and I am glad I said yes when I was perfectly entitled to say no.

she hasn't even rung round other sitters and won't pay more stuff her

Well done to your son - tackled this head on in a way that sounds assertive but kind. I hope she had the grace to feel embarrassed about the apparent lack of effort she'd put in (or being caught out having assumed she could take his good nature for granted)

Could you not pop in and feed that cat for a week? It’s not much hassle.

No means no.

I love cats but currently don't have them as I travel regularly and work long hours and wouldn't want to burden neighbours by asking them to help. To be clear I would not agree to do this for a neighbour either, paid or not, available or not.

If this makes me mean so be it. You don't know me or my circumstances.

FFS

Oh I am looking between tasks working at my desk and had not seen your update when I started typing this response above.

If she won't pay DS's friend, then I think she is being a bit unreasonable. I can't see where you said you physically won't be there (only that you couldn't) as am working but if you aren't there, you aren't there I guess.

RTFT.

Neighbour is a CF. There are loads of people willing to catsit - for the proper going rate. She just needs to stump up. Stand your ground.

TBF there are loads of updates on this thread. Not everyone can devote ages to it.

You don’t have to read all of them. Just the OP’s updates. There are not many of them.

So you’ve changed your plans and not gone away on a work trip to feed your neighbours cats?

that’s unusually generous…

Nobody expects people to read every single post, but at least reading all of the OP’s is quite a basic thing to do

YANBU. I might try and help out, but she is tasking you with looking for sitters etc, then being peeved when they don't work out. She is BU

It’s literally one button to press to see OPs updates.

I might start a petition to be able to downvote posters, Reddit style.

OP is away.

Well if she wants to go on holiday then that’s what she has to do.

Yes, same for mine, and he did Edexcel
maths so had the nightmare of paper 1 to deal with. There’s no way I’d be asking him to
look after the neighbour’s cat.

I’ve just read all of OPs posts on the thread in a few minutes. You don’t need to devote ages to it but if people are going to post an opinion, they should read the OPs posts at least before they do.

OP, your neighbour is cheeky and rude. You and your son have done more than she deserves.

We check with our excellent kennels before we book any holiday and used to do the same - when we had a cat - with the luxury Cattery (attached to our vets). Trying to guilt people into looking after your pet is CF territory.