AIBU to think my neighbour’s cat care problem is not mine?

[Thepartwhereidrun]

My neighbour stopped my son on his way out last night to ask if he would look after her cat when she is away from tomorrow for 2 weeks, going in twice a day. He said sorry but he couldn’t.

I didn’t know she had spoken to him until she knocked our door and told us. Her cat sitter has let her down last minute and now she won’t be able to go on holiday unless she can find someone else. Nightmare for her, but her cat sitter is ill so it can’t be helped. I said I can’t help her but I text our dog sitter, who also does cat sitting to ask if she had availability and said I’d get back to her if she could do it.

She asked if I would also ask my son again, which I did when he got home, but he doesn’t want to do it. He has just finished his A levels and wants to be free to come and go as he pleases which is understandable. I said that if he has said no then that means he can’t.

Our dog sitter text me back to say she didn’t have any availability for the first week but could do the second week. I text my neighbour to let her know and to give her sitters contact details. She has just text back ‘no good, what am I meant to do for the first week?’

I haven’t replied as although I get she is probably feeling desperate, how the fuck is her cat my problem?

Absolutely not you or your son’s responsibility. Your neighbour is nuts. If she has to cancel her holiday that’s on her. Not you or your son.

The entitlement is breathtaking, as are some of the comments.

Taking the puss indeed. Op needs to say “paw-don me, but are you fur real?”

Yanbu. I'd have just given her the number and told her to ask herself and asking you to ask your son when he's already said no to her is not on.

I get it's stressful that her cat sitter has had to let her down at the last minute but it's part of the risk you take when you book to go away when you have pets that you can't take with you. However it's her pet and it's nobody's responsibility but hers (and those who live in her household) to ensure that she has someone to look after the cat when she goes away.

YABU, I am so sick of selfish people.

I wouldn't ask my neighbours to feed my cat, because attitudes like the OP's are sadly the norm now.

Cats are way nicer than people.

I dislike cats so would say no. I am sure there are catteries and the like. She would just have to pay. It’s annoying for her but not your problem.

Assuming you really are not prepared to do it yourself (and I guess you must have your reasons) You should say 'He's already said why he doesn't want to do it and I totally understand his reasons. He might get the chance to go away with friends for a few days himself. I'm not going to force him, sorry. Try some of the other neighbours, ask a friend or ring around some catteries. The longer you leave it the harder it will get.'

Exactly!
The. Neighbor asked and was told neither OP or her son could help. That should have been the end of it. But she’s now trying to guilt them…
She’s moaning about having to give up her holiday, but quite happy for OPs son to give up his…. No way. Should have booked into a cattery. Not OPs fault and if the neighbour cancels the holiday that’s down to her poor planning.

I am a great neighbour, I help mine out all the time. I will go to the shops for her, I'll water her garden, I'll walk her dog, I'll lend her things, I'll give her veg out of my patch and apples off my tree. All the things a good neighbour should do.

But if she got a cat, I would absolutely refuse to feed it twice a day because I can't stand the bloody things, the thought of it mewing around my legs while I fed it makes me feel nauseous. I don't think I could do it for anyone.

Ooh, that response would make me really annoyed! It's not fair of her to suggest your DS will be to blame for her holiday being cancelled. I'd send something like this.

Dear CF NDN

The answer is still the same, he's not available. I'm sorry your cat sitter has let you down, but it will be their fault if your holiday is cancelled, not my son's. Have you tried other neighbours or local community forums? I'm sure if you put out an urgent notice, someone else will do the entire two weeks. My dog sitter still can do the second one.

Neighbour

Goodness she is so entitled! But I think telling her upfront that you can’t because neither of you will be around the full time would have saved any further messages from her.

She has said multiple times - he. Has. Two. Jobs. Already.

also - £30 for two weeks work is absolutely not worth it! It works out to £2 per hour.

I love how she’s trying to imply that your son not helping her will mean that you/he are the sole cause of her cancelling her holiday 🥴

I went away for 1 week recently, cat sitter was £280 for the week which included feeding and changing litter. It works out to be £20 per visit, twice a day. Absolute cheek that she only offered your son £30!

I would reply to the text:

”He has already said no he cannot help, not sure which part of no, don’t you understand? Whether you have to cancel your holiday is not our problem to solve. Please don’t ask again”

Right! I assume it’s another loony cat lover.

Okay, just caught up on all the OP's posts.

'I'd text back

'Look, I'm sorry but I have a job and my own travel plans while you are away, and my son ALSO has a job and some travel plans while you are away. We said we can't do it and we MEAN we can't do it. Stop wasting time and look for someone who CAN do it. We are not the only people in the street and you must have some friends or relatives? Also, phone round some catteries.'

I am starting to wonder if she ever had a sitter lined up at all, and deliberately left it to the last minute to ask you so you'd feel obliged to help out in the 'emergency.' She was probably just trying to save money all along.

They aren’t around to help.

I’ve read your updates and now realise that you and your son cannot commit due to not being home a lot. I’d ask her to consider contacting a local cattery before cancelling her holiday. I’d actually message. I’m really sorry but we are both not around much so cannot be responsible for the cat. I think you should ring a local cattery before cancelling the holiday.

I agree.

find some people to be so lacking in resourcefulness.
Well, this is true. Some people want others to manage their lives for them! She needs to ring around all local catteries, vets with contacts etc plus advertise the job (because that's what it is) on social media. There will be info online but she's looking for a cheap and easy solution and she thought you or your son were it. I suspect the bottom line is she doesn't want to pay much.

Yes, very cheeky. She should at least offer the amount she was going to pay the person who "let her down".

Maybe she has!

That’s why we use a cattery!

There is no way a cat sitter would be charging 2 pounds a day.

I'd reply as well, just to shut it down. Otherwise I'm sure she's still telling herself it's still a possibility and will lay the guilt on even more when it gets to crunch time.

.

There is no crunch time for OP or her son though, only the CF neighbour. They’ve said no multiple times; she needs to look for another solution, not just keep asking the same people who’ve already said no. She seems utterly likely weaponised incompetent. It’s her problem to solve.