Should I ask my neighbours if we can have designated times to sit in the garden?

[Guarddogdaschunds]

I will preface by saying that it is possible this heatwave has affected my rational thinking. So I will bite- I am so sick of listening to my neighbours having their dinner in the garden and having to listen to their booming voices for hours on end. It has reached the stage where we feel relegated indoors, especially in the evenings.

We live in a new build in close proximity to our neighbours so can hear everything as you can imagine. They are a couple in their early 30's (I think), no kids. The man with the booming voice works from home and has taken to working from his garden throughout the day, often vaping. My kids are off school, trying to make the best of the time off and I really don't think they should have to hear the details of his teams meetings. Surely he should work inside and allow people peaceful enjoyment of their gardens? I have never worked from home, but wouldn't it be considered a GDPR breach if others can hear?

They have had friends over for BBQs the previous 2 nights and have been sitting outside chatting until around 9pm. The BBQ smell lingered for so long and of course they were all vaping and drinking alcohol. One of their friends was regaling them with tales of her dating escapades-hardly an appropriate topic for my 9 year old to have in earshot. I also don't want my kids damaging their lungs inhaling all of those disgusting vape particles. The women have also been prancing around in very skimpy bikinis. I know women are entitled to wear what they want, but come on-all the neighbours can see if they look outside their upstairs windows! I'm also concerned as yesterday, the visiting friends were there for several hours and appeared to drive themselves home- were they over the limit?

On both occasions, I have brought my kids inside, as I don't want them to hear the sordid details of their conversations. I also feel awkward that they are only a few metres away from me, so I don't want to have my dinner outside in case they listen to our conversation. Would I be unreasonable to pop over or post a note through their door requesting that we have an outdoor mealtime rota so we can all enjoy our gardens in peace-as we are entitled to?

100% this. Thank goodness the OP isn’t my neighbour. We had a party for my daughter last night, in the garden. 30 16 year olds. Loud, singing, dancing, tv on with the football on for the boys, music playing, I pre warned my neighbours as I knew there would be noise and it went on until 11.i live in a new build with people either side. It’s a one off and everyone was totally fine with it and said it’s nice to see the kids having fun in a safe place rather than wandering the streets. everyone is entitled to enjoy their home and garden and accept that some times, there will be a bit of noice from the sound of people living their life.

imagine getting het up about some people IN THEIR OWN garden, wearing bikinis! And talking! And having fun!

Op, your attitude is the problem not normal noise from next door's garden.
Who has 'their tits out'?

Try calming apps, try headphones if the anxiety gets too much. Stop your dh snooping on them online. If you carry on with this obsession it will all descend into you getting reported for harassment if you don't learn how to cope.

Can you imagine the workplace getting a call?

Oh hello I want to complain about your staff member Steve Stevenson.

Yes?

He regularly enjoys his own garden with friends at a decent and allowed hour!! His wife wears a BIKINI!!

Erm okay?

You must fire him immediately!!!

And I suppose you're going to report him to his company for having friends over in (gasp) his own garden? You really do sound like the neighbour from hell! If he's doing something illegal, report him; otherwise mind your own bl**dy business. You're sounding more like Mary Whitehouse with every comment!

About once a week my young neighbours sit in the garden, have a drink and a little singsong. It’s so bloody cute.
My other neighbours have just built themselves some sort of fire pit. They sit out on an evening chatting and eating until it turns dark.
Honestly, I’d move somewhere else if neighbours doing normal things upsets you this much.

Sucks to be your kids. For so many reasons.

You two need to stop stalking your neighbours and get a life or move somewhere with no neighbours like I did. I get it, neighbours are annoying at times. How dare they enjoy their garden, wear a bikini and vape in their own home!

No you should not.

Gah, yes, it's just getting more and more obviously ludicrous.

You need to get a trampoline. Today. Alternatively, a basketball hoop would do. You need to get your own bbq or garden bonfire started. You need to get some music outside and a few loud friends round to visit in your garden. At present, you have nothing to bargain with.

Same here. Anyone temporarily struggling a bit before a job progression or a temporary income reduction to pay for a house with its own space, away from other people, should read threads like this. The struggle is worth it.

Literally this entire post is dripping with jealous vitriol

😂😂😂

If I lived next door to your neighbours I’d be trying to get an invite to one of their gatherings, they sound like fun people.
You however OP have a stick up your arse. Leave them be for Christ’s sake

Bloody hell, you sound like you’re the nightmare neighbour, not the people living their life having fun while the suns shining!
Good god, you definitely have a stick up your arse!

And why would it matter, even if they all had their tits out?

I think the OP needs to move somewhere really rural, where there aren't any neighbours within a few miles for her and her DH to spy on and listen to.

Jesus Christ OP you and your husband are giving this too much headspace.

Basically, she needs to get a life.

I thought it was a joke thread when I read OP

Either that or we've found an actual real life Hyacinth 😆😆

Some of my best childhood moments were over hearing adult conversations not meant for my ears , used to find it fascinating even though I didn't understand half of it. Still love a good eves drop. Bikinis! how dare they! I do live in the middle of nowhere now though, and would probably find the work meetings in the garden annoying( but still an excellent chance to be nosy) I expect it will start raining again soon, so problem solved.

You are obviously a quiet soul but as others have said moving to a new estate wasn't the best move, it might be mostly families but obviously people are going to move there before they might decide to have families.
Judging other peoples relatively normal behaviour is only going to stress you out and make things worse because you feel more resentful.
'Most people I know are at home with their families' they probably are but I'm sure they are leading normal lives with bbqs and friends visiting. Possibly have music playing for their little get togethers and some probably vape. There could be any number of social activities they have that you know nothing about.
Tbh if I knew a family member or friend who thought like you [ nothing wrong with that, each to their own] I wouldn't broadcast what I was doing either especially when it is normal behaviour of the masses in my own garden.

Ha ha ha, as a definitely non bikini owning or wearing woman, I'd never have an issue with women I could see from my window/garden wearing one at all. In fact. I'd admire their probably beautiful figures and wish I could look like them! Live and let live, OP!

The neighbours sound fine. Id prefer to listen to gossip than kids! And surely anyone can have a fun evening BBQ with friends at any age.

Thanks for the 50's input 😆I'm older still but I've never thought the way OP is writing. I still think like I'm 30, I'm not a madly social animal but still laughing and having a great lifebecause that is what it is about.😉

Oh op you've gone in with this way too soon this is a page 32 revelation to ensure a second thread. Amateur

Actually OP, there is NOTHING that I would rather hear less from my back garden than someone’s children - and that includes my neighbours’ deafening construction work that has been going on since 8.30 this morning.