AIBU to find it creepy when my father asks my 4YO about girlfriends?

[FunnyHazelPeer]

I have a 4YO DS. My parents are involved, relationship with my father has been strained but I have a good relationship with my mother so we are all around eachother.

Father asked my DS today how many girlfriends he has at school. I said that’s a weird and creepy thing to ask a child. He carried on saying I bet you have lots of girlfriends, all the girls love you.

At this point I snapped, and said to be quiet saying such stupid creepy things. DS looked at him like he had 4 heads - was very confused.

DS left the room and father told me I was being too sensitive he will have girlfriends. I said he’s FOUR!!!!!!!!!! It’s sooooo strange to be saying this to a child.

father said I’m controlling and DS will end up resenting me.

Am I in the wrong???? I think it’s creepy thing to ask???

hahahahahaha no I think you have the wrong person. No issues with mugs

But boys shouldn't be disgusted by girls, and girls shouldn't be disgusted by boys. They should be able to play and get along based on interests, not their sex.

OP has clarified that her dad has always been a sexist creep:

'But would wolf whistle at women when in the car, make innuendos to other women thinking we couldn’t understand (as I turned into a teen)
every female referred to by their appearance, for example the “girl who is well endowed”.'

If he could say those things in front of his daughter, he isn't just someone who has made a bad joke as he's a bit out of touch. He sounds like a pervert who didn't even try and hide it from his teenage daughter.

If you had read all OP's posts, you would realise that it's her dad who has the sordid mind:

'But would wolf whistle at women when in the car, make innuendos to other women thinking we couldn’t understand (as I turned into a teen)
every female referred to by their appearance, for example the “girl who is well endowed”.'

OP is obviously wary of her father's sexist comments due to him not even hiding his misogynistic and creepy behaviour directed at other women from his teenage daughter.

I have no back story but OP obviously does. This is her father during her teenage years:

'But would wolf whistle at women when in the car, make innuendos to other women thinking we couldn’t understand (as I turned into a teen)
every female referred to by their appearance, for example the “girl who is well endowed”.'

Of course he is creepy. He was creepy when OP was a child and is still creepy now that she is an adult with her own children.

It's probably outdated but I don't think it's creepy because I don't think it's anything sexual or to do with being a couple.

This comment is embarrassing. Have this conversation with your queer friends and they will tell you how absolutely essential it is to challenge the assumption that every person is straight. That very assumption is damaging to children.

Op Father has form for being a sexist creepy bastard.

Yeah, if you say so 😂

Regardless of that though, the point remains the same.

I think this is what OP should tell her DF next time he says anything.

Definitely a generation thing. My children would have been asked this and it never once crossed my mind as being creepy. Just an attempt to engage with my children.

We live in different times now and I understand your perspective although I think your reaction is more to do with how you feel about your dad generally than the comment itself.

This thread has been an eye-opener. I've always thought of this as harmless, silly banter. No sexual connotations at all.

I was often asked if I had a boyfriend as a child. It was a bit of fun. Never would I have thought it was creepy. I don't think it is creepy now!

So is this yet another thing that is on the offensive list?! Sense of humour is slowly eroding and a puritanical, far more serious society is emerging.

How is it funny? It's at best, for teasing a child and making them feel uncomfortable.

The type of adult who does that weird, loud voice around a child and tickles them too.

Just interact in a normal way, no teasing needed.

Exactly a bit of fun for who ?
Children being put on the spot to be embarrassed and taunted.
I'm late 50s it wasn't funny back in 70s
He could talk to the child about a whole myriad of things but nah let's do the old tried and tested routine.

I fell into the trap of teasing my six year old son about a crush he had. All I did was humiliate him. And telling a child ‘you’re going to be a heart breaker’ or ‘I bet all the girls/boys are after you’ is just embarrassing and often not true and again humiliating.
Asking a lighthearted ‘you have a girlfriend’? Might be ok, but going on about it is not on.