AIBU to find it creepy when my father asks my 4YO about girlfriends?

[FunnyHazelPeer]

I have a 4YO DS. My parents are involved, relationship with my father has been strained but I have a good relationship with my mother so we are all around eachother.

Father asked my DS today how many girlfriends he has at school. I said that’s a weird and creepy thing to ask a child. He carried on saying I bet you have lots of girlfriends, all the girls love you.

At this point I snapped, and said to be quiet saying such stupid creepy things. DS looked at him like he had 4 heads - was very confused.

DS left the room and father told me I was being too sensitive he will have girlfriends. I said he’s FOUR!!!!!!!!!! It’s sooooo strange to be saying this to a child.

father said I’m controlling and DS will end up resenting me.

Am I in the wrong???? I think it’s creepy thing to ask???

Im old and think its creepy. Jimmy Saville used to say it to kids on his show ( yuk…)

@Thechaseison71

Lol I had a boyfriend at primary school age ( not at school obviously as was all girls) We had decided the deal was that we could be boyfriend/ girlfriend as long as we didn't have to do yukky things like kissing and cuddling.
Think only lasted a couple of weeks until I beat him in a bike race and he wasn't amused. Poor Trevor lol
But it wasn't sexualized in the slightest.

It's not so much the sexualization, most of the time it isn't about sex. It's the desperate urge to push people into coupledom which nauseates me.

Primary age children shouldn't be thinking about being part of a couple. They've got decades to do that, why can't they enjoy the freedom that comes with not having to be part of a couple!

Its old fashioned and silly, but i don't think its creepy, and it is not intended to sexualize children imo.

It's shit. I'm 60 now and used to get it all the time growing up from elderly people. They seem to like embarrassing kids. They need to stop it.

YABU - you are projecting something which almost definitely does not exist onto the comments, possibly because you have prior issues with your father.

Boyfriend/girlfriend is a game that children have played for as long as I know. It’s a part of normal development. Posters who think this is sexualising children have a very strange view of the world in my opinion.

What part of them does it develop? Really interested to kno.

Just because something has happened for as long as you know, doesn’t mean it’s ok. Things can change.

Role play helps children make sense of their world. The boyfriend/girlfriend thing goes through stages but aside from abusive relationships it is not a sexual thing until mid teens usually.

Yeah absolutely and if my DC wanted to engage in that role play I’d have no issue. Bun why are 70YO men asking about it? My child doesn’t know what a girlfriend is, he just knows friends…. Why expose him to things he doesn’t need to know about yet. Let it naturally occur.

Up until you were 3:16pm?

What time are you now?

🙄

I think people on this site because thankfully i don't meet people like this in actual life need to write a list of what offends you and what is acceptable to say because I can't keep up

Eugh. My uncle and aunt would make comments like this all the time. Then, when my 13-year-old cousin announced he that he’s gay (blurted it out over Christmas dinner while they were probing him about how many girlfriends he must have!) they both said things along the lines of “well that’s ridiculous. You’re too young to know.”

This.
Just interject "or boyfriend" next time, it works a charm.

Taraneasing kids has always been nasty with the intent to embarrass /upset.
Taraneasing/wind up.

Taraneese Ne Scots word.

You’re going to absolutely freak out when they start getting married at school!! Stop being stupid. His comment was not made the way (several) your sordid mind worked.

Thats worrying.

When have I ever said I have an issue with my DC engaging in this roleplay? Never. School isn’t an issue.
dont put words into my mouth to fit your weird agenda

Well I’m the older generation and wouldn’t dream of saying this.

Did your dad used to say this to you OP when young?
I used to be teased like this as a child by a creep of an old man and he was a paedophile. So yes I'd be finding it very inappropriate and unsettling. Bare minimum it's unnecessary and making the child feel like a joke and up for judgement.

I hope you have a backstory and not spouting that rubbish just from this post. Easy to not like it. Easy to quietly say it makes you or child feel uncomfortable but creepy? Poor man!

I remember this as a kid - any boy I spoke to my dad would go on about him being my boyfriend. To the extent that I’d blank boys from school if I saw them in the street because I couldn’t stand the teasing. Then their parents would complain I was rude. For what it’s worth, my dad wasn’t and still isn’t a creep, I think he just thought it was funny, but I wish someone had called him out on it at the time as I was so awkward and anxious as a kid anyway

Role play of the type you're describing is something that children do organically as part of imaginative/exploratory play. It's not something adults put on them. So this is doing nothing developmentally for ops child.

I wasn’t suggesting grandpa was part of the role play! 😂

Why not put words in your mouth? You’re doing that to your father to fit your extremely weird agenda. Imagine deliberately accusing your dad of sexualising a small child and calling him creepy.
If there’s any ‘sexualising’ going on, it’s happening in your own head.
Aren't you the one who called your dad pathetic and then refused to speak to him in his own home because he had his own mug? I recognise you from loads of batshit post (despite several pointless name changes).
You clearly have an axe to grind with the poor bloke but taking it to this extent is seriously disgraceful.

I don't know..I absolutely hate talk like this but my in every other way wonderful and lovely neighbour says stuff like this from time to time. As did our cleaner. I hate to use this as an excuse (or accusation) but I think it tends to be more elderly people who say this and it was probably normal chit chat when they had kids or were kids. I don't think they mean it in a creepy way. I still don't like it but I normally just change the topic quickly.