AIBU to think neighbours should not be naked in their garden?

[babypickles]

For context: Our house is on a new build estate and the houses are pretty close together. It’s fairly easy to see into neighbours gardens because the trees etc are not well established yet.

AIBU to say my neighbours shouldn’t be naked in their garden. They are often out in the garden totally naked taking photos of themselves. They have parties quite often and it’s not uncommon for them and friends to be out in the garden naked / using the hot tub etc.

Am I being a killjoy ? Seems excessive to me.

Not sure if this has been asked/ answered already, but do they do this at all hours of the day / night all week or is it mostly later on in the evenings and at weekends / parties?

If you already speak to your neighbours generally, maybe it's worth having a light hearted chat first, explain that you actually don't have an issue with what they do in their own home (including garden) but that your son did see them in their natural state from his bedroom window, and ask them if they might consider something like a gazebo or perhaps keeping it to times / let you know about any parties so you can just manage and keep your son busy and away from the window.

Kids being kids will find it hilarious at your sons age, and to be honest, I think around his age they start learning about the human body in schools (although admittedly I might prefer that for my kids learn the human anatomy in a more controlled environment rather than an unannounced game of peek-a-bum when looking out of their windows) 🤣 but I am wondering what would happen if your son innocently mentioned it to someone because he found it funny, but that individual ended up taking serious issue with it, and they report them to the police. Would the police then jump on it as some kind of investigations into public decency / indecent exposure given that your son is quite young.

More than anything, a quick chat might resolve this, as the last thing I think either the neighbours would want is something like that going off - and also, if others getting their knickers in a twist do report it, that might mean the police knocking on your door asking to speak to your son to verify the information, which is probably not an ideal situation for yourselves to be in either.

I personally believe people have the right to live how they like, as long as it doesn't hurt or impact others. Ultimately, this is one of those situations where neither of you are being unreasonable, but you will have different perspectives and boundaries, so perhaps compromise is the best sought remedy here.

But that's just a thought & possibly something that can be sorted out with a bit of a potentially awkward (but hopefully friendly and respectful) short chat, before it all gets blown out of proportion!

Good luck OP! Please give an update, if there is one!

I'm with you on estate life, I moved from the countryside to an estate of 30 new builds and hated it. There was a large green when I moved in but a year later building started on it leaving place for kids to play (my dc was a teenager so beyond that stage) my house was in a bend so the kids used my gates as goal posts but it was dangerous and neighbours were constantly giving out about kids being in the way, leaving toys on the path, using chalk on the paths etc etc so I put goal posts in the back garden and a big gazebo shelter and left the gates open, the garden was used constantly until I moved after 4 years, those kids watered my plants if I was away, never made a mess or were absolutely polite which was a far cry from their parents that fought in the street, shouted abuse, dumped bangers of cars in gardens and were just awful. I moved back to the countryside 18 years ago and will never ever life in an estate again. Give me fields around me and foxes for neighbours.

thought of nettles makes one cover ones self, heaven forbid the muff got stung

https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/police-explain-law-sunbathing-naked-7215842

I’m weirdly comforted by this thread. Apart from a handful of pearl clutchers, it appears most people are live and let live for the naturists in our midst. I was expecting quite the opposite!

I’d always thought it was too chilly here to really be comfortable being a naturist but if we keep getting these heatwaves it might just be the answer to keeping cool that I’ve been looking for 😂

If children can see them as easily as you can, this is not appropriate.

Can we all join you?

would society be better with victorian values the omg they showed some ankle

Because women having boundaries are always pearl clutchers, got it.
But at least the cool girls are ok with males displaying their genitals to children.

I’m baffled that so many peo,et are ‘Live and let live’ because there has been so many threads before on people getting undressed/dressed in their bedroom and it has always been shouted down as inappropriate and why don’t you pull the curtains/you must be an exhibitionist etc….

Very weird to see the 180o turn

or upside down pineapples

why do many on the thread support Peeping Tom's?

Someone upthread posted something about chatting with them and asking them if they'd consider a privacy blind, or to give advance warning about parties so that you can keep your 11 year old away. If they refused it might be that they are getting off on being watched which would be a bit grim and not something you'd want your 11 year old to see, I am guessing.

Not to mention illegal - it is against the law in some circumstances to be nude, in fact, whether on private property or not - and any sort of sexual exposure is an example of what is illegal I think - if you google you'll find legal advice. For both sides, as naturists generally want privacy and want to know they are falling within the law.

. If I was @babypickles id upstage them by wearing a snazzy cardigan

I would not be able to keep my 7yr old dd away from the window 😂

You recon? Some unreasonable people are daring to look out of their own windows y'know! 🤣

What you mean by peeping toms? Because standing in your garden and looking into next door is not peeping. Looking out of your upstairs window isn’t peeping either?
We had a peeping toms years ago, they were in our garden peeping through the tiniest gap in the bathroom ( downstairs) window.

If it's any help @babypickles , you do get used to it. I've been accidentally seeing my neighbour naked for nearly 20 years.

I've seem his cock so many times now i could pick it out of a line up. 🤣 Don't even know his name (well I've forgotten it). Thankfully

Clearly i'm a fellow pervert, who allows my eyes to occasionally be directed at my windows. We should form a society.

Oh and for the previous posters who seem to think the cocks must be big to be spotted in a neighbours garden, they do not . I mean, i can see a wren in a neighbouring garden and they are tiddly🤏

A "peeping Tom" is a term for a person who secretly watches others in private spaces for intrusive or inappropriate reasons. In the UK, this specific act of non-consensual voyeurism is a criminal offence.

so if anyone watches their neighbours without consent, then they are a peeping tom

also why are people not commenting on when its females thats naked ? or are they allowed ?

That depends on the layout of the house & garden. Every house in our terrace was originally built with the kitchen upstairs, the kitchen windows offset from central, and the worktop & sink placed under & adjacent to the window, respectively. Consequently if I'm cooking, I'm facing the window, and can see about 90% of next door's garden, but I can't see our DC playing in ours. It's a bloody silly design, but we can't afford to move the kitchen.

If only there were choices between dressing like a Victorian and displaying one’s entire naked body to people who haven’t asked to see it, eh? 🙄

Seems the perfect solution in this heatwave.
Has OP told the neighbour they should probably have factor 50 on.
can you imagine the discomfort of getting sunburn on sensitive bits. Does not bear thinking about.
And perhaps advise them to wear a hat.

also no one asked to be spied on either ?

Not read beyond the OP but I'm guessing most of the answers are absolute muppets saying they wouldn't have a problem with this 😂 course you wouldn't.
Anything to be a prick to the OP though eh?