AIBU to worry my adult son's table manners affect others' views?

[DsEatingIssue]

Adult ds had terrible table manners. He rushes his food and eats like he's at a trough. You'd think he was starving.

He's overweight and it's creeping up. He used to be fit but has let it slide.
It's not that I've suddenly noticed but his way of eating seems to have got worse.
He had a good job with chance of promotion but seems stuck. He will have eaten in the company of those senior to him. I wonder if this has coloured their view of him?
He's an intelligent wonderful man. Has a relationship and a good friendship circle.
I think i know iabu to say anything about his eating habits. I definitely wouldn't mention his weight as we all know when we're overweight. But surely he can't be aware of what it looks like when he eats?
I feel like I've failed him but I don't think he was like this as a child and teen? His siblings aren't.

My daughter told me a very similar story, but they were in secondary school. She only told me about it recently and the young guy in question was highly desirable - until people saw him eat. It’s hard being a parent…if you’re not going to tell them, who will? Even at 28.

Your DS may not have lost a job because of his table manners, but he may have lost his table manners because of his perceived failure in work.
Food should be a pleasure, savoured, but if you’re unhappy it might just seem wholly functional. I suspect your DS is unhappy and the decline in table manners is symptomatic of this. Have you tried talking to him, boosting his confidence after it was hit by the job loss?

He hasn't lost his job. He has a good job. Just hasn't been promoted yet. And we chat a lot. We're very open. Just felt bad saying anything about his eating habits.

I think it’s a visceral reaction most people have to bad table manners, I’m unsure why, but seeing someone eat badly often gives a feeling of extreme disgust in the watcher,

I recall having dinner years ago, with an older Chinese colleague, he was in his sixties, and it was about 2o odd years ago, he’d come over for a work visit.

he burped loudly throughout fhe meal, had his head down to eat, smacked his lips loudly etc , no one had told me that in some older generations in China this was seen as good manners, a sign of a satisfying meal. I was absolutely horrified, we were in a really upscale restaurant, and he did it every single meal throughout the week, I could barely look at him.

then someone told me, and so it made sense. But the loud burping and rifting right next to me, really bothered me as we ate.

How interesting! Ds used to live with Chinese people. His gf is from another country not Asia though. She has good table manners.

I couldn’t eat with someone like that. It would knock me sick.

Is he like this when he is out or just at home

I can remember, at college, being given pep talks about the impression we were making on teaching practice and when interviews were beginning for our first posts.
It was not unknown (in those days) for a student who was promising to be steered towards applying to return as a new teacher in September. And one of the factors to be considered was the example they were setting at mealtimes; back in the day, the expectation was that we would sit with the children to eat.
We were also reminded that job applications could involve a full day at the school, being observed teaching as well as interview sessions, and to keep up the good impression in between; civilised small talk and good table manners at lunchtime.
It's one of those situations where you are being politely observed although nobody will actually say anything out loud.
As PP's have observed, if you, as his Mum, can't gently broach the subject, who will?

Both

We were invited to the home of lovely wealthy friends, children privately educated etc. We all decided to have a take away. When the food came it was dished out, grace was said and as soon as it finished the children dived in. It was like being at a chimpanzees tea party. My two sat for a minute in disbelief before they ate anything, id never seen anything like it and the parents said nothing.