Feeling uncomfortable after sharing a seat with a very obese passenger

[Bayleaftree63]

On public transport earlier. A very large woman sits nexts to me. She couldn’t get the seat belt
round her. Her body spilt over into my seat, leaving me squashed with what little space there was left.

On the journey I couldn’t help be annoyed at the lack of space I was left with and questioning how do people let themselves get to that size. Talking morbidly obese, not just larger - whatever the medical
term.

This isn’t about shaming, more I’m in disbelief people being that big are happy? Why wouldn’t you want to loose some weight for a healthier lifestyle.

Not everyone judges you. I am on weight loss injections even though I’m not overweight because I’m obsessed with food and cannot stop thinking about it. I appreciate it’s not easy

Unfortunately, human nature is unless you have personally experienced these things, some people just cannot empathise. My partner and mother always comment on people’s weight but I refuse to engage with it.

It’s gross and I’d be annoyed. In addition to that, you’ve paid for your seat and now someone is sitting in part of it, that’s not fair.

BTW, loads of public transport has seatbelts. Planes, newer coaches. I’ve certainly seen it.

I am really sorry for your loss, and so sorry you feel so down. It is an act of real love that you are caring for your mam. I applaud you for that and I hope you recognise what an amazing caring person you are. I know you don't feel happy right now but I just wanted to take a pause to type this and say, for what its worth, you deserve all the happiness in the world.

?minibus

Yes you did.

You know that saying "this isn't about shaming" doesn't mean you're not shaming, right?
Listen to yourself. You sound absolutely awful. And ignorant.

@NoCommentingFromNowOn why should anyone "speak nicely" to somebody speaking so horribly about others?

Since when was a flight public transport?

Think you made this up

i doubt she was happy op
she is still a human being though

Surely the passenger should take some responsibility and book an extra seat? The airline can’t weight everyone to check.

Spilt is correct.

A plane is form or transport and the public gets on it

Plenty do. Also there was no mention of the UK

i dont know what size she is, she could have been a size 22 and encroached on your seat.

Did they not ask for a seat belt extender? I am struggling to believe the flight took off without them being securely fastened.

Try harder. Actually, don’t even bother.

I once had this on a very long haul flight. I was in tears by the time I arrived. It really made my journey even more stressful and I was forced to be touched throughout the flight. I often had to travel long haul alone and the amount of times they put me next to an extremely large person who took my seat space as well as their own, was insane. I’m a size 6. I think they do it on purpose. They never seat an obese person next to an obese person on a plane. It’s so unfair. They should pay for two seats if they need to use two, rather than take half of mine. I paid for my seat so only I should be using it.

Ah well OP, at least you've got it off your chest now.

Why is the train from London to Edinburgh considered public transport but a flight doing the same route not? It is often cheaper to fly as well. Neither is publicly owned, though trains used to be.

In some places there are flight to islands that are the only access - is that considered public transport? What about ferries?

What a kind, well informed reply. Read this, OP, and think with a little bit more consideration than you did.

If it is a fact that a passenger occupies more than one seat of space and this negatively impacts the experience of the passenger sitting next to them, it should be possible to discuss that reality without blaming the person who raised it.

We all know obesity can be complex but you can't expect normal sized people give up their bought space to accommodate that.

This has nothing to do with whether the person is happy being that overweight or that obesity is complex etc. let’s counteract that and say perhaps this person loves eating and doesn’t care. The fact is it shouldn’t impact other people in this way.

Anyway imo the OP has a point. You pay for a seat and you should be able to use that seat. If you are sat next to a fat person who is spilling over it’s very uncomfortable and often they are touching you. If you’re so fat you can’t fit in the seat you should buy 2 seats or upgrade to more expensive seats. Why should someone else have to put up with this? This is why I always try and choose an aisle seat so if this happens I can turn away and spill over myself into the aisle. However in the first instance I would ask to move.

not being funny but you can also book 2 seats if it bothers you so much... just a thought

Isn’t this a problem for the UK
We are scared of confronting certain issues .

obesity is a disease and it costs the NHS significant amounts, it impacts the person themselves and it impacts the quality of life for others when sharing some facilities.

But we all politely avoid the subject.
If someone is obese then why should someone else have to sit in less space on transport or o
at a cinema or theatre? They should need to book extra large seats or two seats.
Hopefully weight loss jabs will have a positive impact on helping people to lose weight but we need to be clear it’s not acceptable to be that weight instead of just making things bigger for people and giving them disabled badges so they park nearer to things and walk less, getting less exercise and adding to the problem.

I know it’s a complex disease and I know it’s hard to break out of, but let’s be clear we can’t just accept it as a society without trying to change things. Why should other people feel uncomfortable

This will soon be a problem in the past.

Airbus is certifying a new aircraft which ensures the OP never needs to worry about a plus-sized neighbour.