Not keen on overnight pet stays - unreasonable or not?

[Susieb4964]

My brother-in-law has a new lady friend and they want to introduce their dogs (don’t ask!). She lives in our city, he lives about 200 miles away. He asked if he and the dog could stay with us for the weekend. We’ve had pets ourselves but are now pet free. We don’t mind people visiting with their pets, but don’t want overnight stays because the house isn’t pet proof, there’s stuff around everywhere that a dog could get into, and we’d have to worry about leaving doors open. My OH told this to BiL and he’s not happy, obviously. Our city has plenty of dog friendly hotels that he could use, and that would actually be more convenient because we live in the suburbs. Are we being unreasonable about this?

It’s fine to say no. Also it’s a bit rude to just say, can I bring my dog to stay at your house so I can go see someone else? He’s not even visiting you. He can stay at a campsite nice and cheap or get an Airbnb or something.

The only person who is allowed to bring their dog to our house is MIL and that’s only because her partner wouldn’t look after it and we aren’t allowed to visit her house (because of her partner who is a class A wanker). We’d never see her if she didn’t visit us with the dog, so that is the only exception. I’d never bring my dog to someone’s dog. Dh and I visit people solo if one of us needs to stay with the dog overnight.

Thanks for your replies. As dnadiscoveryquery says, BiL and potential new GF want to introduce their dogs to make sure they get on before the humans take things further. GF lives in our city, BiL lives 200 miles away. BiL wants to sleep over at our place, with dog, and visit GF during the day, also with dog, so using us as a hotel that he doesn’t have to pay for!
There is a difference between having dogs for short visits and having them overnight. You can supervise them during the day but not at night. BiL’s dog is lovely but very boisterous and I’ve seen what he does in his own home, so not happy about him coming to mine!

Is there a reason DB can't stay with potential GF? Or are both of them afraid the dogs won't get on and there will be mayhem!

Apparently so! I guess if the dogs don’t get on, the relationship is off.

No, I wouldn't want someone's dog visiting.

If I wanted a dog in the house, I'd have my own 😁

Bit rude to not be playing it as "I really want to visit you & Susie, bro, haven't seen you for ages, be lovely to spend some time etc" rather than "I wanna use your house as a dog hotel".

Or, it’ll stay on but you will end up with the dog at yours every time they get together 😂.

Say no, now.

I adore my two dogs, so much so I've just spent almost £1,000 on a pet friendly hotel whilst visiting family. I was pleased they had a walled garden and were happy to have the dogs in the garden whilst there.
I couldn't bear to leave my dogs in kennels, which would have been much cheaper because it it wasn't for the dogs we would have been more than welcome to stay in their home. N̈q,

I adore my two dogs, so much so I've just spent almost £1,000 on a pet friendly hotel whilst visiting family. I was pleased they had a walled garden and were happy to have the dogs in the garden whilst there.
I couldn't bear to leave my dogs in kennels, which would have been much cheaper because it it wasn't for the dogs we would have been more than welcome to stay in their home. N̈q,

I adore my two dogs, so much so I've just spent almost £1,000 on a pet friendly hotel whilst visiting family. I was pleased they had a walled garden and were happy to have the dogs in the garden whilst there.
I couldn't bear to leave my dogs in kennels, which would have been much cheaper because it it wasn't for the dogs we would have been more than welcome to stay in their home. N̈q,

Apologies. No idea what happened there...

If your bil is there though he would be responsible? He’s not dumping the dog on you which would be different.

he’s your Dh’s brother, I don’t see why he’d be “using your house as a hotel” by asking to stay with you? Unless you don’t have space surely it’s entirely reasonable to want to stay with your brother? Even if he is seeing his gf in the day they can catch up at night. I wouldn’t dream of expecting mine to get a hotel if I could host them.

if the dog is likely to damage things then that’s different. He’s taking the dog out in the day though so would only be around at night with the dog sleeping?

if he was asking you to take responsibility for the dog while he pisses off that’s one thing. Unless he can’t supervise his own dog properly?

It's your house, so you are within your rights to decline.

If the only thing stopping you is your house not being 'pet proof', what does that even mean? A normal dog doesn't need special arrangements, because they are house trained.

If that's just a flimsy excuse because you don't want a dog in your house, it will sound exactly like a flimsy excuse. Just be honest, it's your right to say. If someone said to me their house wasn't pet proof, I would just say mine doesn't need a pet proof house. My friends are honest and we respect each others boundaries though. Those that don't want my dog in their house just say so and it's fine.

Well that’s pretty much it, and you sound lovely. We like dogs so long as they belong to other people and when we had pets it was cats. We would happily welcome BiL, just not the dog.

I don’t know why the OP needs to be available to look after somebody else’s dog

From her update though she isn’?

bil will be there and will look after the dog. At no point will the op be responsible for it, it will be staying in the house with bil.

I have a dog but have some relatives I wouldn't want to bring their dogs to my house - others I would happily adopt. It's your home so you set the rules. If I was happy to have a dog visit I would be happy for it to sleep downstairs with my dog or in downstairs bedroom with its owner.

That's what happens if you decide to have dogs, you have to sort out a dogsitter or kennel when you go away. You don't get to impose your pets on the people you're visiting.

When we visit my sister we bring the dog but can't stay with them as they have a cat (my dog hates them) and guinea pigs and it's not really appropriate. We stay in a Travelodge and just visit with the dog which is fine.

YANBU. It's completely different having a dog overnight than having it there for a couple of hours fully supervised by the owner.

Your BIL is being a cheapskate, trying to avoid paying for an hotel.

I have two dogs and wouldn't inflict them on anyone else during the day or overnight. I wouldn't even ask.
Stick to your guns, as others have said, your house, your rules.