Did my DH’s comments to a stranger cross the line?

[Cyclingsar]

Local retail park - there’s a gym by the car park. Walking back to the car earlier, DH makes conversation with a man (early/mid 20’s I guess) and says he’s in good shape (he had a vest on and was muscly) and that he wouldn’t trust him around me. Jokey tone, the guy laughed. He then said ‘she’d eat you alive, son. She’d probably teach you a thing or two’, again he laughed and we carried on walking.

DH is a bit of a cheeky chappy and always makes conversation with strangers, but I felt this was a bit off.

Utterly grim.

Yeah, he crossed the line. I don't know why anyone makes remarks about a strangers appearance and I'll never like men who jokingly or otherwise make remarks about women's sexual habits or appearance.

I guess it wasn't his wit that attracted you to him?

It's a no from me; I prefer to choose who I want my body/sex life discussed with and speculated about, thanks. Also why on earth would he assume that a stranger was single (or polyamourous) and hetero/bi?

My thoughts too.

He’s not a “cheeky chappy,” he’s just a twat. He’s in his 50s ffs!

Yep. Not a cheeky chap. An unfunny insecure idiot.

1. who the fuck goes up to a stranger and compliments their body?
2. who the fuck them brags about his wife sexually?

Answer seems to be your cheeky chappy cunty husband I guess.

Urgh how grim. 😖 He's talking about you as if you're a prize cow. What a thoroughly bloody odd thing to say. Problem is, many middle aged men think they're hilarious. Sadly they're not. Several middle aged/just past middle aged men I know (45 to 65) makes some 'quips' and comments sometimes (to me and to others) and they actually howl with laughter at how FUNNY they are. (One takes his glasses off his face, to wipe away the tears from his eyes, and off his cheeks,) whilst everyone else is like ....... 'what did I miss?'

If you say 'errr, that wasn't actually funny' they sneer and say 'bah, nonsense! It was funny. You just don't have a sense of humour.'

YANBU @Cyclingsar Very odd way to behave. Has he done anything like this before?

.

Yuk. Cheeky chappie = crass, sexist pig.

I'm not even entirely sure exactly what he meant when he said that he wouldn't trust the young man around you. What exactly did he think could happen?

Pathetic that he was trying to impress a stranger. And so disrespectful to do it by showing off about your sex life, or exaggerating to sound like a stud. He needs to grow up.

That would be just male banter to me, OP, and nothing bad meant by it but that’s my perspective. It wouldn’t bother me,in fact I’d find it quite funny and might quip something back if they were in earshot, but you still have a right to feel uncomfortable and to communicate that to him.

Yuck 🤢

I agree. How embarrassing for you, he sounds a bit of a twat. Not keen on “cheeky chappies” either.

It sounds entirely plausible to me. DM does the same thing. Pretty sure she has ADHD and it is due to lack of impulse control.

😲 Your mother does this? Good grief. Have you asked her why and to stop?

Specifically they try to make themselves liked at women's expense.

It's a sort of pass-ag, plausibly deniable version of the explicit 1970s sexism but clothed in a veneer of 2020s "bantz".

Don't see any problems with this at all apart from you having a bit of a sense of humour bypass.

I’d be absolutely mortified if my DH spoke about me like that

For OP to have had a sense of humour bypass it would have to have been funny, surely?

So you're old enough to be this stranger's parents & your husband obliquely referenced you having sex with him?

Wow, he must've looked like a total weirdo. Going up to a lad in his 20's and commenting on his fit body, especially when he wasn't even a member of the gym himself. And then saying that his wife would "eat him alive and teach him a thing or two". Christ, it must have sounded like a proposition for a threesome or something. I'm surprised the young bloke didn't run for the hills. Personally I couldn't live with a twat like that.

Cheeky chap aged 50+?

He made a vile comment about you in front of you to a stranger. That's puerile and would give me the massive ick.

Not an appropriate thing to say to a stranger - to say that he wouldn't trust you around this man? How bloody weird is that - and so embarrassing for this young guy too. If you're both 50s you'd be old enough to be his parents.

I would be fuming.

This 💯

I retract my earlier comment and have now decided that at early 50’s he’s not a cheeky chappy, he’s just a twat.
And also insinuating that the other guy is a sex pest of some kind. That and an unprompted comment on someone else’s body - just all round grim. Sorry op, he’s not sounding like a catch at all.