Not get Dh anything for Father’s Day

[Jessy5]

He’s not done anything wrong and was generous to me on Mother’s Day. But kids are teenagers now and I feel they should sort it. I have reminded them several times and they just grunt/ignore me. I am pretty sure they won’t get him anything - they never have in the past. I usually get dh something from them but feel like it shouldn’t be on me

Well who got you your Mother’s Day stuff?????

I'd tell them to get their arsed to the shops today or else.
I'd always book to go out for lunch or something, and buy a present, but dc are left to sort the cards out.
It's a recognition that he's a good father, whilst obviously not being my father.

I wouldn't let the day pass without making sure there was a card and present, either from the kids or me.

Personally my child is only 5 but the card and gift are from us both because he is an epic father and we’re lucky to have him by our side.

My dc are teens and I absolutely ensured they got him gifts and a plan. Yes he’s their father but he’s the father of MY dc and I want him to be celebrated. I can’t see my dad ties weekend so my dm is taking my df out. I never get the mn attitude.

Overall I love dh and don’t want him to be upset so knowingly allowing your dc to make him feel upset seems like something you’d do to someone you dislike.

I think you should be having a serious conversation with the children, not just reminding them.

If he made sure you got things for Mothers Day then you need to return the courtesy.

I would get him something this year if he got you something but afterwards I think you all need a sit down agreement that the kids need to sort it out in future for both of you and needs to come from both of you as a united front.

Maybe the kids don’t want to celebrate this made up event.

I was thinking maybe getting nothing could embarrass dc into dealing with it in future - otherwise they’ll just always leave it to me. I understand the points people are making and agree that dh shouldn’t be let down but fed up with things like this falling to me when kids are older now . Btw I’d explain the sit to dh so he’d understand what had happened and I wasn’t snubbing him

I agree with you that your children should sort it out. But at the same time if your husband made sure you had a good Mother’s Day it’s not really fair not to return the favour.

I hear what you’re saying but teaching them a lesson will be at your husbands expense which doesn’t seem very fair when you’re saying he’s a good dad? Ok, he’s not your father but he’s the father of your children I think it’s a day when you can show your appreciation for him too.

I would be bitterly disappointed in my teenagers if I were you and I'd be having very strong words with them.

As for whether you should get him something, considering he was 'very generous' to you on MD, why on earth wouldn't you?

It doesn't make sense really.

If you wanted to put a stop to doing what your teenagers should be doing, you could've done it years ago and well before the day.

If he's managed to ensure you've had a good mother's day - then you do the same for him.

You can sit down/discuss with the teenagers after.

Him deal with his own Father’s Day? Come on OP, this just sounds mean. It’s one day fgs. If you’ve got a problem with your husband then address it. This seems very passive aggressive.

Your kids need to get their arses into gear. You should be telling them this. Today. In NO uncertain terms!

He gave you a good Mother’s Day, you should return that. I go to M&s usually and fill a large gift bag with his favourite treats and a couple of beers/ciders. And he gets to choose dinner (steak pie and chips this time)
Afterwards you both need to speak to the kids ahead of next time.

He ensured you had a nice Mother’s Day not your badly behaved teenagers! To do this would really make me rethink my relationship!

If he was generous to you on mothers day it would be a shitbag thing to do to him.....even if you do tell him.

If you are going to take a stance the time to explain this to the kids is not the day before

Why would you do this to your children - how nasty

How would you feel if your DH neglected Mother’s Day and you received nothing?
How old are the teens? Closer to 13 YABU 19 they should be taking initiative

That is such an astonishingly lazy attitude I feel embarrassed. You're completely insulting his role as father and husband

I've spent my entire life fighting the stereotype of lazy ungrateful women abd then I read this which just proves alk men right

DS19 eldest of 4 bought DH a Father's Day gift before going on his summer break in Europe. I had to prompt it! It's not just you OP. Many of us have this problem.

I would support them in doing something this year. Then talk about it with your husband and work out what you want to do from now. In our house, at some point in the teenage years, we moved to reminding them and it's Father's day and asking do they need any help with actioning their plan and then eventually just reminding.

OP, I am confused as to why you want to embarrass your children into doing something. DD14 and I are off to town this afternoon to get something for DH having only remembered about it yesterday. It doesn't have to be a big thing. I appreciate some families choose not to celebrate what is admittedly a made up event but as you celebrated Mother's Day, I am guessing that's not you guys. Surely if you get the kids together, mention it is FD tomorrow they will come up with some idea about what to get/make a card/make a cake before tomorrow morning. You might need to remind them and provide transport to a shop if you live rurally but they should be participating, shouldn't they? Why wouldn't they want to do something nice for their dad? Why wouldn't you want them to be embarrassed tomorrow and presumably DH a bit disappointed/embarassed? They should do the heavy lifting with the ideas but surely you don't want to 'catch them out' by not reminding them.