When you are on your knees with busyness and someone starts on you with "I'm just sooooo busy" and you know actually they're definitely less busy

[CurdinHenry]

Is it unreasonable to despise them in that moment?

YANBU but I don’t despise them, I just inwardly roll my eyes and get on with my busy life 😆

I used to be busy. 3 under 5 and five jobs. A cottage to renovate and a huge dog to train and walk. 600 guinea pigs (well, 11), cats and a big garden and pond to maintain. On my own.

I know what properly busy is.

Nowadays it's safe to say i'm less busy. But i still have 'busy' days.

It's not a competition, but it's like pain and injury though isn't it. Paramedics say they go to the quiet ones first because the ones yelling and moaning are probably fine ...

Same. My mother’s personality is busy. She’s never done saying how busy she is …. The reality is I’m pretty sure she’s had undiagnosed adhd her whole life and is wildly poor at time management

It's true.

The OP should learn that it's all actually relative.

Then she wouldn't despise anyone in the moment.

Sometimes I feel more busy when I have less on due to overwhelm and worry, sometimes a busy life can feel under control and better. But yes technically some people can handle and complete vastly more tasks than others. On a good day I am one of them but I have learned that the reason I look down on those who are less busy is that I'm equating busyness with self worth and often using my own busyness to mask the deeper demands of my body and soul. My busyness is often a weird kind of demand avoidance, paradoxical as that sounds.

It depends, imo, on whether they know how much busier the person they're complaining to is. If they know (and haven't just forgotten for a moment), YABU to despise them. That's a strong reaction. The only reason I'd despise someone for complaining about being busy would be if I know they know that I'm much busier and they're intentionally rubbing it in. Or if they're responsible for my greater workload, in some way.

So you’re the busiest. And no one else is allowed to contest your busiest crown?

Not to busy to start a thread on MN then OP?

@CurdinHenry sorry you are getting such a hard time. I agree.

I can wind back to an early December day in about 2008. I had a full-time job, was doing an MBA, two children at two schools in opposite directions. Workaholic husband, etc, etc. A mum of one of the other children came up to me, a SAHM with a DH who worked from home and shared drop offs/pick-ups with her, two DC at the same school. She told me how stressed she was with Christmas preparations and how she didn't know how she'd organose Chrostmas and get everything done. I managed to nod and smile outwardly, wants inwardly wanting to tell her to sort herself out. I had no difficulty organising Christmas.

The thing about busy people is that they often tend to be people who take on more. A full time job, a husband who works away and two children? It’s totally time to get a dog, have a baby or have your house knocked to bits!

I remember a friend (who is extremely nice but overloads herself with activities) saying that her daughter wanted mine to join her in activity XYZ - and being quite shocked when I said that, if anything, I wanted my daughter to drop an activity rather than take one on. I mean, she could have done XYZ but it was going to add to an already over scheduled child’s load so it wasn’t necessary.

I don’t think I’ve ever been busy in my life. I’m glad because I’d hate that

You start a new thread every single day @CurdinHenry

Maybe lay off mumsnet and you’ll have more time?

I used to be busy. Now I’m not. I work full time and have a child, but say no to anything I don’t want to do. I have a chronic illness that can knock me out for a few days at a time: so there are days where all I can manage is the bare minimum at work; and spending time with my child. I have a great DH who picks up the slack when I’m ill.

have a friend who is a single mum who drones incessantly about how busy she is. She only has her child 50% of the time, and she doesn’t work. But she’s a lot busier than me and has such a hard time